sasha_feather (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sasha_feather) wrote2024-06-20 12:58 am
sasha_feather) wrote2024-06-20 12:58 am
Entry tags:
going thru it
Stress, family, health stuff under the cut.
Thank you all for your encouraging comments and for thinking of me. I had another high-pain, exhausting day. I did call neurology and speak to a nurse there, asking if the med withdrawal is (in their opinion) likely to cause my symptoms. I am waiting for a message back. Even trying to describe my symptoms is tough, it's like, ok everything just hurts all the time...? How long has this been going on, well, I don't remember really but probably months.
I sent a message to the family group chat indicating I can't make it this weekend to the get-together. They did not reply. My family, while consisting of many wonderful people, are odd. I don't think it's just me that has trouble with communication here.
It can be hard to shake the feeling that I did something wrong or that it is something about me that is making me feel isolated and alone. I suppose if I had, it would be easier to fix. A lot of problems in my life right now have no obvious or attainable solutions. Micro goals! A little bit at a time.
I did a great puzzle that is all book cover art of American novels. Really an ideal puzzle because a) not actually difficult, b) good subject matter, and c) 1000 pieces means it takes a few days to finish. It would be fun to make more puzzles like this of book covers; you could make ones for various genres.
Yesterday I had a modicum of energy and went into books to prisoners for a few minutes, mostly to talk to a local journalist. That was really fun, I miss going to sessions. I love thinking and talking about activism, queerness, ideas, books.
Watched:
After Midnight, really good one today with Patton Oswalt, Terry Crews, Joe Manganiello, all just having a blast together.
A Court of Fey and Flowers - my first experience watching an 'Actual Play' of table-top roleplaying. I don't always understand what is going on, which is frustrating at times and makes me feel like I'm working too hard cognitively. The solution here is to try and just enjoy it without following every little thing. The actors are amazing and I especially love Aabria, the DM.
Dropout TV is really good, they center respect and kindness in their humor. I'm caught up on Smartypants and Thousandaires, two new shows.
Thank you all for your encouraging comments and for thinking of me. I had another high-pain, exhausting day. I did call neurology and speak to a nurse there, asking if the med withdrawal is (in their opinion) likely to cause my symptoms. I am waiting for a message back. Even trying to describe my symptoms is tough, it's like, ok everything just hurts all the time...? How long has this been going on, well, I don't remember really but probably months.
I sent a message to the family group chat indicating I can't make it this weekend to the get-together. They did not reply. My family, while consisting of many wonderful people, are odd. I don't think it's just me that has trouble with communication here.
It can be hard to shake the feeling that I did something wrong or that it is something about me that is making me feel isolated and alone. I suppose if I had, it would be easier to fix. A lot of problems in my life right now have no obvious or attainable solutions. Micro goals! A little bit at a time.
I did a great puzzle that is all book cover art of American novels. Really an ideal puzzle because a) not actually difficult, b) good subject matter, and c) 1000 pieces means it takes a few days to finish. It would be fun to make more puzzles like this of book covers; you could make ones for various genres.
Yesterday I had a modicum of energy and went into books to prisoners for a few minutes, mostly to talk to a local journalist. That was really fun, I miss going to sessions. I love thinking and talking about activism, queerness, ideas, books.
Watched:
After Midnight, really good one today with Patton Oswalt, Terry Crews, Joe Manganiello, all just having a blast together.
A Court of Fey and Flowers - my first experience watching an 'Actual Play' of table-top roleplaying. I don't always understand what is going on, which is frustrating at times and makes me feel like I'm working too hard cognitively. The solution here is to try and just enjoy it without following every little thing. The actors are amazing and I especially love Aabria, the DM.
Dropout TV is really good, they center respect and kindness in their humor. I'm caught up on Smartypants and Thousandaires, two new shows.
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*hugs*
I am currently tapering off a medication that gave me some of the first actual pain relief I had experienced in literal decades because it also gave me an unmanageable weird side effect. So, solidarity on that front, too.
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I'm so sorry about the pain. I hope you hear back soon and also that the pain lessens.
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