sasha_feather: horses grazing on a hill with thunderheads (horses and lightning)
Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2018, er, 2016) is on Hulu. It's a New Zealand film about a kid, Ricky, who is in the foster system and goes to live on a farm with an older couple, Bella and Hector. Bella is loving and exuberant; Hector (Sam Neill) is standoffish. Ricky is settling in and starting to be happy, when Bella suddenly dies. A letter comes saying Ricky will have to go back into foster care. He decides to run away into the Bush. Hector comes after him, but neither really want to go back to society, so with one thing and another, they spend five months in the bush, encountering wildlife and eccentric people. They evade the authorities and become minor celebrities.

This film is at turns hilarious and poignant, with real heart all the way through. Ricky shines as a fat, Maori kid who likes rap and haiku and reading-- a misfit looking for acceptance. Hector is also a misfit and their scenes together were wonderful. It's quirky and the landscapes are gorgeous.

I loved this film, laughed my butt off, and will watch again.

content notes )
sasha_feather: Big book of Lesbian Horse stories book cover (lesbian horse stories)
1. what are the words you do not have yet? [Or, “for what do you not have words, yet?”]

Those things that are small traumas, "it's not really a trauma but"; like microagressions but not so micro.

More words for coming out: are you coming out to yourself? to others? Are you in the long process of de-brainwashing yourself? Are you still de-brainwashing yourself after years and years? Do you hear a song on the radio, a love song without any gender specified, and assume it's about straight people?

More words like "Hangry", which is a good word; I'm cranky because I'm hungry, I'm cranky because I'm in pain; I'm cranky because....

More words for different kinds of love. Love is love doesn't work for me. I like distinctions and nuance. Love for the world; love for nature; love for friends; love for fandom; sudden and gradual loves; ones that fade and ones that endure. And what are things that help make love happen? What are those things?

Words for surviving, for getting through, for recovering, for dealing with shit that you have to do but can barely get yourself to do.

And more words for physical, chronic pain, which is so boring, and so difficult to describe.
sasha_feather: Cindi Mayweather (janelle monae) (Cindi Mayweather)
Saw this on Tumblr and posting it here as a writing / blogging challenge:

The Audre Lorde questionnaire to oneself.

1. what are the words you do not have yet? [Or, “for what do you not have words, yet?”]

2. What do you need to say? [list as many things as necessary]

3. What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence? [List as many as necessary today. Then write a new list tomorrow. And the day after.]

4 If we have been socialized to respect fear more than our own need for language, ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen to me if I tell this truth?” [so, answer this today. and everyday.]
sasha_feather: white woman in space suit (Astronaut)
Seen on Tumblr, posted by chameleonchild:

"Being chronically ill and having to stay at home a lot doesn’t mean I have more free time. The chronic illness occupies that and the rest of my time."

Bit of an "aha" moment for me.
sasha_feather: sirius black from harry potter films (sirius black)
I have never in my life owned a console gaming system. That has changed today!

At St. Vinny's yesterday stood a whole shelf full of Xbox 360s. I bought one for 35 dollars. With a few games I spent about 50 dollars, including controller and cord. The first one was faulty, so I went back today and exchanged it, and this one seems to work. My roommate and I just tried out Lego Harry Potter, which is silly and fun.

I have found over the last few years that gaming is a great way to cope with pain and fatigue. Sometimes it's the only thing I have energy for, or the only thing that can really take my mind off my pain. Some games are too technically hard or require too much dexterity, or are too stressful. Ones that I really enjoy are silly and not overly difficult.

