sasha_feather: Amelie, white woman with dark hair, smiling cheerfully (Amelie)
I recently re-watched "Grumpy Old Men" with my roommate. Part of the reason I loved this movie when I was younger was because it portrayed our Minnesotan culture in winter, dealing with snow and ice fishing and a sort of friendly grumpiness. Unfortunately the Jewish elements were a bit too subtle for my young eyes and went right over my head at the time, but I caught them this time around.

Something that stood out for me is when Ariel asks John Gustafson (old older Swedish-Minnesotan man) if he is straight or gay. He sputters and is totally taken aback. He says something like, maybe you can ask those kinds of questions in California, but not here!

I'm trying to be more forthright (straight forward is not the word), but it's swimming against a lot of culture, going back generations all the way back to Sweden.
sasha_feather: white woman in space suit (Astronaut)
I'm tired. Really tired and not breathing great.

I'm watching the Fosters on Netflix, playing computer games, and chilling. The dog park is not great right now because it's super icy. And the last few days have been brutally cold. Today was warmer, so we went briefly, but it's tough walking over rough slush that's been frozen. This time of year, I wish for an indoor dog park. Abbie does too. I'm thinking of buying her an expensive coat. It's tough to spend money, but she could really use something to help cover her hairless thighs. The Greyhound people like this brand:
http://www.k9apparel.com/Greyhound-s/138.htm

I liked this Teen Wolf story which also has some great art!
Tide Pulls from the Moon by paintedrecs
http://archiveofourown.org/works/5438072
sasha_feather: sirius black from harry potter films (sirius black)
Perhaps you all can help! I am looking for:

A journal/ diary website to track headaches/ facial pain
that is not a phone or tablet app, as I don't have a smart phone or tablet
that is free or very cheap
that does not trigger a security alert on my computer (ie not shady)
sasha_feather: by Such_heights (Dani Sense8)
Hi!

I took a week and a half off of the internet, except for very occasionally checking twitter, so please direct me to anything you'd like me to see!

I went with my parents to see "Concussion" on Christmas Day at our neighborhood theater; we saw 5 people we knew including our neighbors who live up the road. That is the neat part about being where I grew up; I recognize people, landscapes and places are deeply familiar. Anyway, I liked the film because it was scientific, thoughtful, and a story about seeking and speaking truth. It did not pass the Bechdel test. One note is that it contains a pregnancy loss, so be advised.

I watched "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel", which was quite cute. This was not a particularly deep or moving story, but it had a very nice cast and was pleasant.
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
Trigger warning: rape, rape culture, sexism, racism

In “80 Books No Woman Should Read,” [http://lithub.com/80-books-no-woman-should-read/] Rebecca Solnit says, “I just think some books are instructions on why women are dirt or hardly exist at all except as accessories or are inherently evil and empty. Or they’re instructions in the version of masculinity that means being unkind and unaware, that set of values that expands out into violence at home, in war, and by economic means.”

Those who listen to popular music at all, know this is true of music also. In her sensitive essay, “Hear him Whip the Women,” [http://curamag.com/issues/2015/12/4/hear-him-whip-the-women], Stacy Parker Le Melle ponders the Rolling Stones’ song “Brown Sugar”:

Read more... )
sasha_feather: sirius black from harry potter films (sirius black)
At Shingle Street on Ao3

Rating: Explicit
M/M original characters
about 33K
WWII, England

Once I started reading this fic I couldn't put it down. It has alternating view points between a disabled English WWI veteran and a young deserter from the German Army, during WWII in England. The characters are exceptionally well drawn. Hugh, the Englishman, has lung problems from gas attacks. This fic got at some of my favorite themes: living with disability (for Hugh), queer identity (for both charcters), and a slowly building relationship. I loved it.
sasha_feather: Big book of Lesbian Horse stories book cover (lesbian horse stories)
Saw a PA yesterday at the pain and headache clinic. In my experience PAs are better than doctors for dealing with chronic conditions. For one thing, they seem to have more time.

Things I'm going to try:
Read more... )

I liked season 2 of The 100 much, much better than season one and watched it really fast.

