sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
The last few days we've had a record-setting heat wave, with temps in the high 80s and low 90s (right now it's 25 C/ 77 F AT NIGHT). My asthma is acting up and I have been feeling more sad than usual. I get this burning pain in my ribs and sternum and mouth. I've been napping during the day and staying up late, but I haven't been doing much with my time.

To get some good AC I went to the cheap seat movie theater tonight and saw "Step." This is a documentary about a Step dance team at a girls' high school in Baltimore. The film focuses entirely on black girls and women. Recommended.
sasha_feather: Big book of Lesbian Horse stories book cover (lesbian horse stories)
1. What's the happiest thing to ever happen to you?
Getting a horse for Christmas when I was 11. Penny and I were soul-friends and I had so many good times with her. Here is a photo of us the next summer: https://flic.kr/p/63nL6f

2. What's the saddest thing to ever happen to you?
Maybe when my 2 best friends broke up with me when we were 11-ish (6th grade). In therapy, I determined this to be a watershed event for learning to shut down my emotions; and also the ringleader probably sensed something gay about me, and that is why she decided to stop talking to me. Also, the way they did it! They just stopped talking to me one day. I was bewildered more than anything.

3. What's the thing that got you the most angry in your life?
Probably at a therapist. I was about a day or two into a hypo-manic episode (?) after coming out and I thought she could help me. She didn't. I did write about it at the time http://sasha-feather.dreamwidth.org/375687.html (post was filtered but it's so long ago I will unfilter it, temporarily. Many of my older posts are locked down to private).
I got so angry about the Vivid Con ableism stuff in 2010 that I made myself ill. But, that anger has faded. I don't really feel it anymore.
I didn't get angry a lot before I came out; and then I was angry *all the time*; it seems better now a few years on.

4. What's the most frightening thing to ever happen to you?
Scary situations don't really "happen to me" so much as arise from my anxiety. I have gotten super anxious in totally mundane situations. It seemed like the only way out of the problem was to speak, and I was so anxious I could not speak, so I was stuck and frozen. Also, I didn't know why this was happening. Everyone else seemed to have no problem in these ordinary situations, like speaking to a teacher or knocking on a door. Then having random panic attacks sent me to therapy.
In a more traditional sense of frightening-- there was some scary-to-outsiders stuff with the horses, like getting bucked off. But it never seemed scary to me. Animals are easier than people, and that basic fear is easier to deal with than anxiety.

5. What's the most unbelievable thing to happen to you in your life?
a. Getting scholarships that paid for my college education
b. Getting a horse for Christmas!!!11!1!!!
c. Not realizing I was queer until age mumblety
d. getting facial pain that has no real diagnosis
e. Being on the State Champion poutlry quiz bowl team!
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
Logan Lucky - in theaters, PG-13

A heist movie about Southern, redneck-type folks who plan and carry out a complicated robbery. Very little violence (one bar fight), little in the way of bad language, no explicit material. Pretty light, fun, and clever. Channing Tatum is the mastermind of the heist; his brother is played by Adam Driver. Daniel Craig cleary had a lot of fun playing a bomb expert with a thick Southern accent. This movie didn't have a lot of substance, but it was fun. My main irritation is that Adam Driver plays a guy with a partial arm amputation from a war wound. How much money did they spend on CGI for this, and also he took away a great opportunity for an actual disabled person to play this part. There are a couple of jokes involving the prostetic that didn't feel mean to me, but might feel mean to someone else.

Silver Linings Playbook

I loved the beginning and middle of this movie. Bradley Cooper is tremendous in it-- he takes a character that could be (and sometime is) creepy and unlikeable, and makes that character sympathetic. I liked that they showed some of the realities of mental illness. I liked the friendship between his character and Jennifer Lawrence's character. I did not like the ending, which seemed to wrap everything up in too neat of a bow-- a happily ever after sort of ending, when you know it isn't going to be so easy for anyone.

What Happened to Monday - Netflix

A dystopian film set in the near future, in an unnamed European city. People live under an oppressive government, the main crux being a strict one-child policy. Seven identical sisters live in secret, sharing one legit identity as Karen Settman. They each get to go out one day a week, the day they are named after. At the end of the day, each catches the others up on what they need to know to keep up at their high-powered job. One evening, Monday doesn't come home, and the others must find out what has happened. Noomi Rapace plays all of the sisters. It's fun to watch them being badass and fighting, but there is quite a lot of violence and mayhem. Content notes for child harm and death; violence; gore. I enjoyed this film quite a lot.

