sasha_feather: sirius black from harry potter films (sirius black)
Oct 10 2005
I had a lovely weekend at home. It involved a night-time chicken-catching expedition: picture Sasha crawling around on a haystack, wearing an odd assortment of warmish clothes, clutching a flashlight in one hand and prowling for sleepy chickens. We gave a few hens away to a kid who wanted some (for his birthday) to round out his flock. My weekend also involved fun digital photography, banana bread, fudge, chinese take-out, clothes-shopping with mom, and general recovery and escape. Ack, I want to move back home.

Oct 11 2006
Some of my favorite science fiction and fantasy stories deal with connections between humans and animals, notably David Brin's Uplift series, Tamora Pierce's Wild Magic, and the books I am reading right now, Robin Hobb's Assassin trilogy.

Oct 12 2007
I am writing a lot today-- it is going well. I'm having fun with my story, and I think I might be able to actually finish it at some point, maybe even this weekend.

Today's word count so far is: 1,933
Total word count for story: 5,036 (10 pages in Word) [this is before I gave up writing fiction]
Things I'm learning:

--Some days it just goes better than others, but there is no way to predict which days these will be, which is like a lot of other stuff in life.
--It's easy for me to write about horses. The visual and sensory details are all right there in my mind, they are inherently interesting to me, and it puts me in a good mood.
--I lack practice in writing. This is what I need to work on: just building up some experience and confidence. This is also very similar to a lot of other stuff in life.

Oct 10 2008, writing a long entry about my abusive job:
Still. I'm coughing now, the mouth sores came back, and I'm punchy with exhaustion. I want out. Now.

Oct 10 2009
Maybe last week? I finally changed my OK Cupid profile to say "bisexual". [I now prefer "queer"]

About 2 or 3 months ago I changed my facebook profile to say "Looking for: Friendship" only and eliminated the "interested in" portion. (This also has the nice side effect of reducing dating ads in the sidebar.)

Oct 10 2010
--I really do have a lot on my plate. I am responsible for 3 studies and helping out with a 4th. I also write and edit papers (which I enjoy). The hardest, most exhausting part is talking to people I don't know, which I have to do a lot of lately, and that will get easier with practice. I am learning new software, learning to read medical charts, asking questions constantly.
--I am very sensitive to criticism
--I was very burned by my last job
--It's still a new job. I do really enjoy it! But I'm currently putting most of my energy into the job and need to rest and do self-care a lot. I'm pretty good about leaving on time and not going in on my day off. I don't make enough money for that.

Oct 12 2011, writing about a performance
Mostly what I got out of this show came during the panel and Q and A at the end: the panelists talked about how people of color don't have the luxury of leaving behind their families or their faith when they come out, because those institutions are so necessary when navigating a white supremacist society. Communities of faith, nor queer communities, aren't going away, and interstitial, compromise spaces are needed.

Oct 9 2012
I was super anxious at work today. Sometimes I get this fear/feeling that I am bad at my job, and I am going to get reprimanded or fired or something, and it makes me not want to go to work at all--self-destructive tendencies, etc.

I guess it's a good thing I have therapy this week.

Oct 8 2013
I am happy to be working again. So far work is not very social, and I stare at a computer too much. I will have to look around for people to talk to and places to walk. I don't know why sitting at a desk is so hard on my body.

Oct 9 2014
I met a very lovely Greyhound today that I will hopefully get to adopt. She is an almost-3-year-old girl, black, a bit timid. She has a playful side that I think will come out once she settles in. [personal profile] were_duck came along to meet her.

Oct 11 2015

Today is unseasonably warm. I'm farm sitting. It's quiet and peaceful, perhaps a bit lonely but at least there are plenty of animals around, and also the internet.
sasha_feather: Cindi Mayweather (janelle monae) (Cindi Mayweather)
I went with some friends to WtNV last night at the Barrymore. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I recognized a lot of people there. I was really stoked to see Dessa as the musical guest.

I've seen Dessa in concert, and some nice things about seeing her as part of a WtNV show are: it's not quite as loud as a music concert. One can sit rather than having to stand. (Although I enjoy dancing, my body is not quite up for it these days.) You don't have to deal with opening bands if those aren't your thing. And it's a shorter set, she did maybe 6-7 songs all together. The disadvantage is there isn't a full band-- it was her and one other musician who did percussion and background vocals.

For the Night Vale show, we got to see and hear Carlos, Kevin, Tamika Flynn, and Meg, in addition of course to Cecil. It's always striking to me how much better and different it is to see the actors live rather than just listening to the podcast. Cecil can hold the attention of a huge auditorium full of people. Carlos (Dylan Marron) is just the cutest person who ever lived; he seems like he is made from sparkles and sunshine.