I'm super excited!! We are still figuring a few things out and I need to get an extra controller yet. Happy new year to me!
sasha_feather: sirius black from harry potter films (sirius black)
Films:
MOONLIGHT omg sublime
Arrival
Ghostbusters 2016
Rogue One
Zootopia

TV:
Luke Cage
Stranger Things
Brooklyn 99
Elementary
@midnight
Yuri!! on Ice

Books:
Saga by Vaughn and Staples
TJ and Amal by E.K. Weaver
O Human Star! by Blue Dellaquanti
Lab Girl by Hope Jahren
March book 3 by John Lewis et al

Games:
Stardew Valley
Gone Home
Children of Ur
Candy Crush
Hexels http://benhardy.github.io/hexels/

Personal/social:
Walking at the dog park
[personal profile] were_duck's baby, the bleb
Visiting and having lunch with [personal profile] jesse_the_k
Visiting my parents on the farm; seeing family members over Labor Day weekend
My dog park friend got a kidney from his daughter
Making up with and walking with my friend R.
I had a sort of emotional fling (as opposed to a physical fling); which fizzled out but was fun while it lasted, this happened last winter.
I saw [personal profile] anna_bird for the first time in years!
Visited with many friends at WisCon
Gardening and hanging out with my roommate
Comics Club!
Socializing with old friends, and making new twitter friends
2 of my friends got their surgeries funded using social media!

Work and creative:
Volunteering at the humane society
Starting a fan vid! And perhaps more importantly, starting a fan vid club!
I posted one fic on the Ao3 this year (nsfw), and I think it's probably my best fic, idk.
As always, I enjoyed taking pictures and posting them to Flickr!
Meeting with the Anti-Abuse sub-committee for WisCon
Lots of health work, most of which is tedious, except for water bending class which is fun.

ETA:
I also read a lot of fanfic. The standout ones are:
Stuck on the Puzzle by the spectaclesofthor

Known Associates by thingswithwings

Ain't No Grave by spitandvinegar
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
Been away for a week! Not planning to catch up on social media.

I saw Rogue One and enjoyed it. I did start to get a headache (due to driving too long, probably) while watching it, which definitely reduced my enjoyment. The last act was excellent and reminded me of

possible spoilers )

My parents and I have picked up the American Jewish tradition of going to a film on Christmas day. A lot of other people seem to be doing this; we've run into neighbors at the theater and there was a decent crowd. It's a great tradition, but I wish the studios would release more happy, upbeat films to coincide with the holiday. Last year we saw Concussion, this year we saw Fences. Neither of these were particularly happy films. We would have loved to see Hidden Figures, but it doesn't come out for another week.

I don't know what I thought of "Fences." It was very much a play put on film. As a story about a family with problems, it wasn't really my kind of thing. But the cast and performances were excellent.

My dad and I watched a couple of episodes of "Vikings" on cable, but found it to be too violent for our tastes.
sasha_feather: Big book of Lesbian Horse stories book cover (lesbian horse stories)
Yesterday as I was driving to the Humane Society for my volunteer shift, I saw a cop car pulled over on the bridge over the highway. I glanced over to see two officers with their arms spread wide, making that classic herding gesture. In between them was a goose. Not a common Canada goose, but a light brown and white, beautiful goose. I laughed aloud and figured they'd be going to the same place as me. When animal control or the police pick up strays, they bring them to the humane society.

A few minutes after I'd started my shift, I saw one of the officers walk in. I was the only person sitting up front at that moment so I asked if I could help him.

"Yeah, I have a... duck? Goose?" he said. "It's in the back of my vehicle." I imagine it's one of the stranger things this officer had done.

I went and got someone and it turns out the goose was a domestic, barnyard goose that had gone astray. She seemed quite calm. How she ended up on the bridge over the highway is a complete mystery. Now she is safely ensconced in the barn at the humane society. After a stray hold period she will be up for adoption.
sasha_feather: white woman in space suit (Astronaut)
Possibly overdid it today.

Started my new shift at Humane society, which will be Tuesday 1-3, sorting donations. Really liked the woman doing orientation, and enjoyed the shift. She explained things well and was friendly. She told me a little about her former job (before she retired) which was doing labor audits, investigating things like overtime and child labor violations.

I went to the vet to pick up more Apoquel for Abbie (this helps her allergies).
Next I stopped at the post office and waited in line about 20 minutes to mail a couple of things.

I forgot about swimming until I got home, and decided I would lay down for a few minutes before hand. Well, I fell right asleep and slept right through swim class. I'd set an alarm but turned it off. Abbie woke me up to go out a while later, at which point I watched a little TV and changed into my PJs.

Even after being sick for years, it's very difficult to gauge my energy. I'm hoping by writing down my activities I'll get a better idea.

