Horses are good company -- The Witcher

https://www.fansplaining.com/episodes/186a-disability-and-fandom-part-1

Contains a full transcript and show notes with links! I have a bit in this at the end.

(x-posted to access fandom).

Hello! I am doing decently well right now. Not much energy for reading, but trying to write a little bit. I am enjoying Joy Fest and finding the low-pressure prompts to be inspiring. It's a fest for celebrating characters of color. I have 2 stories going.

Joy Fest rules post is here:
https://longwhitecoats.dreamwidth.org/180511.html

Prompts are here:
https://longwhitecoats.dreamwidth.org/180918.html

Reading Old Guard fic reminded me of how ignorant I am about world history. I never learned it in school: I had one world history class in middle school, but I was afraid of the teacher (incorrectly, it turned out). You don't retain much knowledge when you're afraid of your teacher.

So anyways, I asked a friend for YouTube recs, and I'm going to watch John Greene's Crash Course series:

https://thecrashcourse.com/courses/worldhistory1?page=2

He talks super fast, but the length of each episode is short, and it's entertaining.

Meme modified from something I saw on Twitter that is a "song a day" meme. The idea is to fill one prompt a day, but I will be going at my own pace. Feel free to copy this, modify it, whatever.

Post about a fanwork (art, fic, podfic, vid, etc) that:

1. Has a color in the title
2. Has a number in the title
3. Features summer
4. Is in a fandom from your past
5. Makes you feel joyful
6. Features dancing or athletics
7. Features a trip of some kind
8. Is about food in some way
9. Features snow or winter activity
10. Makes you sad or contemplative
11. You keep coming back to (re-reading, re-listening, etc).
12. A fanwork created by a favorite writer/artist/podficcer/vidder.
13. Features technology or robots.
14. is about a favorite character.
15. Features music.

Sophinisba is a dynamite, experienced, awesome pod ficcer, and you should check out her stuff!

[Podfic] Bucky's Reasons for Staying Alive (27 words) by sophinisba
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Darcy Lewis
Additional Tags: Podfic, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: M4B, Audio Format: Streaming, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Plants, Gardens & Gardening, Service Dogs, Panic Attacks, Bucky Barnes Has Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Disability, Headaches & Migraines, OT3, Threesome - M/M/M, Pesach | Passover, Veterans, Coping, Therapy, Anxiety
Summary:

sasha_feather's story read aloud: A gentle story about Bucky dealing with PTSD and anxiety by finding hobbies and connecting with the world. This contains a description of a panic attack.

Everyone in my house is tired today, including the dog.

Nothing much to report here. I found this article on the "anti" phenomenon to be very helpful for understanding what is going on in fandom.

Toxic Fandom: When criticism and entitlement go too far.
By Sean Z, with additional reporting by Aria C.

https://geekdad.com/2018/10/toxic-fandom-when-criticism-and-entitlement-go-too-far/

While some fans may be on a purity/ morality crusade, this article makes the case that certain people in fandom are interested in waging harassment campaigns, and have co-opted the language of social justice in order to do so. It also talks about how Tumblr, as a platform, fueled this fire due to the way it is set up.

[content note: mental illness, coming out]
*I'm not sure that "illness" is the right word to use here; but not sure what fits better.

A couple of works of art that I feel reflect some aspects of my own particular kind of mental illness.

I recently watched "Evening on the Ground," an SGA vid by hollywoodgrrl. I can't find a link to this online at the moment (if anyone has it, please comment and I will add the link). This vid uses very fast cutting. It's a character study of John Sheppard, a war veteran and soldier who probably has PTSD, guilt issues, and anxiety. I do not mean to compare my experience to his, but this one particular little piece, the fast cutting, represents to me the sense of having your thoughts happen too fast. It is a disorienting and stressful experience. Your mind and heart race. You know too much, you feel too much.

In dira sudis' story "Sell your body to the night",
(https://archiveofourown.org/works/2838161)
(a podfic is also available:https://archiveofourown.org/works/5145440)
Stile is dealing with a specific trauma. His mind compartmentalizes and he very carefully does not think about the trauma. He is in survival mode; he lives according to a specific set of rules and routines that he has created. He knows that if he thinks about the trauma, he will come apart.

The type of compartmentalization is something that happened to me when I was in the closet. I kept my anxiety and my feelings *away* somewhere in order to function in the world. It was not a conscious process. When I finally did come out, I fell apart for a while. My thoughts came too fast and I felt too much.

Now, I am so good at compartmentalization that it happens automatically. I function well in the world, for the most part, but I end up never processing certain things that have happened to me. And then I have panic attacks.