The venue's main problem is that there is one small bathroom in the basement, so for people using the women's room the line goes all the way up this set of stairs (I don't know if there is an elevator or not).

Tons of queer people at this event! Two adorable, fat gay guys sat behind us. They were probably in their 40s, friendly and fun. A kid over to my left held her book in the air when Tamika talked about the power of reading. The show involved a bit of audience participation and the crowd felt really into it.

This show is recommended, even if you are not caught up with the podcast (which I'm not).
sasha_feather: aldis hodge wearing shades (aldis hodge in the matrix)
Some previews we saw:


Man pain dick flick! Set in the old West, starring Leo DiCaprio. Based on true actual man pain events!

Crimson Peak:

A horror film by Guillermo Del Toro. I love GDT but don't like horror films. Torn. Maybe I'll see it on DVD during the day time.

Bridge of Spies:

Looks boring to me. Lots of old white dudes and cold war stuff. *shrug*

Point Break:

A remake with a bunch of young unknown actors. Might be a fun popcorn film.

The Woods:

Horror movie.


This director is making movies with the same two people, over and over-- Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper. Well, I guess if you have a working formula! This does look like a fun movie, but the preview didn't give us much to go on.
sasha_feather: horses grazing on a hill with thunderheads (horses and lightning)
Mouth pain, 'nuf said. It's so exhausting and demoralizing.

Good things:

--Saw an old friend at the dog park, unexpectedly!
--Saw The Martian tonight with [ profile] trinityclare. We both liked it.
--Really, really enjoying Elementary. I'm in season three now because I watch it every day. There is a scene where Sherlock tells Joan that she shouldn't try for a conventional relationship, that it goes against her eccentric, adventure-seeking nature. She feels that her family wants her to have a conventional relationship but she ends up sabotaging her attempts at them. And that this makes her a more interesting person; it's a feature not a bug.

a nice day

Oct. 3rd, 2015 11:47 pm
sasha_feather: Amelie, white woman with dark hair, smiling cheerfully (Amelie)
--I really enjoyed going to comics club today. Some of us had ice cream afterwards. It's a great group of people that I probably otherwise would not have gotten to meet. I took a pleasant, dozy nap afterwards.

--The weather is really nice and I can wear my jackets and sweaters.

--Do you ever look in the mirror and think, ooh, yay, I'm getting wrinkles! just me?
sasha_feather: Daredevil in a suit (Daredevil)
I took a bit of an internet break largely because my internet (or computer? who knows) was being troublesome. Still is, but there seem to be periods where it works OK. I don't know what is wrong, so don't know what to do about it.

On Saturday some mysterious energy appeared in my life/body/mind and I cleaned my apartment, in anticipation of having a few friends over. It was very nice to see them. I've been feeling a bit isolated, so I'm going to try and make more of an effort to get out and see people. One of the great things about my friends is not only do I like them-- I also like the people they introduce me to! quality all around.

Of course I overdid it yesterday, and today I am exhausted. Today has involved sleeping and resting.

A project for when it is slightly cooler: I want to take pictures of my coats and post them. coat fandom yay.

I am trying to get rid of things out of my apartment and make space for as yet unknown new things. It's that time of year.
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
Comparing Mad Max: Fury Road to Snowpiercer. This post contains small spoilers for both films.

Read more... )
sasha_feather: white woman in space suit (Astronaut)
My breathing was crappy yesterday due to wildfire smoke coming in from the West. The sky was gray and hazy at 5 pm and the sun was orange. Today seems a bit better.

The internet still randomly cuts out on me, but the good news is the upstairs neighbor wants to share so at least it isn't costing us as much.

Trees are being cut down in our neighborhood; I think they are Ash trees, at risk from Emerald Ash borer.

Have a Teen Wolf Rec!

Electricity in the Contact by ladyblahblah

Derek/Stiles, Pretend Relationship, 27K.

One thing I loved about this story is that in their pretend relationship-- which is for the benefit of making Derek appear less vulnerable at a werewolf event-- Derek and Stile have safe words which they use to express their discomfort with something in front of others who are not in the loop. Then they go away in private and discuss the thing. It's a very healthy approach to a pretend relationship! Heh. I loved this story.
sasha_feather: "The heroine's achivement of autonomy and self-actualization was the point of the narrative" (heroine)
Content note for discussion of cursing, violent language, rape culture.

Read more... )
sasha_feather: beautiful gray horse. (majestic horse)
Cute little milestone.

Abbie laid down in the creek to cool herself off. She oh so carefully sat her haunches down, then experimentally, slowly sat down into "sphinx pose" with her head just above the surface.

