sasha_feather (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sasha_feather) wrote2020-08-09 01:12 pm
sasha_feather) wrote2020-08-09 01:12 pm
Entry tags:
Chronic illness, Star Trek, Trust
Having a type of anxiety dream lately where I'm trying to work, but am too sick to work. Sometimes it's school, or a formal job, or a household job like washing piles of dishes. I keep trying to push myself and it's not successful.
This is something that I did, of course, for maybe 15 years. My brain is still processing it and will be for a long time.
I re-read this lovely essay by my friend Nicasio Andres Reed:
"You Have only Your Trust in Me": Star Trek and the power of mutual belief.
https://uncannymagazine.com/article/you-have-only-your-trust-in-me-star-trek-and-the-power-of-mutual-belief/
How wonderful and empowering it is to believe people about their experiences, and to trust them. I didn't feel believed about my illness when it came to my family. I didn't fully trust people I worked with, even at my better jobs. I still don't get the sense that my doctors understand my experience (again, even the better docs), which is maybe why I have a persistent fantasy about being treated by a Star Fleet doctor.
The people I came to trust, the people that believed me, were my friends. People from fandom, mostly. Other disabled folks, people of color, trans and queer people. Thank you friends, for this.
jesse_the_k in particular demonstrates the "I believe you, what can I do to help?" attitude, and she brings this to access work. This is why we say, Access is first and foremost an attitude. It is this attitude, an open, trusting, non-judgmental attitude, that is so transformative. It is part of the future I want to inhabit.
This is something that I did, of course, for maybe 15 years. My brain is still processing it and will be for a long time.
I re-read this lovely essay by my friend Nicasio Andres Reed:
"You Have only Your Trust in Me": Star Trek and the power of mutual belief.
https://uncannymagazine.com/article/you-have-only-your-trust-in-me-star-trek-and-the-power-of-mutual-belief/
How wonderful and empowering it is to believe people about their experiences, and to trust them. I didn't feel believed about my illness when it came to my family. I didn't fully trust people I worked with, even at my better jobs. I still don't get the sense that my doctors understand my experience (again, even the better docs), which is maybe why I have a persistent fantasy about being treated by a Star Fleet doctor.
The people I came to trust, the people that believed me, were my friends. People from fandom, mostly. Other disabled folks, people of color, trans and queer people. Thank you friends, for this.
jesse_the_k in particular demonstrates the "I believe you, what can I do to help?" attitude, and she brings this to access work. This is why we say, Access is first and foremost an attitude. It is this attitude, an open, trusting, non-judgmental attitude, that is so transformative. It is part of the future I want to inhabit.