In dog news, I finally got Abbie to sit on the couch with me. This is amazing as she's been scared of the couch for a long time. It's really nice to cuddle on the sofa with a dog!
sasha_feather: Amelie, white woman with dark hair, smiling cheerfully (Amelie)
Fiction:
Mission Child by Maureen McHugh

Non-Fiction:
Bayard Rustin: The Invisible Activist by Jacqueline Jaeger Houtman, Walter Naegle, and Michael G. Long

Comics and Graphic Novels:

The Infinite Wait and other stories by Julia Wertz
Seconds, by Bryan Lee O'Malley
Ms. Marvel volumes 1 and 2 by G. Willow Wilson and Adrian Alphona
The Midas Flesh vol. 1 by Ryan North, Braden Lamb, Shelli Paroline, Steve Wands
Nimona by Noelle Stevenson
Saga, vol. 4 and 5 by Brian K. Vaughn and Fiona Staples

the 100

Dec. 12th, 2015 07:20 pm
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
I watched the first season of The 100 on Netflix. There were some things about it I really liked, but enough annoying things that I'm not sure I'll continue.

cut for spoilers
Read more... )
sasha_feather: by Such_heights (Dani Sense8)
I got waaaay over tired this weekend. In my head I should still be able to do moderately physical things. And of course the weird thing is, sometimes I still can. But I helped my friend move, and the bending/leaning over involved in packing and such was just too much. On Saturday night I slept for 13 hours. On Sunday I went back and packed the fridge and freezer. I didn't lift any heavy items.

On Monday I picked up my computer only to find it still not connecting to the internet. I was still super tired and had a meltdown.

This week has been hard. I am feeling very impaired.

Good things:

While without internet, I read several comic books. I'm really enjoying comics club.
Abbie dog is happy and silly. And healthily plump right now; she loves her new flavor of dog kibble which is lamb.
Having my internet back at least provisionally!!!!
Wool socks!
sasha_feather: white woman in space suit (Astronaut)
A friend asked me about dealing with chronic illness and fatigue, which I manage largely though scaling way way back on my commitments and resting a lot. I have some other practical tips though, which I thought I'd share. Some of these things I learned from [personal profile] jesse_the_k and other people in my life. Not all of these will be possible or relevant for everyone.

1. For light sensitivity, wear a hat with a brim. (I go almost nowhere without one.) I also sometimes wear sunglasses indoors and I use lamps rather than overhead lights in my apartment.
2. Carry chewing gum. Not great if you have TMJ, but if you have migraines/headaches, chewing gum can loosen up your stiff jaw muscles.
3. Carry food and water. When I was working I often carried granola bars, cheese sticks, apples, and chips. I also would try to have some change for the vending machine.
4. If you have trouble remembering to eat (or take meds, etc), set a timer on your phone to remind you.
5. Leave work, literally, and take breaks. Go for a walk, find a quiet room away from your desk. Find a sofa and take an actual nap (again, use the timer on your phone).
6. Stock up on ice packs and hot packs. Invest in a good electric heating pad.
7. Ask for, and accept help. (this is one of the hardest ones on here.)
8. Get grocery delivery if you can.
9. Wear comfortable shoes, and rotate them. Wear comfortable clothes in general.
10. Give yourself permission to rest. (this is also hard).
sasha_feather: by Such_heights (Dani Sense8)
Your jokes have brought you fortune and fame
but today you should be feeling some shame
if your punchline is "fat"
get off the damn mat
and come back when you've brought your A game.


CC commons licence, share and share alike, 2015
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
Just for the record, I hated "Ex Machina". It was a science fiction movie about straight male fantasies come to life and gone wrong. It was gross.

This blog post gets into some of the racist stuff in the movie:

http://multiasianfamilies.blogspot.com/2015/05/how-ex-machina-abuses-women-of-color.html
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
I'm going to write about seeing Mia Mingus! She is so awesome, has so many great ideas, such great open energy. By culture and personality, I am somewhat conflict averse, and yet also drawn to things that involve cognitive dissonance, which is a problem. Mia has this way of being hungry for the conflict, of digging into with enthusiasm. Like, YES, let's TALK about that uncomfortable thing! And it is just honestly such a relief.

I went to a small group session where we talked about a couple of her essays from her website:
1. Changing the Framework: Disability Justice
https://leavingevidence.wordpress.com/2011/02/12/changing-the-framework-disability-justice/

2. Access Intimacy: The Missing Link
https://leavingevidence.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/access-intimacy-the-missing-link/

3. Moving Toward the Ugly: A Politic Beyond Desirability
https://leavingevidence.wordpress.com/2011/08/22/moving-toward-the-ugly-a-politic-beyond-desirability/

The third one really blew my mind. LOVED it. Here is another way of resisting respectability politics: embrace magnificence instead of prettiness. Be memorable, own the way you look and are.

