Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I agree with a lot of them (I enjoyed the relationship between Rey and Kylo in this film when sticking with my own non-romantic interpretation, but I can see that it could be interpreted otherwise and that bothers me).
I did have a different reaction to Vice Admiral Holdo (Laura Dern). I can see why watching the Resistance engage in tropes of traditional military obedience would be counter intuitive (though given Rose is stunning people and turning them in for desertion I think they do run themselves as some kind of military force in that sense - but that doesn't necessarily mean it will feel thematically coherent).
Anyway, a few points that may or may not explain my reaction. I really loved Poe learning about leadership from middle-aged women in evening wear, and I also loved that this involved him not being pandered to or coddled. Like, viewing it in a wider social context, it shouldn't automatically be the woman's job to placate the grouchy man who is refusing to respect her authority. She shouldn't have to expend extra effort ensuring he won't fuck things up for her. I know that those gender dynamics aren't why you wanted her to talk to him (it's about the way the Resistance should work vs the First Order works). But I think that the story does serve as a refutation of those dynamics.
And I think that looking at the interaction through that lens meant that I had extra sympathy for why Space Laura Dern refused to engage with Poe. "Vice Admiral Holdo, of the Battle of Chyron? Not what I expected..." implies that even though he has great respect for Leia, he is judging the Vice Admiral on her looks and more feminine demeanor. Also from her perspective, his recent behaviour was dangerously reckless. He disobeyed Leia's order and lost their entire bombing fleet, seriously weakening their position. She may see what Leia sees in him and like him personally, but she can't trust him right now, and that's because of his actions. If she told him the plan, he could continue to argue against it - in front of frightened crew members who she felt needed unity and leadership. I'm not saying it was the right call, but I can understand why she made it.
As to Plan A/Plan B - I'm not sure that would have improved the situation, ultimately. The evacuation plan failed because, when Finn and Rose were captured, the hacker cut a deal and sold them out. So like, had she okayed it, the same thing would probably have happened. My suspicion is that Poe was right in his assessment that she'd turn his request down because she was trying to avoid the additional risk. Which in hindsight she was right about (though of course it could have gone the other way).
Anyway, this is getting tl;dr! As I said, I can see why you'd find it disappointing, but I liked it.
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I did have a different reaction to Vice Admiral Holdo (Laura Dern). I can see why watching the Resistance engage in tropes of traditional military obedience would be counter intuitive (though given Rose is stunning people and turning them in for desertion I think they do run themselves as some kind of military force in that sense - but that doesn't necessarily mean it will feel thematically coherent).
Anyway, a few points that may or may not explain my reaction. I really loved Poe learning about leadership from middle-aged women in evening wear, and I also loved that this involved him not being pandered to or coddled. Like, viewing it in a wider social context, it shouldn't automatically be the woman's job to placate the grouchy man who is refusing to respect her authority. She shouldn't have to expend extra effort ensuring he won't fuck things up for her. I know that those gender dynamics aren't why you wanted her to talk to him (it's about the way the Resistance should work vs the First Order works). But I think that the story does serve as a refutation of those dynamics.
And I think that looking at the interaction through that lens meant that I had extra sympathy for why Space Laura Dern refused to engage with Poe. "Vice Admiral Holdo, of the Battle of Chyron? Not what I expected..." implies that even though he has great respect for Leia, he is judging the Vice Admiral on her looks and more feminine demeanor. Also from her perspective, his recent behaviour was dangerously reckless. He disobeyed Leia's order and lost their entire bombing fleet, seriously weakening their position. She may see what Leia sees in him and like him personally, but she can't trust him right now, and that's because of his actions. If she told him the plan, he could continue to argue against it - in front of frightened crew members who she felt needed unity and leadership. I'm not saying it was the right call, but I can understand why she made it.
As to Plan A/Plan B - I'm not sure that would have improved the situation, ultimately. The evacuation plan failed because, when Finn and Rose were captured, the hacker cut a deal and sold them out. So like, had she okayed it, the same thing would probably have happened. My suspicion is that Poe was right in his assessment that she'd turn his request down because she was trying to avoid the additional risk. Which in hindsight she was right about (though of course it could have gone the other way).
Anyway, this is getting tl;dr! As I said, I can see why you'd find it disappointing, but I liked it.