sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
The original La Cage aux folles (the birdcage) (1978), in French with English subtitles. A little slow to start, but delightful, warm, and hilarious.

Renato owns a nightclub, mostly featuring drag queens. He lives above it with his long-time partner Albin. Renato's son Laurent comes to visit, announcing his engagement to Andrea, whose family are stuffy conservatives in the government. Andrea lies to her parents and says that Renato is a cultural attache. Laurent (who should feel BAD about himself) talks his father into making the appartment look like a hetero den and having them over for a fancy dinner, continuing the lie. Farce ensues. I notice this has an R rating because GAY but it really doesn't deserve it.

Elementary Season 4

Joan Watson!!!!

The Good Place

This was just OK, and some things about it bothered me a little, but I really liked the characters and the diverse cast. I especially liked Chidi, a black nerdy philosophy professor who clearly has an anxiety disorder. He tries so hard.
sasha_feather: Big book of Lesbian Horse stories book cover (lesbian horse stories)
1. what are the words you do not have yet? [Or, “for what do you not have words, yet?”]

Those things that are small traumas, "it's not really a trauma but"; like microagressions but not so micro.

More words for coming out: are you coming out to yourself? to others? Are you in the long process of de-brainwashing yourself? Are you still de-brainwashing yourself after years and years? Do you hear a song on the radio, a love song without any gender specified, and assume it's about straight people?

More words like "Hangry", which is a good word; I'm cranky because I'm hungry, I'm cranky because I'm in pain; I'm cranky because....

More words for different kinds of love. Love is love doesn't work for me. I like distinctions and nuance. Love for the world; love for nature; love for friends; love for fandom; sudden and gradual loves; ones that fade and ones that endure. And what are things that help make love happen? What are those things?

Words for surviving, for getting through, for recovering, for dealing with shit that you have to do but can barely get yourself to do.

And more words for physical, chronic pain, which is so boring, and so difficult to describe.

Uh huh

Dec. 3rd, 2016 11:50 pm
sasha_feather: Daredevil in a suit (Daredevil)
Today my roommate had a party for her birthday. It was lovely; it involved reading books and passages from books out loud to the group. Some were children's books. Someone read from Alice in Wonderland; we passed around a book of tongue twisters by Dr. Suess.

Someone brought a joke book, Plato and Platypus walk into a bar: understanding philosophy through jokes. At first I thought, what a good idea, a joke book! But in a mixed group that don't know each other well, in the afternoon-- maybe not.

One of the jokes made me very clearly feel like the only queer person in the room.

An old cowboy goes into a bar and orders a drink. As he sits
there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sits down next to him. She
turns to the cowboy and asks him, “Are you a real cowboy?”

He replies, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch, herding
horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am.”
She says, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about
women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about
women. When I shower or watch TV, everything seems to make
me think of women.”

A little while later, a couple sits down next to the old cowboy
and asks him, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replies, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a
lesbian.”
(this is directly quoted from the PDF of the book

Interesting, the woman who brought this book also told a joke involving engineers, and said before she told that one she surveyed the room for who is an engineer to see who the joke would affect. Uh huh.

p.s. I don't feel well today; not sure what it is but dang
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
Feel free to add more in comments

--It's based on a true story
--It's more believable / realistic / serious / true to the narrative
--It has more artistic merit if it's tragic
--The actor was leaving the show
--It's a French story
"It's dangerous to tell the showrunner how to tell a story." --http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/bury-your-gays-trope-stumps-891596

--"Anyone can die in this show"

--"we didn't anticipate this sort of level of pain over this fictional death," --Jason Rothberg, the 100

--""It’s a really important thing to note that it wasn’t in any way an attempt to aggravate a social situation," Alycia Debnam-Carey, the 100

--"This was the ultimate compliment for her character to have a higher purpose. " --random commenter on Root (Person of Interest)
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
I'm angry about episode 4.3. I wish this show would stick to its strong suit, and write about women, children, and childbirth, and stay away from "Very Special Episodes". This episode gave me a real life stomachache.

