Uh huh

Dec. 3rd, 2016 11:50 pm
sasha_feather: Daredevil in a suit (Daredevil)
Today my roommate had a party for her birthday. It was lovely; it involved reading books and passages from books out loud to the group. Some were children's books. Someone read from Alice in Wonderland; we passed around a book of tongue twisters by Dr. Suess.

Someone brought a joke book, Plato and Platypus walk into a bar: understanding philosophy through jokes. At first I thought, what a good idea, a joke book! But in a mixed group that don't know each other well, in the afternoon-- maybe not.

One of the jokes made me very clearly feel like the only queer person in the room.

An old cowboy goes into a bar and orders a drink. As he sits
there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sits down next to him. She
turns to the cowboy and asks him, “Are you a real cowboy?”

He replies, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch, herding
horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am.”
She says, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about
women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about
women. When I shower or watch TV, everything seems to make
me think of women.”

A little while later, a couple sits down next to the old cowboy
and asks him, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replies, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a
(this is directly quoted from the PDF of the book

Interesting, the woman who brought this book also told a joke involving engineers, and said before she told that one she surveyed the room for who is an engineer to see who the joke would affect. Uh huh.

p.s. I don't feel well today; not sure what it is but dang
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
If you are interested in the general strike on January 20th (anti-inauguration day), here are some things I thought of that would be useful:

Make flyers to advertise it to non-internet people. Print, distribute, and hang flyers.
Make a press release and send the release to friendly newspapers and periodicals.
Buy ad space and/or write articles and blog posts.
Contact your local unions to see if they are interested.
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
I went to a rock and mineral show today. My mom asked me what was the coolest thing I saw. I said, the people. Perhaps I should have just planted myself in a chair and watched people go by. Old guys, hipsters, long beards, a kid in a minion costume, a young lady with purple hair using a wheelchair and digging through a box of rocks, men with jewelry and fanny packs, a guy in a dirty shirt busting open geodes. A guy named Karsten whose store is called "Karstones". It felt like a Sci Fi convention, a bit, but just dealers, info tables, and maybe 2-3 demos.

I feel overwhelmingly exhausted today. My knees and ankles hurt. And my face. Iced my knees this evening. Tried to read but couldn't concentrated; watching TV instead.

Oh and I think I left my phone charger in Minnesota UGH.

Grateful for netflix, hulu, and my roommate's cooking, and wool sweaters.
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
I dreamt that I had renewed my passport and eaten the old one for some reason, maybe for security. But then I thoughtlessly ate a page of the new one, the page with the most important information on it, and so I'd have to renew it again.

LWC talked about, it feels as if someone has died. It feels as if our hopes and dreams have died. Many of us feared that Obama, our first black president, would be assassinated. Instead it feel like they have assassinated the possibility of a future, the possibility of a second black president, of a Muslim president, of a queer or woman president, of safety, of progress.

Jesse talked about generational trauma. The fears and warnings of her mother ringing in her head. Talking to an ignorant financial planner about the dangers of the FBI; about how the Nazi party came to power.

TWW talked about how fleeing is a fantasy. Furiosa, she dreams of escaping to the green place. But it does not exist. She gathers allies and draws her enemies away and returns to retake the Citadel.

What can we do, as chronically ill people? We are often not people who can plan and lead marches. We generally cannot work long hours. Many of us have trouble with phone calls due to anxiety. Many of us are poor and cannot donate or purchase supplies.

Here's what we can do.
Link sharing of important information.
Emotional labor, such as telling people we care for them, leaving supportive comments, linking to cute animal pictures and music.
Listening to people's troubles. Using Skype and calling our friends. Sometimes you understand something so much better when you describe it to someone else; you can think through a problem when you talk to someone.
Sending packages or notes in the mail.
Producing fanfic, fanworks, art, etc. Journaling. Creating. Letting our voices be heard. Reminding the world that we exist.
Wearing buttons-- making ourselves and our positions visible to the world.
Starting conversations. Being allies as best we can.
Sharing what resources and skills we have. For instance cooking, proof reading, pet sitting.
Take care of ourselves and each other, because survival is essential. Remind others to do self-care. Affix your own oxygen mask before assisting others.

Dreamwidth comms of note:
[community profile] spoonlessactivists
[community profile] thisfinecrew
sasha_feather: Amelie, white woman with dark hair, smiling cheerfully (Amelie)
Nico and I went to see the film "Moonlight" last night. It was so, so amazing. I would rank it as one of the best films I've ever seen.