Previews

Sep. 13th, 2017 02:41 pm
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
Some previews I saw at the movies yesterday:

Home Again

Reese Witherspoon plays a mom, recently separated from her husband, who hooks up with a younger guy. Events transpire, the younger guy and his friends move into her guest house; she navigates her feelings regarding her husband and her possible new, younger love interest. I think this looks cute. People have been talking about age-difference movies on Twitter, and it's nice to see one where the woman is older.

Mother!

Darren Aronofsky horror film. Not my jam.
Speaking of age differences:
Jennifer Lawrence is 27
Javier Bardem is 48
21 yr age difference

Breathe

Andrew Garfield plays a wealthy man paralyzed by polio. This could be good, or it could be ableist trash? The preview looks promising in that he uses his wealth and privlege to help other disabled people; to develop a wheelchair with a respirator attached; etc.
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
My Brother's Husband by Gengoroh Tagame
Funny and poignant with detailed, goregous art. Focused on relationships, day-to-day life; with reflections on homophobia in Japanese culture. Loved this and read it in one evening.

Star Scouts by Mike Lawrence
Adorable, funny, and imaginative story with a satisfying ending. Fairly light-hearted tale of how Avani makes alien friends in Star Scouts, goes to camp, has a rivalry with another scout, and succeeds at her goals. I really enjoyed the art. Avani is South Asian.

Both of these are appropriate for all ages.
sasha_feather: Road and thunderheads (big sky)
My face is hurting despite the nerve block. I suspect it's allergies / congestion. Weirdly cool and humid today.

What more is there to say about pain? Nothing.

I tried to read "The Charioteer" from the library, but the text was small and not very crisp. Gave up.

Tried to read a Sarah Glidden graphic memoir, but the text was too small. Set it aside for the time being.

Now charging up my Kobo-- fanfic is the way to go!!!
sasha_feather: horses grazing on a hill with thunderheads (horses and lightning)
I love the farm. I just love how quiet and peaceful and gorgeous it is.

The adolescent guineas and pheasants in the shed get meal worms as a treat. Meal worms are the BEST, according to them. The internet says that pheasants are wild and won't tame down, but apparently these sites don't know about meal worms. Anyways, today I picked up the bucket where they are stored, and one of the guineas was so excited that she Flew At Me, hit my chest, bounced off and ran away.

Abbie had a couple of good sprints down to the barn and back.

Today I saw:
A hummingbird feeding off the cannas
A Monarch butterfly
A female cardinal
A woodpecker (I just heard this)
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
I slept most of the day (I think I had a mild vaccine reaction). Abbie gave this gentle, polite woof of a bark to wake me up at precisely 4:30 pm, meaning, it's time to go to the dog park. She is good at telling time.

Lately it's calming for me to describe things on Tumblr:
https://www.tumblr.com/blog/angelictroublemaker

I try to keep it positive. (There is some NSFW stuff but it's tagged.)

I enjoyed this Dorian/Iron Bull fanfic
Come Forth into the Storm by zythepsary
http://archiveofourown.org/works/8016253
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
These two episodes are kind of boring compared to the first three, but there are some notable points.

Read more... )
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
The Wave - Netflix, Norwegian with English subtitles

I watched this a few weeks back on a rec from ladyjax. It is firmly in the "natural disaster" genre, and is recommended if you like this genre. It focuses on a geologist and his family, and what happens when a mountain falls into the ocean, causing a tsunami. I liked the characters and enjoyed the slow build of tension. Content notes: people dying in various ways

The Shallows

A tense, thrilling shark movie. This film focuses on a young woman, Nancy, who is surfing at a secluded beach somewhere in Mexico. A shark attacks her and she must try to survive. It's got beautiful land/seascapes, and tight writing. I liked that there was no romance, and that Nancy is smart and brave and compassionate. content notes: blood, death, a bit of self-surgery

Keanu

A goofball comedy from the creators of Key and Peele, this story focuses on Rell (Peele) and his cousin Clarence (Key) trying to rescue a kitten from drug dealers. Rell and Cameron are nerdy guys and they pose as dangerous gangland assassins to try and infiltrate the drug dealers and get Keanu back. It's brilliant. Content note: gun violence, death, drugs

welp

Aug. 7th, 2017 01:21 pm
sasha_feather: Road and thunderheads (big sky)
Semi-regular ask for assistance with paying my medical bills.

http://paypal.me/sandphin

eta:
For those who don't like paypal (understandably)
My contact info is under lock here http://sasha-feather.dreamwidth.org/784754.html
sasha_feather: horses grazing on a hill with thunderheads (horses and lightning)
I read an article about mosquito research a month or so ago. The author used a phrase that really stuck with me: "Like many people, I feel uniquely persectued by mosquitoes," was how I remembered it.