Read more... )
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
I sat down to read a comic called The Story of my Tits and I stopped because I started to feel anxious, and have a lot of fast thoughts. How strange.

thinking about gender and bodies and clothes )
sasha_feather: Amelie, white woman with dark hair, smiling cheerfully (Amelie)
I recently re-watched "Grumpy Old Men" with my roommate. Part of the reason I loved this movie when I was younger was because it portrayed our Minnesotan culture in winter, dealing with snow and ice fishing and a sort of friendly grumpiness. Unfortunately the Jewish elements were a bit too subtle for my young eyes and went right over my head at the time, but I caught them this time around.

Something that stood out for me is when Ariel asks John Gustafson (old older Swedish-Minnesotan man) if he is straight or gay. He sputters and is totally taken aback. He says something like, maybe you can ask those kinds of questions in California, but not here!

I'm trying to be more forthright (straight forward is not the word), but it's swimming against a lot of culture, going back generations all the way back to Sweden.
sasha_feather: furiosa holding a gun, showing her metal arm (furiosa arm)
I seen a few people praising this exchange from Arnold's facebook page. The photo is: He changed his user icon (an image of himself as the Terminator) to the rainbow-overlay, which many folks are doing.

A commenter says: "What's wrong with you Arnie? I have to unlike."

Arnold replies: "Hasta la vista."

I get it, people think this is funny. A lot of people probably don't know that Schwarzenegger blocked same-sex marriage in California when he was governor. He did so using his veto power not once, but twice.

This is no secret and not that obscure; for example, George Takei has spoken of Schwarzenegger's homophobic policies as part of his motivation for coming out publicly.

Links for sources (thanks eruthros)
http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_marl10.htm
http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_marl8.htm
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
Consolidated notes on Queer movies that I've seen over the last six-ish years, as people seem to look for recs from time to time. Since I wrote these a while ago, some may no longer be on Netflix. Will edit this from time to time. Adding stars to ones I especially recommend.

52 movies )

"Pride"

Jan. 15th, 2015 10:44 pm
sasha_feather: Moriary and his neck, Sherlock BBC (Moriarty)
I didn't do much today but it was a Twitter success day: re-tweeted by @Karnythia (29.8K followers) and Saladin Ahmed (24.1K Followers). If you care about that sort of thing. I used to have a locked twitter, so.

I watched the film "Pride" (2014) with some friends. I quite liked this film about a group of gay and lesbian activists in the UK who support striking miners. It's great to see a film about activists and politics; it reminded me a bit of "Milk" but was better because it focused on a group of people instead of one individual, and it focused on the politics and not on the drama of their relationships. It's a hopeful movie about the power of community activism.
sasha_feather: neat looking overcoat (coat)
A while back [personal profile] longwhitecoats asked on Twitter about movies that influenced our queer identities.

I was thinking about this last night; and it's possible I've written about all or most of this before in 2009-ish. Queer identity is not static, but shifts over time. However, for me, my queer identity was most in focus when I was coming out, and the TV, movies, and other media I consumed mattered a lot.

Firefly-- specifically, Simon Tam. It's not just that the actor is gay, though that is part of it. It's that he's uncomfortable and feels unsafe, so he retreats into what he knows, which is medicine and manners. He acts differently around men vs. women-- women he treats as friends and confidants; with men there is something else going on-- the charge of attraction. He does like Kaylee, but I think what he feels is envy. Kaylee is comfortable in her skin, in touch with her desires, and free to act upon them. His opposite. (Also, it's nice when someone has a crush on you; but his supposed flirting is beyond awkward and into painful.)

About a Boy-- not a gay movie at all. But what I related to here was Will Freeman's solitude, the aspect that feelings and connections with other people are messy and scary, and it's better to avoid them and just be alone. The plot of the film involves Marcus and his mother disrupting Will's patterns and forcing Will to form connections, to be more honest and vulnerable, to have feelings. These might seem like small risks to some people but they are big risks for others, for those with anxiety for instance. For me, a big part of coming out was admitting that I am sensitive and anxious, and really dealing with having lots of feelings.