Recommended if you like coming of age films, films about queer people, good writing, good cinematography, good acting, stories that have a strong sense of place, films that feature people of color, Janelle Monae, Mahershala Ali.

content notes under the cut.
Read more... )
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
"Pitch" was hard to watch this week; it centered on Ginny's friendships. In her life friendship is tenuous. People move away or get traded to other teams. It's the nature of her profession.

spoilers for ep ...5 i think )

eta to expand and unlock

I'm so grateful for the frienships I've been able to maintain that seem to be able to last despite distance and circumstance and the friend getting married, etc; and social media seems to help a lot. A whole lot. I mean, having friends on the internet means that your friends go with you wherever the internet is, which is a lot of places. You take your internet friends with you when you travel or when you move. They are available all the time, if you don't mind waiting a little while for a reply. You can Skype or google chat. You can send each other funny memes. You can find friends with your strange, particular interests. Anyways, here's to you, internet friends!
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
I am taking my computer in for service so I will likely be offline for a few days. See ya'll later!
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
--Dried mango
--Trail mix
--The marshy area I drive by on the way back from the pharmacy. Sometimes it looks very wild and alien
--Internet friends


Oct. 23rd, 2016 05:46 pm
sasha_feather: Big book of Lesbian Horse stories book cover (lesbian horse stories)
I have several very nice, older-than-me friends at the dog park, many of whom are about the age of my parents. Today I ran into one of them who was walking with her friend, let's call them Ann and Sue (not their real names). Ann explained that she is moving and her new place isn't ready yet, so she is staying with Sue.

"It's really nice," said Ann. "like having a wife."

There was an awkward pause. "Except better, because... you know... she's my friend."

I had also run into Ann downtown on the day same-sex marriage was legalized and people were getting married in front of the city-county building. Ann was similarly awkward and funny during that encounter, complimenting some young man's funny t-shirt (I don't remember what it said) but then going "I mean... I'm not gay". He charmingly said back, "Oh don't worry honey, it's not catching."

Ann also mentioned today that she'd gone to a Joan Baez concert. When she mentioned it to her young employees, they had no idea who Joan Baez is. I said, oh yeah, I only know because my mom's a big fan. Ann and Sue both made faces at that.
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
When I was a kid I had a long bus ride. A consequence of living in the country-- the school bus wound around the roads picking up the rural kids. I complained once to my mom that the trip was boring. She told me that if I looked carefully, I'd notice something new every day.

I live a quiet and careful life (to quote Anna Altman in Every Body Goes Haywire, and sometimes it's a boring and lonely life. But I notice something different every day. The change of the seasons and flowers blooming. New dogs at the park.

I had lunch today with [personal profile] jesse_the_k and we watched some animated short films. She wrote about it here.

my thoughts on one of the films )
sasha_feather: white woman in space suit (Astronaut)
A read a fanfic, Soulmate Theory for Dummies, by piffle, where Bucky is a plant hoarder like I am and has a cat.

There are a lot of plants, he admits silently, his eyes traveling over all the variously shaped leaves, just to make sure Stark didn’t touch anything. He still likes them, and doesn’t think he’ll ever give them up. They were the first living things he’d been able to lay his hands on after leaving HYDRA, the first things he hadn’t destroyed, and he’s grown fond of them since, adding to their number whenever he happens across one that he doesn’t already own.

He doesn't take anything toxic to cats. I think eventually he'll get a dog, so nothing toxic to pets generally.

I imagine he starts out with:
African Violet
Spider Plants (inspired by Black Widow; easy to grow) (Chlorophytum comosum)
Boston Fern
Burro's Tail (Sedum morganianum)
Friendship plant (Pilea involucrata)
Ghost Plant (Secum weinbergii) (because he's a ghost get it)
Wax plant (Hoya carnosa)

pictures )
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
To help myself fall asleep I told myself a story about two queer dragon riders and their dragons.

Dragon 1 is Iris and her rider is Avery. They do search and rescue and Iris got injured protecting Avery from a rock fall and lost her right wing.

Dragon 2 is Tailwind. Her rider is Geneva. They are an engineer pair who come to the hospital to consult on making a prosthetic wing for Iris.

I don't know if I have the energy to write this story but I'm enjoying thinking about it.

TV shows

Oct. 10th, 2016 10:18 pm
sasha_feather: Daredevil in a suit (Daredevil)
Inspired by kuwdora, here is some of what I'm watching lately:

A quiz-style comedy show with guests and internet prompts. There is the occasional offensive joke (based on joking about diabetes or something else tasteless); but overall it's well done if a bit on the rude side. Sometimes I laugh my butt off which is what I need. I watch this on Hulu.

I've watched the first three eps on Hulu, and I'm in love. Ginny Baker is the first woman to play in the major leagues. She's a pitcher for the San Diego Padres. All the characters are nuanced and each episode has a theme that is explored. The pilot focuses on Ginny's first games and her relationship with her father. The second ep focuses on Ginny being in the spotlight of celebrity, and her relationship with her agent. The third ep focuses on how she wants to be treated as a ballplayer first, and how she's had to fight for that.

Luke Cage
was AMAZING. So refreshing. I don't have a lot to say about it just yet.

This was cheesy and had bad writing at times, but there were some things I just loved. I loved the relationships between women, and how every episode passed the Bechdel test. Cat Grant is a terrific, hilarious character. Kara's earnest desire to do good, and her belief in other people's goodness, is wonderful to watch. The show improved over the course of season one.