It is very cold today; I'm grateful for central heating and indoor plumbing and warm wool clothes. I think about our ancestors surviving this weather (and worse) and I think about homeless people.
sasha_feather: white woman in space suit (Astronaut)
It's gotten cold, and there's something exciting about the wind and the snow, the bundling up and layering yourself, fortying yourself against the cold, lacing your boots, doing up your zippers, tying your scarf. The feeling we're all in it together, us against the cold.

[personal profile] jesse_the_k gave me Carhartt overalls in blue-gray. They are everything. I put them on over my jeans and liners, put on my wool sweater and coat, hat and mittens, two pairs of socks and boots, and I was almost too warm for my night dog walk with my friend R. Abbie wore all her layers too.

The dry cold air is not great for my sinuses and breathing, but what are you gonna do. At the pool on Tuesday, the warm humid air was a blessing.

Uh huh

Dec. 3rd, 2016 11:50 pm
sasha_feather: Daredevil in a suit (Daredevil)
Today my roommate had a party for her birthday. It was lovely; it involved reading books and passages from books out loud to the group. Some were children's books. Someone read from Alice in Wonderland; we passed around a book of tongue twisters by Dr. Suess.

Someone brought a joke book, Plato and Platypus walk into a bar: understanding philosophy through jokes. At first I thought, what a good idea, a joke book! But in a mixed group that don't know each other well, in the afternoon-- maybe not.

One of the jokes made me very clearly feel like the only queer person in the room.

An old cowboy goes into a bar and orders a drink. As he sits
there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sits down next to him. She
turns to the cowboy and asks him, “Are you a real cowboy?”

He replies, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch, herding
horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am.”
She says, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about
women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about
women. When I shower or watch TV, everything seems to make
me think of women.”

A little while later, a couple sits down next to the old cowboy
and asks him, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replies, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a
lesbian.”
(this is directly quoted from the PDF of the book

Interesting, the woman who brought this book also told a joke involving engineers, and said before she told that one she surveyed the room for who is an engineer to see who the joke would affect. Uh huh.

p.s. I don't feel well today; not sure what it is but dang
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
If you are interested in the general strike on January 20th (anti-inauguration day), here are some things I thought of that would be useful:

Make flyers to advertise it to non-internet people. Print, distribute, and hang flyers.
Make a press release and send the release to friendly newspapers and periodicals.
Buy ad space and/or write articles and blog posts.
Contact your local unions to see if they are interested.
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
I went to a rock and mineral show today. My mom asked me what was the coolest thing I saw. I said, the people. Perhaps I should have just planted myself in a chair and watched people go by. Old guys, hipsters, long beards, a kid in a minion costume, a young lady with purple hair using a wheelchair and digging through a box of rocks, men with jewelry and fanny packs, a guy in a dirty shirt busting open geodes. A guy named Karsten whose store is called "Karstones". It felt like a Sci Fi convention, a bit, but just dealers, info tables, and maybe 2-3 demos.

I feel overwhelmingly exhausted today. My knees and ankles hurt. And my face. Iced my knees this evening. Tried to read but couldn't concentrated; watching TV instead.

Oh and I think I left my phone charger in Minnesota UGH.

Grateful for netflix, hulu, and my roommate's cooking, and wool sweaters.
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
I dreamt that I had renewed my passport and eaten the old one for some reason, maybe for security. But then I thoughtlessly ate a page of the new one, the page with the most important information on it, and so I'd have to renew it again.

LWC talked about, it feels as if someone has died. It feels as if our hopes and dreams have died. Many of us feared that Obama, our first black president, would be assassinated. Instead it feel like they have assassinated the possibility of a future, the possibility of a second black president, of a Muslim president, of a queer or woman president, of safety, of progress.

Jesse talked about generational trauma. The fears and warnings of her mother ringing in her head. Talking to an ignorant financial planner about the dangers of the FBI; about how the Nazi party came to power.

TWW talked about how fleeing is a fantasy. Furiosa, she dreams of escaping to the green place. But it does not exist. She gathers allies and draws her enemies away and returns to retake the Citadel.