But I'm a Cheerleader-- So much love for this film. What strikes me now is Megan's concept of herself as a normal, good person, and how it's difficult for her mesh that concept with being gay. In many ways she's conformist, obedient, wants to please others; coming out means she really can't do so anymore. News flash: gay is normal; but it means you are going to be an outcast. I wish I'd seen this film sooner.

Queer as Folk-- I watched this really fast and doubt I'd enjoy it as much now; but at the time it was like an oasis in the desert. I was working a terrible, exhausting job, and I latched onto QaF and Buffy like my life depended on it. Gay people and sex and culture-- just, stuff I really hadn't had much exposure to, and needed to see. (Curiously, I later tried to watch the L word and hated it; idk.)

The Crying Game-- it's sad that this movie became a punch line to hundreds of jokes, because it's a beautiful film. I should watch it again; my memory of it is fuzzy but I remember having an understanding of what the characters were going through.
sasha_feather: Avatar Kyoshi from avatar: the last airbender cartoon (Lady avatar)
Attempting to post more. Thinking about weight / size politics under the cut.

Read more... )
sasha_feather: white woman in space suit (Astronaut)
Beginners (2010) R. Ewan MacGregor, Christopher Plummer, Melanie Laurent.

MacGregor plays Oliver, a 38-year-old graphic designer who has recently lost his father. In flashbacks and narration, we see his close relationship to his father, who came out publicly as gay at age 75. Now, in 2003, Oliver is struggling with grief, with the fact that his parents were never in love, and with his own relationships and feelings. Oliver falls for a woman named Anna. In flashbacks, his father falls for a younger man, played by Goran Visnjic, and gets involved with gay politics. The movie is engaging and told with sensitivity and emotional nuance. People at any age can be beginners at life and love.
sasha_feather: Max from Dark Angel (Max from Dark Angel)
After reading [personal profile] thingswithwings' latest fic, Odd One Out, and relating a lot to Eliot in that story, I am idly wondering if I am perhaps aromantic.

It seems like a simple relationship style that would work for me.

There is a lot of upheaval going on in the world and in my community right now. Things are rapidly coming into hard focus. Sustained anger seems to be really working for me right now actually. *Imagines Eliot growling*
sasha_feather: Max from Dark Angel (Max from Dark Angel)
I am angry lately! Anger can be good, but also exhausting. I got into a tiff with Saeed Jones on Twitter earlier this week, and I am still upset about that. He is a popular Twitter personality, and LGBT editor for Buzzfeed. He was mocking women at the Met Gala on the red carpet. I criticized him for it; he said "The exit is this way." (I also made a storify.)

I guess I have high expectations for public LBGT figures. He's anti-racist, so I expect him to be feminist. I expect feminists to be anti-racist. I expect intersectionality from people. It doesn't happen.

I admit I might be wrong about the particular issue: criticizing famous women/the way they dress on the red carpet. But I don't think so.

I can see where people might think it's "punching up" type of comedy or making fun to snark at these women and their dresses, because they are actresses, musicians, etc, and they have a relative amount of money and power compared to the rest of us.

But women don't have power in the entertainment industry compared to men. Men hold the power there and as a feminist I want to support women who are trying to make it in Hollywood.

I also love women, so you know, it's fun to just like looking at women in pretty dresses, you know? I don't enjoy cutting them down.

Sigh.
sasha_feather: Max from Dark Angel (Max from Dark Angel)
Cloudburst, 2011, starring Olympia Dukakis

A funny, great film about an old lesbian couple that have been together for nearly 30 years. Stella and Dot live together in a New England house, but when Dot gets hurt, Dot's granddaughter tries to put Dot in a nursing home. Stella busts her out and decides to drive them to Canada to get married. They pick up a hitch hiker along the way and have some adventures. There is lots of fun banter because Stella has a dirty sense of humor and good chemistry with Dot. Dot is blind and it's so refreshing to see realistic disability representation.