She zipped around the narrow side park, running in loops. Someone walking along the bike path on the other side of the creek stopped to admire her run.
sasha_feather: "subversive" in rainbow colors (subversive)
So sometimes around the internet I run into this Problem statement:
Something terrible happens in (usually the South or SouthWest).
Some people will respond with "Why do people even live there?" or "just let them secede".

I find this so problematic in so many ways.

-- These folks are essentially writing off whole swathes of people and places. There are many activists working hard to make those places better. There are people all over the country who *can't* move away and who don't want to. There's history and culture and resources in those places and why would just let the haters have those things? And even if the good folks were to move away....

--Assuming that where you live is better is so wrong.

In the important essay I, Racist by John Metta, he quotes his sister:

“The only difference between people in the North and people in the South is that down here, at least people are honest about being racist.”

--White people where I live (Wisconsin) are sometimes smug and think that there isn't racism here. But Wisconsin is the worst state for mass incarceration of black men and Native American men (source: NPR 2013). And we're the worst for having a gap in graduation rates between black and white students (source: Madison newspaper 2013). It isn't different in other parts of the country. Racism is everywhere. It's in your hometown.

--This framing falls into "us vs. them" thinking. "Those racists over there" are the problem. I was taught that as a white person growing up in a racist society, I *am* racist; it's what I do about it that matters. I must actively combat racism within myself. That is where I begin.
sasha_feather: Bright green grass (green grass)
I spent a good chunk of the day outside today, because it was a cool 70 degrees F (21 C). So great.

This purple plant is a new one for me, it's called Persian Shield. Whether or not it's actually Persian, I have no idea. It's growing very well and I plopped it in a bigger pot. A sprig broke off, so I stuck that in water and will see if it roots.

picture of Persian Shield plant )

I sold a few plants on Craigslist: some purple queen and one of my palms, and even one big spider plant, to 2 different people for a total of 60 dollars. The spider plants, I have so many of, that the supply is much greater than the demand. I really love how vigorous they are. They seize life. If they could survive the winter, they'd be invasive.

I need more pots and potting soil. In my dreams; I would have a big green house and growing magic!

Good things

Aug. 2nd, 2015 12:49 am
sasha_feather: Cindi Mayweather (janelle monae) (Cindi Mayweather)
1. I've really enjoyed seeing my pals lately. I went to the cheap seats to see Mad Max (for the 3rd time); saw some friends and acquaintances at Comics Club today, and saw the film Mr. Holmes yesterday. Gabby is back in town which is great.

2. I got an awesome haircut which was a collaboration between Jesse and my neighbor Devyn, both of whom own clippers.

3. I read Seconds by Bryan Lee O'Malley and loved it. It features a talented, flawed woman as the main character. Katie is the main chef at a successful restaurant called Seconds, where she also lives. She wants to strike out on her own with a new restaurant, but is having trouble with that venture. Her ex-boyfriend is hanging around and things are awkward. When a young co-worker gets in an accident, party due to Katie's negligence, a house spirit appears and gives her the opportunity to fix it. Katie then gets addicted to fixing all the mistakes she can, and things start to go bad. This book is funny, charming, affecting. I loved it.
sasha_feather: Janelle Monae against a blue background (Janelle monae)
I read a few books and comics about black history lately. I recommend all of these. This are all fairly easy from a reading-level standpoint and are suitable for middle-grade readers and up.

Bayard Rustin: The Invisible Activist by Jacqueline Houtman, Walter Naegle, and Michael G. Long.

An openly gay black man in the 30s, 40s, and later, Rustin was a Quaker peace activist. He was the main organizer of the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom. He also worked to integrate buses in North Carolina 8 years before Rosa Parks, and for that he spent 3 weeks on a chain gang. He was a talented singer, speaker, and organizer, who also protested against nuclear testing. This book is a quick read and beautifully done.

March: books 1 and 2 by John Lewis, Andrew Aydin, Nate Powell.

Beautiful and interesting comics about John Lewis' life as an activist. The first book is about his early life growing up on a farm in GA, and working as a college student to integrate lunch counters in Nashville. The second book is about the Freedom Riders, which was pretty intense, and the March on Washington. The third book is forthcoming.

Strange Fruit vol 1: Uncelebrated Narratives from Black History by Joel Christian Gill

Vignettes about black people (mostly men) from the 18th, 19th, and 20th centuries. Includes the man who was the inspiration for the Lone Ranger; the Black Cyclone (a competitive bicyclist); and a chess master. Some stories are sad, some are funny, some are inspiring. My favorite part is the sly, off-beat humor. For example, when a boy's parents send him off on a train trip, a sign declares the platform as 9 3/4.
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
Last week [personal profile] jesse_the_k and I went out shopping to a store we like where we know a number of the staff members. Jesse took her walker rather than wheelchair, principally because it is easier for me to drive and load the walker in my car, than it is to load the wheelchair into the minivan.

