Grumpy Old Men

[sasha_feather]

I recently re-watched "Grumpy Old Men" with my roommate. Part of the reason I loved this movie when I was younger was because it portrayed our Minnesotan culture in winter, dealing with snow and ice fishing and a sort of friendly grumpiness. Unfortunately the Jewish elements were a bit too subtle for my young eyes and went right over my head at the time, but I caught them this time around.

Something that stood out for me is when Ariel asks John Gustafson (old older Swedish-Minnesotan man) if he is straight or gay. He sputters and is totally taken aback. He says something like, maybe you can ask those kinds of questions in California, but not here!

I'm trying to be more forthright (straight forward is not the word), but it's swimming against a lot of culture, going back generations all the way back to Sweden.

Comments

[frayadjacent]

I enjoyed reading your conversation with isagel and kuwdora about this on twitter. I am not from the midwest but I have Swedish ancestors (they started in North Dakota and then moved on to eastern Washington), and I don't remember ever feeling more like someone was describing my family than when I listened to Prairie Home Companion.

But then I grew up in New Mexico, which has a different set of expectations re: directness and indirectness, so for me it's a bit of a mix. What I got from my family and what I got from my peers weren't always the same.

But since I moved to Australia I've found I can embrace the stereotype of the assertive/aggressive/rude American, and be way more assertive than people around me are. So I'm constantly the one shouting for people to move to the back of the bus to make room, etc.

Do you find you get pushback when you're more forthright? (I mean in face-to-face situations, as opposed to online.)

[sasha_feather]

It seems like the few times I've managed it in analog space, people really listen to me, and don't push back. On one memorable occasion, a man completely deflated and suddenly started treating me like an authority figure. I manage to access this behavior better at conventions or when I'm around "my people" (ie feminists).

Ditto to your feelings re Prairie Home Companion!

[frayadjacent]

that must have been pretty satisfying, with the deflated man!