Content notes (here be spoilers):
notes )

Pit Stop, 2013

A sweet, slowly building film about getting over past relationships and moving on with life. It deals with the real complexity of gay relationships in a way that I loved, and dealt with working-class men in small-town Texas. I liked going into this movie not knowing who these people were and trying to figure out their relationships, so I don't want to give too much away. The movie's protagonists are Ernesto and Gabe, and each of them have pasts, attachments, and deep emotions that the viewer gets to see. Occasionally it looks a little low-budget in that the lighting and camera shots are bad, but overall it's well done. No content notes that I can think of.
sasha_feather: "subversive" in rainbow colors (subversive)
Actor Wentworth Miller of "Prison Break" came out publicly, making it politcal, making it about Russia.

George Takei posted this on Facebook:


["Wentworth Miller reveals he's gay." Photo of Miller. Photo of Obi-Wan Kenobi. "I feel a great disturbance in the force, as if millions of women suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly followed by millions of gay men crying out in joy."]

I saw a similar reaction on an acquaintance's Facebook feed, where a gay man posted in support of Miller, and a presumably straight woman said, perhaps in jest, "I am not pleased!"

The microagressions here are many. I wish his coming out were a neutral piece of news, or focused, as he meant, on Russia. Instead we get this.

There is something here about Miller's body as public property, which is part of being a celebrity, and I don't think it's wrong to admire and sexualize celebrities. In fact I think it's often great! But I think it goes too far when people express this creepy sort of ownership over celebrities' bodies, and rules about who can and can't desire them. Because Miller is gay, now suddenly women can't desire him anymore? Who made up that rule?

The Obi-Wan meme erases the experience of queer women entirely, assuming that all women are straight. It also ignores bisexual, asexual, and other queer people. Yes, I realize that it's just a meme, and meant for humor. But it isn't funny. I am really glad about Miller coming out, and doing so in an explicitly political way.

The women saying "I am not pleased!" no doubt think they are saying this statement in humor. I always want people generally to say they are pleased by queerness. Expressing displeasure at someone's queerness sure sounds like homophobia even if you don't mean it that way. It also centers these women's own feelings as hetero women, and assumes that all good looking actors should somehow be available to them sexually. This sort of magical thinking is really strange.

Malinda Lo said the other day on Twitter, that people are shocked and appalled when a character they think should be straight turns out to be gay. I think there is some of that happening here. Miller is a very good looking hunk, someone "masucline" in appearance, not stereotypically gay, and so some people react with a kind of outrage. A hunky man like that is gay??
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
A couple notes I wanted to make while reading Far From the Tree.

p. 17: "Much of the debate around sexual-orientation laws has turned on the idea of that if you choose homosexuality, it should not be protected, but you are born with it, perhaps it should. Members of minority religions are protected not because they are born that way and can't do anything about it, but because we affirm their right to discover, declare, and inhabit the faith with which they identify. [...] This cripple-like model of homosexuality is depressing, but as soon as ayone posits that homosexuality is chosen or mutable, lawmakers and religious leaders try to cure and disenfranchise the gay people in their purview..."

I have blogged about this before here, so it was nice to see him cover it. It's particularly nice to see the way he frames it: the defensive position is held only because of attacks by lawmakers and the religious right.

p. 5: "We often use illness to disparage a way of being, and identity to validate that same way of being. This is a false dichotomy." [Here he talks about the wave-particle dual nature of light.] "A similar duality obtains in this matter of self. Many conditions are both illness and identity, but we can see one only when we obscure the other. Identity politics refutes the idea of illness, while medicine shortchanges identity. Both are diminished by this narrowness."

It is important to remember that models are incomplete ways of describing the world. Models are developed because we are unable to fully understand the world; it is simply too complex.

Models are sometimes in opposition with each other but not always: Most disabled people use medicines and support certain charities but also rely on the social model of disability to help us understand our place in the world and world for a better standard of life.
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
I know a lot of people love "Scandal" but I was not impressed with the pilot episode, which I watched last night.

spoilers )
sasha_feather: German volleyballers hugging, totally hot (slash dudes)
So the AP has decided not to use the word "homophobia" any more, but to go with words like "anti-gay" instead, apparently, which has prompted some discussions around these terms. Whatever your feelings, I would like to remind you of one of the best Onion articles of all time:

Revolutionary New Homophobia Immersion Therapy Involves Lowering Patient into Tank of Gays

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