We talked a bit about being uncomfortable with "body positivity", and the intersection of disability and fat politics. This is an exciting area to me and I'd like to see more people talking about it. These are both highly stigmatized categories and activists from the two groups seem to want to avoid each other due to this stigma, even though the intersection between the two groups is pretty readily apparent. Think of fat activists emphasizing "health at any size" and talking about how they are healthy and active at their weight--centering health, which is not exactly friendly to those of us who are not in good health. Meds can cause weight gain or loss; weight (high or low) itself can be associated with certain illnesses; etc. Anyways, Dave Hingsburger writes about this a bit (mostly the stigma of being a fat wheelchair user). And I always, always rec The Fat Nutritionist, especially this post: You have no obligation to be healthy.

Mia Mingus talked about how when we are so committed to the social model of disability (or any kind of social model), we can run up against the wall of our bodies. And so we need to talk about embodiment. I think part of loving and caring for our bodies is acknowledging that being embodied can totally suck sometimes. It is ok to feel negative.

During her key note, Mia Mingus talked about transformative justice and her work using it to address child sexual abuse (often adult survivors of same). She works with Bay Area Transformative Justice Collective. One of the themes of her talk was building alternatives to our state institutions, because how can we depend on the state to address violence when the state uses violence and oppression against us?

This event was part of the Gender and Women's Studies 40th anniversary event on campus. I went to some of the events the next day, but they were... much more academic and kind of not my thing.
sasha_feather: Cindi Mayweather (janelle monae) (Cindi Mayweather)
Lately this song appeals to me as an activist and person:

Am I Wrong (Nico & Vinz -- Official -- You Tube)

The video shows two young black men searching for and eventually finding each other. At the end, they joyfully reunite. Through their journeys, they are each carrying around an old black and white TV that seems to be giving them clues to the other's location. They set these TVs down at the end. They also seek advice from villagers and various people.

Lyrics version:
https://youtu.be/zKX_zR022QY

It can be hard to have different opinions, desires, ways of being than the rest of the culture and especially from your friends. If fandom, and all subcultures, the feeling to go along with the crowd is strong, because you feel like these are "your people". We all seek connection with our friends. But for many of us we can't just go along with the crowd, because we have different beliefs, or we just aren't into what the crowd is doing, even within our own subculture. This can be painful.

We can still connect and love each other even when we disagree. It's hard, it's confusing and there is no script. The signal is fuzzy. But we can do it.
sasha_feather: sirius black from harry potter films (sirius black)
Oct 10 2005
I had a lovely weekend at home. It involved a night-time chicken-catching expedition: picture Sasha crawling around on a haystack, wearing an odd assortment of warmish clothes, clutching a flashlight in one hand and prowling for sleepy chickens. We gave a few hens away to a kid who wanted some (for his birthday) to round out his flock. My weekend also involved fun digital photography, banana bread, fudge, chinese take-out, clothes-shopping with mom, and general recovery and escape. Ack, I want to move back home.

Oct 11 2006
Some of my favorite science fiction and fantasy stories deal with connections between humans and animals, notably David Brin's Uplift series, Tamora Pierce's Wild Magic, and the books I am reading right now, Robin Hobb's Assassin trilogy.

Oct 12 2007
I am writing a lot today-- it is going well. I'm having fun with my story, and I think I might be able to actually finish it at some point, maybe even this weekend.

Today's word count so far is: 1,933
Total word count for story: 5,036 (10 pages in Word) [this is before I gave up writing fiction]
Things I'm learning:

--Some days it just goes better than others, but there is no way to predict which days these will be, which is like a lot of other stuff in life.
--It's easy for me to write about horses. The visual and sensory details are all right there in my mind, they are inherently interesting to me, and it puts me in a good mood.
--I lack practice in writing. This is what I need to work on: just building up some experience and confidence. This is also very similar to a lot of other stuff in life.

Oct 10 2008, writing a long entry about my abusive job:
Still. I'm coughing now, the mouth sores came back, and I'm punchy with exhaustion. I want out. Now.

