sasha_feather: John and Rodney from Stargate: Atlantis (love of your life)
I have been struggling for the last week or so with rib pain, asthma, and congestion. Yesterday the extreme cold snap broke, which seemed to help quite a bit. Abbie and I were able to get out to the dog park for the first time in maybe 2 weeks? Which really helps my mood and hers. Acclimation is a real and amazing thing; 17 degrees F feels balmy, and I was sweating in my layers of clothes. I've been doing just about everything I can think of for the rib pain and asthma, but not much is making a dent really.

I still don't have my Enbrel and I've been too sick to work on anything except taking care of myself and the dog.

I listened to a couple of old favorites from the SGA fandom:

This Gun's For Hire by Helenish, read by Helens78. If you want the text version of this, you have to use the WayBack machine, but the podfic is on the Ao3.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/602672

Healing Station Argh, by [personal profile] toft,
https://archiveofourown.org/works/205871

A friend sent me the podfic, since the link for that is currently broken.
sasha_feather: Nux running (mad max) (nux running)
Sophinisba is a dynamite, experienced, awesome pod ficcer, and you should check out her stuff!

[Podfic] Bucky's Reasons for Staying Alive (27 words) by sophinisba
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Darcy Lewis
Additional Tags: Podfic, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: M4B, Audio Format: Streaming, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Plants, Gardens & Gardening, Service Dogs, Panic Attacks, Bucky Barnes Has Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Disability, Headaches & Migraines, OT3, Threesome - M/M/M, Pesach | Passover, Veterans, Coping, Therapy, Anxiety
Summary:

sasha_feather's story read aloud: A gentle story about Bucky dealing with PTSD and anxiety by finding hobbies and connecting with the world. This contains a description of a panic attack.

sasha_feather: a head full of interesting things (head space)
I’m trying to write every day despite having bad facial pain that affects everything, which in turn is probably due to poor breathing from the polar vortex cold weather. This means I’m doing most things pretty slowly, but I still want to do them.

When I was 28 I had a bizarre coming out experience. Some of you were there to read along with it, others I didn’t know yet. This experience defied description, but some words and some stories do come close, or have something in common with my experience and resonate with me. They have to do with compartmentalization, which Wikipedia defines as:

“a subconscious psychological defense mechanism used to avoid cognitive dissonance, or the mental discomfort and anxiety caused by a person's having conflicting values, cognitions, emotions, beliefs, etc. within themselves.”

For me, compartmentalization was a way to deal with having severe anxiety, and with perceiving that the world is not safe for queer people. I walled off part of myself, and could only fully access this part when my mind was ready.

Fanfic and book recs follow. Many of these I haven’t read in a long time, so I can’t provide content notes.

Numberless the Ways, and Imperceptible. LOTR, Legolas/Gimli, by Laura JV.
Text: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13680141
Podfic by exmanhater: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14226666

One has the capacity to feel things, but at the same time not perceive them. Different levels or areas of your brain are not fully communicating. Things happen in their own time. Sometimes people on the outside like friends and family, can see what is happening more clearly than the person experiencing this phenomenon.

In the YA novel Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, by Benjamin Alire Saenz, the character Ari comes from a family that doesn’t talk about things. There are important subjects that are taboo, and there are secrets. Ari compartmentalizes his feelings about his best friend Dante. Interestingly the author also came out later in his life. (audiobook is read by Lin-Manuel Miranda).

By Any Other Name, by entangled now, Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles
https://archiveofourown.org/works/566258
Podfic by Rhea: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589131

Amnesia fic isn’t quite the same, but shares some resonances. Namely, that the characters start the story lacking full use of their memories, and by the end (in this trope), the characters have their minds and narratives re-integrated. The amnesia can serve as dis-inhibition, or gaining a new perspective on one’s self and one’s relationship. The mind can sort of step outside of its normal pathways.

In Mirror Dance by Lois McMaster Bujold, Miles temporarily loses his memory. When he regains all of his memories, he experiences a “cascade” when they come rushing back in. This was the closest term I had to my experience of having my thoughts race, replaying and reanalyzing memories with a new lens, as I felt my brain re-align itself.