Nurse Jackie
I got to mid-season 3 and stopped watching because it was giving me bad dreams. :/
sasha_feather: horses grazing on a hill with thunderheads (horses and lightning)

[Abbie, a black greyhound with a gray face, looking alert. She has a dusky pink bowtie around her neck.]
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
A simple coin toss
But it landed on the edge
An infinite space
sasha_feather: Cindi Mayweather (janelle monae) (Cindi Mayweather)
--She wears the MOST amazing outfits. Classy and fashionable and still comfortable looking.
--She is devoted to her work, but has changed careers twice, going from being a surgeon to a sober companion to a detective.
--She likes to sleep in. We often see Sherlock waking her up and she's clearly not a morning person.
--Brilliant in several ways, and calls Sherlock on his BS. I love watching their relationship evolve
--She's single for most of the time we see her. When struggling with whether to pursue a monogamous relationship and get more serious with her boyfriend, Sherlock advises her not to; that she is not made for that kind of relationships and that she's more interesting as she is. Both Joan and Sherlock are misfits. Their families and even their friends don't always understand them.
--She follows her instincts, and is sometimes wrong. She moves forward.

n.b. I haven't seen the more recent episdoes of Elementary because I'm ~~saving~~ them.
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
*I'm trying out lowering my topomax dose from 75 mg to 50.

*The weather is cooler thank goodness.

*I survived a large family gathering over Labor Day.

*I called Building inspection for city of Madison; a guy is coming tomorrow to look at the AC unit.

*Forgot to link it here-- I wrote a blog post at WordPress about working on anti-harassment for WisCon; in response to Jim Hine's io9 article. He RTed it so it got a fair number of hits!

*I'm reading a long DA:I fanfic called "Stuck in the Puzzle". I don't know this fandom at all, but the fic is really good so far.

*New photos of the dog:
sasha_feather: Amelie, white woman with dark hair, smiling cheerfully (Amelie)
Captain Phillips
This was even more racist than I expected. I mean I think the movie makers were *trying* to make a story about an "ordinary" guy who keeps a cool head in a tough situation. But what I saw was that there is a huge mobilization of the American military (a Navy ship, helicopters, SEALS, etc) to save this one white dude from people who are in a desperate struggle. I would have liked to see some more de-escalation techniques, more nuance when it came to the pirates and their reasoning, more contextualization of their lives. Instead we see wealthy white heroes and poor black antagonists... sigh.

I loved this to pieces. The story of 6 journalists from the Boston Globe who broke the story of the Catholic abuse scandal in 2001-2002. This film handles a tough subject in a sensitive and intelligent way. It's empowering in that it makes you believe in jouralism and the free press-- although the journalists struggle and encounter barriers, the first amendment is on their side and they are able to succeed. This film is chilling, subtle; highly recommended.
content note: detailed discussions of child sex abuse (not portrayed on screen)

Cradle will rock
Loved this ensemble film about the federal theater company in the 1930s. A playwright creates a musical about a union struggle in a steel town. Meanwhile Rockefeller hires Diego Rivera to paint a mural in his lobby. Congress investigates the theater company regarding concerns of communism. Orson Welles dreams up production designs. Super fun and inspiring.
Content note: brief scene of police violence against protestors
sasha_feather: Cindi Mayweather (janelle monae) (Cindi Mayweather)
Sometimes people think they have to choose between social model of disability and medical model: all one or all the other. I believe they work best in concert. Neither model explains the entirety of the experience of disease, illness, and impairment-- perhaps nothing ever will because these experiences are so complex and involve both individual and community experiences, and the many vagaries of our human bodies.

I think that all categorization and models break down with enough analysis... our human understanding of the universe is ultimately quite poor. We stumble in the dark. We stare at shadows on the wall of a cave.
But. We can try.

The social model works for me largely because medicine has failed; there seems to be little to nothing that medicine can do for my pain and fatigue. There are no medicines beyond caffiene that treat fatigue; and I've tried many many things for pain with little benefit. What helps me most are lifestyle interventions: resting a lot, essentially. Reducing my stress way, way down. Very gentle exercise. And when I read about the social model and disability activism I feel validated, comforted, more secure. I feel my world become wider. I feel a connection to others.

Trying to pursue medical interventions feels like exercise in failure. I do go to the doctor but mostly it's to make sure nothing worse is happening to me, rather than to try and get better.

I do think that most disabled people visit the doctor and believe in the medical model to an extent: we have to deal with doctors and providers to get needed medicines and therapies. We must believe in them as a matter of survival.

I'm trained as a scientist and I worked in medicine for a long time. I understand the limits and the benefits of this realm.

What I don't see enough of, is the medical field embracing-- or even knowing about-- the social model. It would be so interesting to see what could happen if practioners listened to disabled people and learned from our expertise.

When I worked in a hospital I noticed that universal design was (perhaps ironically) apparent there, because injured and ill people are normal in a hospital setting. So there is abundant signage. People are encouraged to use the elevators, and the elevators are big enough to fit wheelchairs and gurneys. There are places to sit and rest at the ends of corridors. Doctors offices, on the other hand, even my pain clinic (!) still seem comitted to using bright fluorescent lights. And of course the standards are different for staff versus patients, even though staff memebers certainly may be disabled as well.

--You don't have to choose between the medical and social model
--The medical world could stand to learn some things from the social model and from activists


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