It is soothing to think about art that is reflective of my seemingly unusual experience. Perhaps it is not so unusual, but I don't hear people talk about it much, or see this kind of experience portrayed in mainstream art or entertainment.

Day 9 - Post at least three recs for fanworks that you have created.

I haven't read any of these in a long time, fair warning.

Silenciar (1222 words) by sasha_feather
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Losers (2010)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez/Jake Jensen
Characters: Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez, Jake Jensen
Additional Tags: Community: kink_bingo, Silence Kink, Canon Character of Color


Head and Shoulders (1549 words) by sasha_feather
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Leverage
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Parker/Eliot Spencer, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Background Parker/Alec Hardison, Background Eliot Spencer/Alec Hardison
Characters: Parker, Eliot Spencer, Alec Hardison
Additional Tags: Trans Male Character, Community: kink_bingo, Sex Toys, First Time, Strap-Ons, Trans Character, Hair, Eliot's hair is amazing, OT3
Summary:

A PWP featuring trans-masculine Eliot and Parker.

Yippee Ki Yay, DaddyFucker (3732 words) by sasha_feather
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Matt Farrell/John McClane
Characters: John McClane, Matt Farrell
Additional Tags: Age Difference, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Phone Sex, Star Trek References, Alien references, assholes in love, cross play, alternating pov, Established Relationship, cross dressing, PWP, Community: sexy_right
Summary:

Matt ran his hands over John’s bald head, pulled him down, and said too loudly, “Yeah, Daddy, give it to me.”

Create a fannish wishlist

1. Fic using "they" pronouns for the main characters. I have so many friends using they/them/theirs pronouns and I'd like to see that reflected in fic.

2. A new, juggernaut femslash ship with 1000+ fics on ao3. Let's do it, fandom!

3. Leave comments/feedback on fan works.

Decided to try using Tumblr a bit more.

https://www.tumblr.com/angelictroublemaker

I put up a couple of WisCon-related / disability posts at my Wordpress blog:
https://accessthis.wordpress.com/

Vid Discussion Panel with myself, metatext, brainwane, were_duck, and cyborganize. For a list of all vids, please see http://wiscon-vidparty.dreamwidth.org/12762.html

These notes are from memory; any mistakes are my own and please correct me! We mostly talked about the premier vids.

We discussed brainwane's premiere, Pipeline, quite a bit. Brainwane has written about her vid on her journal including sources. This was brainwane's first vid and she did a lot of research into how to use still footage and how to make a multivid; she was very pleased with people's response to the vid. Women used to make up a lot of the tech world but have been pushed out. Similarly, women are recruited into tech but then are pushed out due to hostile work environments. Someone in the audience said that in Mongolia, Ghengis Khan had his daughters inherit power in the capitol city and his sons took over the outlying territories. But when the daughters died, the sons came in and literally scratched the daughters' names off of the stone because it was shameful to them to have women in power.

I don't remember what we said about garrideb's Pretty Deadly vid, "Hope in the Air", except a lot of Ooooh, it is beatiful, and great song choice! Brainwane said that the still techniques were different than what she had researched for her vid.

For starlady's vid, "Just a Dream Away", people joked that hardcore ST fans will brag about seeing "everything" in the Star Trek universe but will not have seen the animated series. But what is great about the series is the camp, and the way it uses animation to do things that traditional film cannot (such as tentacles), and this vid celebrates that. I loved the humor in this vid, and the way it centers women.

For seekingferret's vid "Cassavetes", metatxt explained that Cassavetes was a controversial, prolific film maker who did not share credit easily. The band here, Le Tigre, is a feminist band, and the question they pose in the song is one we struggle with in fandom: how do we react to problematic characters? No person is all good or all bad; when we elevate them, what does that mean? A very WisCon-appropriate question.

Other vids that the panelists and audience mentioned as being particularly note-worthy:
Roxane Samer's Orphan Black vid, Gold Rush, which intercuts footage with intersectional feminist quotes
Silent Fandoms by Ghost-Lingering. were-duck liked the vidder's subtitles which were quite meta and contributed to a community, in-the-moment feeling
Repeated use of the song "Blank Space" in 3 vids (Pipeline; Purple_fringe and such_height's Dr. Who vid; and sleepygeeky's Power Rangers/Fair Use vid). Interesting to note how the meaning of the song seems to change in each vid.
Losing my Religion by rhoboat. Such intense feelings and the song really stood out for people, as it is a cover of a familiar song.
Pressure (Quantum Leap/vidding) by the California Crew. A spotlight on vidders, in the VHS/analog age. were-duck mentioned that when you see what they are actually vidding, you can see that it is in the service of smut, which is so great.