tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-25:123820Horses are good company -- The WitcherYou never can take the fight out of the fish --Dessasasha_feather2020-04-21T01:27:39Ztag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-25:123820:1218474"Why do you write like you're running out of time?"2020-04-21T01:27:30Z2020-04-21T01:27:39Zpublic5I was about 18 and working at the county fair as the "poultry superintendent" which means I organized the 4-H poultry show and served as a resource for questions. One of the other volunteers was a woman about my mom's age, super nice but I don't remember her name right now. We were talking about being shy and she said, "give yourself ten years." This was really good advice. I encountered other people around that time who said they were formerly shy but it got better as they got older. Indeed, this happened to me. Sometimes, I consciously worked on my social skills. Other times, I just had to wait out my anxiety to a certain extent. <br /><br /><span class="cut-wrapper"><span style="display: none;" id="span-cuttag___1" class="cuttag"></span><b class="cut-open">( </b><b class="cut-text"><a href="https://sasha-feather.dreamwidth.org/1218474.html#cutid1">content note discussion of death</a></b><b class="cut-close"> )</b></span><div style="display: none;" id="div-cuttag___1" aria-live="assertive"></div><br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=sasha_feather&ditemid=1218474" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-25:123820:1050446Time is a feminist and disability issue2017-01-08T01:30:37Z2017-01-08T01:30:53Zpublic4Seen on Tumblr, posted by chameleonchild:<br /><br />"Being chronically ill and having to stay at home a lot doesn’t mean I have more free time. The chronic illness occupies that and the rest of my time."<br /><br />Bit of an "aha" moment for me.<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=sasha_feather&ditemid=1050446" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> commentstag:dreamwidth.org,2009-04-25:123820:101145410 years of journaling2015-10-11T23:41:14Z2015-10-11T23:41:22Zpublic4Oct 10 2005 <br />I had a lovely weekend at home. It involved a night-time chicken-catching expedition: picture Sasha crawling around on a haystack, wearing an odd assortment of warmish clothes, clutching a flashlight in one hand and prowling for sleepy chickens. We gave a few hens away to a kid who wanted some (for his birthday) to round out his flock. My weekend also involved fun digital photography, banana bread, fudge, chinese take-out, clothes-shopping with mom, and general recovery and escape. Ack, I want to move back home.<br /><br />Oct 11 2006<br />Some of my favorite science fiction and fantasy stories deal with connections between humans and animals, notably David Brin's Uplift series, Tamora Pierce's Wild Magic, and the books I am reading right now, Robin Hobb's Assassin trilogy.<br /><br />Oct 12 2007<br />I am writing a lot today-- it is going well. I'm having fun with my story, and I think I might be able to actually finish it at some point, maybe even this weekend.<br /><br />Today's word count so far is: 1,933<br />Total word count for story: 5,036 (10 pages in Word) [this is before I gave up writing fiction]<br />Things I'm learning:<br /><br />--Some days it just goes better than others, but there is no way to predict which days these will be, which is like a lot of other stuff in life.<br />--It's easy for me to write about horses. The visual and sensory details are all right there in my mind, they are inherently interesting to me, and it puts me in a good mood.<br />--I lack practice in writing. This is what I need to work on: just building up some experience and confidence. This is also very similar to a lot of other stuff in life.<br /><br />Oct 10 2008, writing a long entry about my abusive job:<br />Still. I'm coughing now, the mouth sores came back, and I'm punchy with exhaustion. I want out. Now.<br /><br />Oct 10 2009<br />Maybe last week? I finally changed my OK Cupid profile to say "bisexual". [I now prefer "queer"]<br /><br />About 2 or 3 months ago I changed my facebook profile to say "Looking for: Friendship" only and eliminated the "interested in" portion. (This also has the nice side effect of reducing dating ads in the sidebar.) <br /><br />Oct 10 2010<br />--I really do have a lot on my plate. I am responsible for 3 studies and helping out with a 4th. I also write and edit papers (which I enjoy). The hardest, most exhausting part is talking to people I don't know, which I have to do a lot of lately, and that will get easier with practice. I am learning new software, learning to read medical charts, asking questions constantly. <br />--I am very sensitive to criticism<br />--I was very burned by my last job<br />--It's still a new job. I do really enjoy it! But I'm currently putting most of my energy into the job and need to rest and do self-care a lot. I'm pretty good about leaving on time and not going in on my day off. I don't make enough money for that.<br /><br />Oct 12 2011, writing about a performance<br />Mostly what I got out of this show came during the panel and Q and A at the end: the panelists talked about how people of color don't have the luxury of leaving behind their families or their faith when they come out, because those institutions are so necessary when navigating a white supremacist society. Communities of faith, nor queer communities, aren't going away, and interstitial, compromise spaces are needed.<br /><br />Oct 9 2012<br />I was super anxious at work today. Sometimes I get this fear/feeling that I am bad at my job, and I am going to get reprimanded or fired or something, and it makes me not want to go to work at all--self-destructive tendencies, etc. <br /><br />I guess it's a good thing I have therapy this week.<br /><br />Oct 8 2013<br />I am happy to be working again. So far work is not very social, and I stare at a computer too much. I will have to look around for people to talk to and places to walk. I don't know why sitting at a desk is so hard on my body.<br /><br />Oct 9 2014<br />I met a very lovely Greyhound today that I will hopefully get to adopt. She is an almost-3-year-old girl, black, a bit timid. She has a playful side that I think will come out once she settles in. <span style='white-space: nowrap;'><a href='https://were-duck.dreamwidth.org/profile'><img src='https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png' alt='[personal profile] ' width='17' height='17' style='vertical-align: text-bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;' /></a><a href='https://were-duck.dreamwidth.org/'><b>were_duck</b></a></span> came along to meet her.<br /><br />Oct 11 2015<br /><br />Today is unseasonably warm. I'm farm sitting. It's quiet and peaceful, perhaps a bit lonely but at least there are plenty of animals around, and also the internet.<br /><br /><img src="https://www.dreamwidth.org/tools/commentcount?user=sasha_feather&ditemid=1011454" width="30" height="12" alt="comment count unavailable" style="vertical-align: middle;"/> comments