sasha_feather: Big book of Lesbian Horse stories book cover (lesbian horse stories)
1. What's the happiest thing to ever happen to you?
Getting a horse for Christmas when I was 11. Penny and I were soul-friends and I had so many good times with her. Here is a photo of us the next summer: https://flic.kr/p/63nL6f

2. What's the saddest thing to ever happen to you?
Maybe when my 2 best friends broke up with me when we were 11-ish (6th grade). In therapy, I determined this to be a watershed event for learning to shut down my emotions; and also the ringleader probably sensed something gay about me, and that is why she decided to stop talking to me. Also, the way they did it! They just stopped talking to me one day. I was bewildered more than anything.

3. What's the thing that got you the most angry in your life?
Probably at a therapist. I was about a day or two into a hypo-manic episode (?) after coming out and I thought she could help me. She didn't. I did write about it at the time http://sasha-feather.dreamwidth.org/375687.html (post was filtered but it's so long ago I will unfilter it, temporarily. Many of my older posts are locked down to private).
I got so angry about the Vivid Con ableism stuff in 2010 that I made myself ill. But, that anger has faded. I don't really feel it anymore.
I didn't get angry a lot before I came out; and then I was angry *all the time*; it seems better now a few years on.

4. What's the most frightening thing to ever happen to you?
Scary situations don't really "happen to me" so much as arise from my anxiety. I have gotten super anxious in totally mundane situations. It seemed like the only way out of the problem was to speak, and I was so anxious I could not speak, so I was stuck and frozen. Also, I didn't know why this was happening. Everyone else seemed to have no problem in these ordinary situations, like speaking to a teacher or knocking on a door. Then having random panic attacks sent me to therapy.
In a more traditional sense of frightening-- there was some scary-to-outsiders stuff with the horses, like getting bucked off. But it never seemed scary to me. Animals are easier than people, and that basic fear is easier to deal with than anxiety.

5. What's the most unbelievable thing to happen to you in your life?
a. Getting scholarships that paid for my college education
b. Getting a horse for Christmas!!!11!1!!!
c. Not realizing I was queer until age mumblety
d. getting facial pain that has no real diagnosis
e. Being on the State Champion poutlry quiz bowl team!
sasha_feather: Big book of Lesbian Horse stories book cover (lesbian horse stories)
Free Reign: This is a kids/teens TV show about a teen girl who loves horses. It's ADORABLE. Zoe is about 15 or 16. She and her mom and her sister (age 10) are visiting family on an island in England for the summer. Next door there's a stable, and Zoe falls in love with a troubled horse named Raven. There are some soap opera elements to the show, and a boring love triangle element (two boys like Zoe, oh woe). But overall it's cute, funny, and well done. Zoe works with Raven to calm him down and get him rideable. Meanwhile she makes friends and starts investigating the theft of some local horses. Rosie (the younger sister), Zoe, and their mom are black; there is a South Asian character (Jade), and there are a bunch of teenage girls hanging out together and riding horses and having fun. There are 10 episodes, 25 minutes each. No warnings that I can think of.

Tiki

Jun. 22nd, 2014 10:04 pm
sasha_feather: ken watanbe with a horse and dog (ken wantanbe with pets)
family horse died )


[Tiki, a chestnut Quarter horse, standing in a green pasture on a sunny summer day.]
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (horse)
[livejournal.com profile] mystickeeper ([profile] laceblace) gave me 5 words for one of those memes that I like to do:
Horses
Kindle
Intersectionality (of disability and feminism)
Farm/Country Life
Intelligence

Reply to this meme by yelling "Words!" and I will give you five words that remind me of you. Then post them in your LJ and explain what they mean to you.


Horses

Yah! I love horses. I had/have three to call my very own: Penny, Tiki, and Cassidy. I rode in 4-H as a teenager, mostly doing barrel racing and the like. I still have the boots and hat and Wranglers and all that. I don't ride enough any more. I miss it a lot.

Penny was an Appaloosa, 22 when I got her, and I was 11. She died my senior year of college, which means she was Very Aged by horse standards. She was this wise old gentle soul. <3

Horses horses horses! They are very smart, silly, brave, frustrating, and awesome. And the most beautiful creatures on earth. They even smell good. They're a gift. A blessing.

Kindle

I wrote a review of my Kindle at kindledfans.

Kindle kindle kindle! I did go to look for Dangerous Liaisons today and Amazon only has it IN FRENCH, which is disappointing. My sites for free ebooks (like Project Gutenberg) do not have it either.

I love showing it off. I love listening to p0rn in the funny robot voice for a lark. Which, by the way, can be either male or female: my Kindle is gender neutral. ("Who would want a male robot voice reading to them?" [personal profile] general_jinjur asked me at WisCon. "Well, I guess it takes all kinds.")*

People asked me if it has a name, and I guess I'm not one of those people who name my inanimate objects. It just doesn't occur to me to do so.

[*She may have specified "reading p0rn", I don't quite remember. But there was someone at a fanfic panel I was at, at Another Con, who disliked having pr0n read to her by a female human voice. Interesting.]

Intersectionality (of disability and feminism)

[personal profile] jesse_the_k have talked about how oppression often works the same even when "the differences are different". For instance, take weird gendered comments, and weird comments disabled people receive ("Don't you need a license for that wheelchair?"), or the "where are you from" that some POC receive. They all tend to come from privileged people who are uncomfortable with someone who is different from them, or taking advantage of their privilege somehow. The privileged people feel they are entitled to comment on you, know something about you, invade your privacy, because you are obviously different in some way, and reduced to that difference. That difference is the most important thing about you.

I can't really separate some of the stuff I learn about into obvious categories-- it all feels the same to me, it all feels like an umbrella of "anti-oppression". Or at least ideally, it should be so. Especially because many of us fit into multiple categories. I see the connections pretty easily. But, I'm just beginning to learn about race and class, so I might mistakes on those things.

Farm/Country Life

Or why the heck do I live in the city?

I like chickens, and dogs, and sheep, all of which I grew up with. I like gardening. I like quiet pastures and fields. I like gravel roads and streams and woods. I like staring off into the distance and laying on the porch swing reading. I like going to the barn even in the middle of a blizzard to check on the sheep.

I don't like smog/air pollution, car alarms, crowds, noise.

I'm getting used to the city, and I like being so close to my friends. There are a lot of cool people here.

My four grandparents were farmers, my parents grew up on working farms and made a hobby farm life for themselves, and I have aunts and uncles who farm, and yet! Out of the next generation of me and all my cousins? I think there are only 2 who will end up as farmers. And one cousin is getting into CAFO (confined animal feeding operations), because it's the only game in town. And I think CAFOs are sad and wrong. It's just too hard for farmers to make a living anymore.

Intelligence

Er, thanks!? I should remind myself of this, because sometimes I feel like a big faker. Is that a woman thing? I know I'm smart but still I'm a little insecure about it? I like hanging out with people who are smarter than me, and I went to good schools on academic scholarship, and was interested in learning everything, but a part of me feels like I never worked hard enough or was never quite smart enough. Which is totally silly.
----

Also, I just finished watching S1 Leverage. ZOMG. <3

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