Oct 10 2009
Maybe last week? I finally changed my OK Cupid profile to say "bisexual". [I now prefer "queer"]

About 2 or 3 months ago I changed my facebook profile to say "Looking for: Friendship" only and eliminated the "interested in" portion. (This also has the nice side effect of reducing dating ads in the sidebar.)

Oct 10 2010
--I really do have a lot on my plate. I am responsible for 3 studies and helping out with a 4th. I also write and edit papers (which I enjoy). The hardest, most exhausting part is talking to people I don't know, which I have to do a lot of lately, and that will get easier with practice. I am learning new software, learning to read medical charts, asking questions constantly.
--I am very sensitive to criticism
--I was very burned by my last job
--It's still a new job. I do really enjoy it! But I'm currently putting most of my energy into the job and need to rest and do self-care a lot. I'm pretty good about leaving on time and not going in on my day off. I don't make enough money for that.

Oct 12 2011, writing about a performance
Mostly what I got out of this show came during the panel and Q and A at the end: the panelists talked about how people of color don't have the luxury of leaving behind their families or their faith when they come out, because those institutions are so necessary when navigating a white supremacist society. Communities of faith, nor queer communities, aren't going away, and interstitial, compromise spaces are needed.

Oct 9 2012
I was super anxious at work today. Sometimes I get this fear/feeling that I am bad at my job, and I am going to get reprimanded or fired or something, and it makes me not want to go to work at all--self-destructive tendencies, etc.

I guess it's a good thing I have therapy this week.

Oct 8 2013
I am happy to be working again. So far work is not very social, and I stare at a computer too much. I will have to look around for people to talk to and places to walk. I don't know why sitting at a desk is so hard on my body.

Oct 9 2014
I met a very lovely Greyhound today that I will hopefully get to adopt. She is an almost-3-year-old girl, black, a bit timid. She has a playful side that I think will come out once she settles in. [personal profile] were_duck came along to meet her.

Oct 11 2015

Today is unseasonably warm. I'm farm sitting. It's quiet and peaceful, perhaps a bit lonely but at least there are plenty of animals around, and also the internet.
sasha_feather: Cindi Mayweather (janelle monae) (Cindi Mayweather)
I went with some friends to WtNV last night at the Barrymore. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I recognized a lot of people there. I was really stoked to see Dessa as the musical guest.

I've seen Dessa in concert, and some nice things about seeing her as part of a WtNV show are: it's not quite as loud as a music concert. One can sit rather than having to stand. (Although I enjoy dancing, my body is not quite up for it these days.) You don't have to deal with opening bands if those aren't your thing. And it's a shorter set, she did maybe 6-7 songs all together. The disadvantage is there isn't a full band-- it was her and one other musician who did percussion and background vocals.

For the Night Vale show, we got to see and hear Carlos, Kevin, Tamika Flynn, and Meg, in addition of course to Cecil. It's always striking to me how much better and different it is to see the actors live rather than just listening to the podcast. Cecil can hold the attention of a huge auditorium full of people. Carlos (Dylan Marron) is just the cutest person who ever lived; he seems like he is made from sparkles and sunshine.

The venue's main problem is that there is one small bathroom in the basement, so for people using the women's room the line goes all the way up this set of stairs (I don't know if there is an elevator or not).

Tons of queer people at this event! Two adorable, fat gay guys sat behind us. They were probably in their 40s, friendly and fun. A kid over to my left held her book in the air when Tamika talked about the power of reading. The show involved a bit of audience participation and the crowd felt really into it.

This show is recommended, even if you are not caught up with the podcast (which I'm not).
sasha_feather: aldis hodge wearing shades (aldis hodge in the matrix)
Some previews we saw:

Revenant:

Man pain dick flick! Set in the old West, starring Leo DiCaprio. Based on true actual man pain events!

Crimson Peak:

A horror film by Guillermo Del Toro. I love GDT but don't like horror films. Torn. Maybe I'll see it on DVD during the day time.

Bridge of Spies:

Looks boring to me. Lots of old white dudes and cold war stuff. *shrug*

Point Break:

A remake with a bunch of young unknown actors. Might be a fun popcorn film.

The Woods:

Horror movie.

Joy:

This director is making movies with the same two people, over and over-- Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper. Well, I guess if you have a working formula! This does look like a fun movie, but the preview didn't give us much to go on.

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