Are you thinking of Siri Hustvedt? I posted her article 'Arms at rest' in my journal in 2008! And yes, that's exactly the kind of thing I'm thinking of-- acceptance can be freeing. If you accept your life as it is, even the crappy parts of it, it's hard work but it's amazing how it opens doors. Disability Studies has a lot to say about this, as does John Kabat-Zinn. Wendell writes about how accepting her illness, to her, was about trying to rebuild her life, but her able-bodied friends saw it as "giving up hope" and kept trying to suggest methods for her to investigate to get better. I was like--YES--I have felt that.