I looked up the article and it's acutally:
"I don’t have a phobia, exactly, but like a lot of people I feel uniquely hunted by mosquitoes. "

http://www.thedailybeast.com/mosquitoes-love-some-people-more-and-science-wants-to-know-why

I thought, that's it. That's it exactly! It feels personal. Rather than just being creatures that exist in the world, they are out to get me. And me especially, somehow-- an illogical and demonstrably false belief.

This summer and last summer I've been chased inside by these beasts. I haven't gardened nearly as much, nor sat outside reading. They get into the house and my car. We kill them and a surprising amount of blood results, leaving small gory streaks on the apartment walls.

I fancy myself a nature lover. But lately I've been more about spending time indoors. Autumn will be welcome.
sasha_feather: horses grazing on a hill with thunderheads (horses and lightning)
Rosalie Lightning by Tom Hart is close to being a perfect work of art.

This graphic memoir has a youtube trailer in which the author talks about why he made it:
https://youtu.be/7cajcXj0-rE

Content note: death of a child

The author masterfully uses the comics form to talk about intense grief; nature and time; and connection with other people.
sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
Nico and I started a rewatch of Dark Angel. I've seen this show through several times, but not in years. I also watched the commentaries. The day I bought the 1st season on DVD was the day after I'd finished reading "Harry Potter" #5, and I was so sad about Sirius dying that I needed something to cheer myself up. So, that would have been summer of 2003; I had just graduated college.

Watching this show in my mid-thirties is an entirely different experience. I feel like an adult.

We watched the first two episodes.
possible spoilers for a 14 year old show )
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
TV:
Korra (Avatar: The Legend of Korra) - has PTSD and was poisoned
Dr. Kerry Weaver (ER) - uses an arm crutch
Jodi Lerner - Marlee Matlin's character on "The L Word" - Deaf
Brian Kinney (Queer as Folk) - testicular cancer
Ben (QaF) - HIV
Justin (QaF) - PTSD, brain damage
Thirteen (House) - Huntington's disease
Arizona Robbins on Grey's Anatomy - above knee amputee
David Fisher, Six Feet Under, PTSD.
Willow (BtVS) - Addiction
Annalise Keating (HtGAWM) - Addiction.
Thomas Barrow (Downton Abbey) - permanent hand injury

Films:
Margarita with Straw
The Way He Looks (about a blind gay kid)
Wilby Wonderful (film is partly about a suicidal man)
The Normal Heart (about HIV)
Philadelphia (HIV)
Longtime Companion (HIV)
Jeffrey (HIV)
HOLE (short film) - physical disabilities
Frida (about Frida Kahlo)

Books:
The Charioteer, Mary Renault - physcial disabilities
And the Band Played On (HIV)
The Line of Beauty (HIV)
A character in Nimona (physical disability)
Umegat and his partner in The Curse of Chalion (phyiscal disabilities/trauma)
John Granby -Temeraire series (missing hand, prostethic)

Other:
Deadpool - disfigured
The Iron Bull (DA:I) - uses a leg brace
Angels in America (HIV)
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
stuff i did
--Had insomnia last night
--Went to humane society to volunteer. Had a good time.
--Went to dog park
--Bought groceries
--Exhaustion hit me like a brick and I slept for a couple of hours

Now I am still tired, but probably won't be able to sleep.

I forgot to mention earlier that my disability parking tag came in the mail about a week ago. This is a big milestone for me. I'm grateful to have it.

Here is another short film rec: An animated film about young love, "In a Heartbeat". Very sweet. No dialog.

https://youtu.be/2REkk9SCRn0
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
A 15 minute short film about a disabled gay man. Has captions. Explicit content.

https://www.shortoftheweek.com/2017/05/30/hole/

(Film autoplays at link)
sasha_feather: white woman in space suit (Astronaut)
The Keepers - Netflix documentary, 7 episodes. 2017.

This was rough, but riveting and thought provoking. A detailed investigation into the murder of a nun in 1969, this series focuses largely on women who were her students in high school (so they are in their 60s now). There is a lot of discussion of sex abuse in the Catholic church, some discussion of possible police corruption (or at least egregious incompetence), and a strong sense of the social consequences of violence. Recommended if you like true crime stories and can handle the discussions of abuse.

Masterminds - on Netflix. 2016. comedy.

This is good if you are in the mood for a silly comedy with some gross-out humor, and which is not mean, and not violent. Zach Galifinakis plays Dave, an armored car driver who gets manipulated into doing a robbery and stealing 17 million dollars. Also stars Owen Wilson, Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones, and Kate McKinnon. Content note: guns go off, but no one is shot.

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