What can we do, as chronically ill people? We are often not people who can plan and lead marches. We generally cannot work long hours. Many of us have trouble with phone calls due to anxiety. Many of us are poor and cannot donate or purchase supplies.

Here's what we can do.
Link sharing of important information.
Emotional labor, such as telling people we care for them, leaving supportive comments, linking to cute animal pictures and music.
Listening to people's troubles. Using Skype and calling our friends. Sometimes you understand something so much better when you describe it to someone else; you can think through a problem when you talk to someone.
Sending packages or notes in the mail.
Producing fanfic, fanworks, art, etc. Journaling. Creating. Letting our voices be heard. Reminding the world that we exist.
Wearing buttons-- making ourselves and our positions visible to the world.
Starting conversations. Being allies as best we can.
Sharing what resources and skills we have. For instance cooking, proof reading, pet sitting.
Take care of ourselves and each other, because survival is essential. Remind others to do self-care. Affix your own oxygen mask before assisting others.

Dreamwidth comms of note:
[community profile] spoonlessactivists
[community profile] thisfinecrew
sasha_feather: Amelie, white woman with dark hair, smiling cheerfully (Amelie)
Nico and I went to see the film "Moonlight" last night. It was so, so amazing. I would rank it as one of the best films I've ever seen.

Recommended if you like coming of age films, films about queer people, good writing, good cinematography, good acting, stories that have a strong sense of place, films that feature people of color, Janelle Monae, Mahershala Ali.

content notes under the cut.
Read more... )
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
"Pitch" was hard to watch this week; it centered on Ginny's friendships. In her life friendship is tenuous. People move away or get traded to other teams. It's the nature of her profession.

spoilers for ep ...5 i think )

eta to expand and unlock

I'm so grateful for the frienships I've been able to maintain that seem to be able to last despite distance and circumstance and the friend getting married, etc; and social media seems to help a lot. A whole lot. I mean, having friends on the internet means that your friends go with you wherever the internet is, which is a lot of places. You take your internet friends with you when you travel or when you move. They are available all the time, if you don't mind waiting a little while for a reply. You can Skype or google chat. You can send each other funny memes. You can find friends with your strange, particular interests. Anyways, here's to you, internet friends!
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
I am taking my computer in for service so I will likely be offline for a few days. See ya'll later!
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
--Dried mango
--Trail mix
--The marshy area I drive by on the way back from the pharmacy. Sometimes it looks very wild and alien
--Internet friends
--Netflix
--Fanfic

hahahh

Oct. 23rd, 2016 05:46 pm
sasha_feather: Big book of Lesbian Horse stories book cover (lesbian horse stories)
I have several very nice, older-than-me friends at the dog park, many of whom are about the age of my parents. Today I ran into one of them who was walking with her friend, let's call them Ann and Sue (not their real names). Ann explained that she is moving and her new place isn't ready yet, so she is staying with Sue.

"It's really nice," said Ann. "like having a wife."

There was an awkward pause. "Except better, because... you know... she's my friend."

I had also run into Ann downtown on the day same-sex marriage was legalized and people were getting married in front of the city-county building. Ann was similarly awkward and funny during that encounter, complimenting some young man's funny t-shirt (I don't remember what it said) but then going "I mean... I'm not gay". He charmingly said back, "Oh don't worry honey, it's not catching."

Ann also mentioned today that she'd gone to a Joan Baez concert. When she mentioned it to her young employees, they had no idea who Joan Baez is. I said, oh yeah, I only know because my mom's a big fan. Ann and Sue both made faces at that.
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
When I was a kid I had a long bus ride. A consequence of living in the country-- the school bus wound around the roads picking up the rural kids. I complained once to my mom that the trip was boring. She told me that if I looked carefully, I'd notice something new every day.

I live a quiet and careful life (to quote Anna Altman in Every Body Goes Haywire, and sometimes it's a boring and lonely life. But I notice something different every day. The change of the seasons and flowers blooming. New dogs at the park.

I had lunch today with [personal profile] jesse_the_k and we watched some animated short films. She wrote about it here.

my thoughts on one of the films )

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