One thing that happened as we were leaving the store is the staff person said to Jesse, "It's nice to see you up," as in upright, not using the wheelchair.

This is a microaggression.

First, the assumption that an acquaintance or even stranger has the right to comment on your assistive tech, on your presumed health status, on your body-- that you would even want to know what some stranger thinks. But people do this all the time and they think it's a good thing. They think it's welcome praise, that is a nice fuzzy compliment.

They think it's praise because they value being upright and walking over using a wheelchair, even though it is a value-neutral distinction. It may be better for you and your self-care to use to the wheelchair, but hardly anyone will praise you for that. You should use what will work best for you, cause you the least pain, not what society values.

They think it's praise because they think it's an improvement in health status. This demonstrates an incomplete and failed knowledge of chronic illness, mobility impairments, and assistive tech. Many people who use assistive tech use that tech occasionally or periodically, and again, it is value-neutral to do so. Diseases get worse and they get incompletely better. It happens. And sometimes you use the tech for more practical reasons that have nothing to do with your disease/impairments, but rather to do with the barriers that exist in society. Maybe walkers or walking sticks are easier in the airport than your wheelchair is, for example, even though the wheelchair is more comfortable. Maybe you don't want to risk the airport damaging or losing your expensive and valuable wheelchair. Maybe you'd use your wheelchair all the time if society didn't suck so much.


Jul. 2nd, 2015 10:39 pm
sasha_feather: "The heroine's achivement of autonomy and self-actualization was the point of the narrative" (heroine)
I am taking a water Ai Chi class. It is in a warm water pool and the other people in the class are mostly older women. I am by far the youngest person in the class; I don't feel uncomfortable about this though. I like hanging around with older women anyways. It sort of feels like "my mom's friends" age-wise. The movements are very gentle, constantly moving. They focus on deep breathing, range of motion, and balance. It's just my speed, really, because when I've tried things like yoga, it hurts too much to do the movements. This class is challenging, more so than I expected it to be, but doesn't hurt too much. In fact the teacher encourages us not to push through pain, and it's easier to take that advice in a class like this which is aimed at people with mobility issues, than it would be in a standard class.

Sometimes--often-- my internalized ableism tells me that I should be able to do more. After all, I can walk at the dog park, do household chores, drive, etc. But when I'm in this class and focusing on my body, it tunes me in more to how much pain I have and how much I am trying to ignore it all the time. And that takes tons of energy. It's exhausting. Chronic illness reduces your stamina, plus coping with chronic illness takes work.

I have really high standards and expectations for myself, and I should remember to be easier on myself because my life is not exactly easy.
sasha_feather: furiosa holding a gun, showing her metal arm (furiosa arm)
I seen a few people praising this exchange from Arnold's facebook page. The photo is: He changed his user icon (an image of himself as the Terminator) to the rainbow-overlay, which many folks are doing.

A commenter says: "What's wrong with you Arnie? I have to unlike."

Arnold replies: "Hasta la vista."

I get it, people think this is funny. A lot of people probably don't know that Schwarzenegger blocked same-sex marriage in California when he was governor. He did so using his veto power not once, but twice.

This is no secret and not that obscure; for example, George Takei has spoken of Schwarzenegger's homophobic policies as part of his motivation for coming out publicly.

Links for sources (thanks eruthros)


Jun. 18th, 2015 10:38 pm
sasha_feather: Cindi Mayweather (janelle monae) (Cindi Mayweather)
Really enjoyed "Spy" starring Melissa McCarthy and Miranda Hart (Chummy from Call the Midwife). See if if you can! Lots of women, massive Bechdel pass, very funny all the way through.

content notes: small things )
sasha_feather: Furiosa at night (Furiosa at night)
I tried to watch the film "RED" the other day but turned it off just a few minutes in. The protagonist Frank, played by Bruce Willis, is shown to be a super-capable ex-CIA agent. He has a flirtatious relationship with Sarah, whom he talks to on the phone, played by Mary-Louise Parker, and he makes vague plans to meet her in Kansas City. Killers invade Frank's home one night, and he has no problem deftly dispatching them.
discussion of creepy tropes )
Does anyone know if this trope has a name? It is super gross and annoying. It is hard enough having boundaries in life and saying no, and telling people to buzz off, etc, without stories like these which present positive portrayals of abusive situations.

Contrast to Mad Max:

spoilers )

comments welcome


sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)

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