Kink and Disability Links; Access is for Everyone

[sasha_feather]

awils1 posted this in disability: Kink, disability, and ableist prescription of what we are allowed to do; a set of 3 links.

I particularly liked this passage from a feminist pro-SM website:

As far as the observation you mention... I honestly think kinky orientations are quite common among people with disabilities, and I've been open before about my opinion that some people's anti-SM sentiments (or better said anti-pain play sentiments) strike me as honestly ableist.

Because what they boil down to is telling people how they can, or how they ought, use their bodies. What kinds of stimulation mean pleasure, and what kind mean badness. It's taking a normative body-map and saying everyone should fit it, and if you don't you're consenting to be abused.

What I hear when I hear people say liking pain play is "abnormal", when by that they mean wrong, bad, or unhealthy, is the same thing I hear when someone tells me that oh, sure, wheelchairs are great, but it's really natural to walk.

***

Just thought that was interesting. All of the links are interesting!

Also I made my first post to access_fandom; check it out. One thing I like out about the word "Access" is that is not specific to those of us who identify as disabled Access benefits everyone whether they identify as disabled or not.

A good example is curb cuts, which are in place legally for wheelchair users. They also benefit people with strollers, wagons, wheeled luggage, hand carts, and probably other things I'm not thinking of. Same with automatic door openers. Same with water service, quiet places, etc. Having a more accessible world is in some ways about having a more usable and humane world.

Comments

[seaya.livejournal.com]

You don't want to see the description of the latest SGU character.

[sasha-feather.livejournal.com]

Oh, I already saw it-- in deadbrowalking, in disability at DW, in sheafrotherdon's journal! Heh! But yeah, seeing that and these links together was timely. There are so many alarm bells going off about SGU as it is. :o I think I'll be staying far away from that show.

[xanthophyllippa.livejournal.com]

Because what they boil down to is telling people how they can, or how they ought, use their bodies.

Why does having an anti-kink sentiment automaticallly boil down to this? Why can't someone just not be interested in (or approving of) kink, if they DON'T also tell someone else how they ought to use their bodies? And even if they do, why is saying "you shouldn't X" (where X can be, say, "handcuff your partner to the ceiling fan") de facto abelist?

I guess what I mean is, why does saying, "Bleah, not into kink" make me abelist, whereas you saying Toby Keith makes your spleen bleed is an aesthetic pronouncement? I didn't read the original you linked to - and I'm not going to, since bleah, not into kink or even thinking about kink - but I don't think I appreciate the assumptions and judgment that one line embodies. It's no better to assume everyone with "anti-kink sentiments" judges folks who aren't anti than it is to assume that disabilities or physical challenges preclude an interest in kink in the first place.

Sorry. That set me off.

[sasha-feather.livejournal.com]

I agree with you that this particular blogger seems to be using sort of a broad brush and not going into enough context. I think there is some context that I'm missing, embedded in this subculture, that I'm just sort of getting into and cannot address in full. My guess is that the kink community feels oppressed by the wider culture in some way; there is probably evidence to support this but again I'm not the authority. And I think the blogger is responding to that pressure, that pressure to normalize their sexuality, which is similar to the pressure to normalize one's body in other ways. I find that parallel interesting.

Certainly it could have been worded better in the blog. In fact I think *I* just worded it better. ;)

Of course it's fine to not be into something, and not have that be an ableist perspective, as long as you're not telling other people that it's somehow morally reprehensible to be into that thing and therefore they should stop doing it, it is wrong OMG. (Which, um, makes me reconsider my stance on Toby Keith, since on some level I do find him morally reprehensible, hah).

I have more to say on the politics that I'm learning about kink through kink_bingo, but I'll spare you those at present.