Sell Your Body to the Night, by dira sudis, Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles
Text: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2838161
Podfic by thilia: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5145440

In this epic work, Stiles experiences a trauma and runs away to San Francisco to become a sex worker. He puts the knowledge of his trauma away and very carefully does not allow himself to think about it. He acts in ways that may seem dangerous to others, but which feel safe to him. He maintains a strict sort of control over his life, in order to protect himself from too-powerful feelings.

Compartmentalization seems to me to be a normal coping strategy in response to anxiety, to trauma, or to living in a dangerous world.

I am interested in reading more stories like these if you know of them. Podfic and audio books are especially preferred but not necessary.



Poll #21224 akudospoll
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 18


So, what did you think?

View Answers

Kudos!
18 (100.0%)

Podfic Recs

Oct. 3rd, 2018 12:41 pm
sasha_feather: alexander siddig  (alexander siddig)
[Podfic] Stately Homes of Wiltshire (44 words) by Lazulus
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Pansy Parkinson
Additional Tags: Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic
Summary:

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.



My notes: This one is so funny and cute and just nice. I love how the reader emphasizes the humor. About 6 hours.

[Podfic of] Numberless the ways, and imperceptible. (29 words) by exmanhater
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Gimli (Son of Glóin)/Legolas Greenleaf
Characters: Legolas Greenleaf, Gimli (Son of Glóin), Aragorn | Estel, Arwen Undómiel
Additional Tags: Podfic, Podfic Length: 45-60 Minutes, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Audio Format: M4B, reverse pining, Pining
Summary:

"The conceptualization of emotion feeling as a phase of a neurobiological process is congruent with the idea that emotions can be sensed and registered in phenomenal consciousness and at low levels of awareness without being perceived."


Izard, Carroll E. "Emotion theory and research: Highlights, unanswered questions, and emerging issues." Annual review of psychology 60 (2009): 1-25.



My notes: Highly relatable, in that Legolas does not know how he feels or what he wants. Exmanhater is such a great reader. About an hour.

[Podfic] The Trouble With Miles (10 words) by cantarina
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Julian Bashir/Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien, Julian Bashir/Miles O'Brien, Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien
Characters: Julian Bashir, Keiko O'Brien, Miles O'Brien
Additional Tags: Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 2.5-3 Hours, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: M4B, Polyamory, Pre-Threesome, Mutual Pining, Drunken Kissing, implied Garak/Bashir
Summary:

Author's Summary:
And now the story of a wide-eyed doctor and a grumbling engineer who just couldn't seem to resolve their own overwhelming mutual romantic tension, and the one wife who had to resort to schemes to bring them all together.

An examination of scenes from a variety of episodes, and some extrapolation.



My notes: Another funny and cute fic. Includes actual scenes from the show, that I now see in a different light. Read by the wonderful cantarina.
sasha_feather: Janelle Monae against a blue background (Janelle monae)
1. Lesbian photos from the 1970s, black and white, partial nudity
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/14/lens/donna-gottschalk-photography.html

2. Podfic: Stately Homes of Wiltshire, written by waspabi, read by lazulus.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12094104

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

3. Vid: Gettin' Bi, by [personal profile] thingswithwings. A celebration of bi characters on TV.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15606177

Podfic rec

Sep. 11th, 2012 07:30 pm
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Sherlock glass)
Title: The Case of the Disappearing Oxfords
Author: mific
Podficcer: [personal profile] glittertine
Fandom: Sherlock (BBC)
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Rating: NC-17
notes: explicit, shoe fetish

Summary: "Is it the shoes as such, or the fact that I’ve worn them?"
Length: 15m

Post at amplificathon:
http://amplificathon.dreamwidth.org/2029844.html
(Please leave feedback for glittertine there or at AO3!)

I purchased this fic as part of a charity auction to send anatsuno to Australia. It is a lovely story and I loved this reading of it by glittertine. She has a great voice.
sasha_feather: topless woman licking a gun (gunplay)
[personal profile] sophinisba: Piquancy podfic; Buffy/Faith, explicit, 9 minutes, mp3.

If you have a listen, be sure to leave some feedback for your podficcer. :)
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
Attention Podfic enthusiasts! The Amplirecathon is running Jan 18 thru Feb 1 and sign-ups are now open. Click below to learn more.

amplirecathon promo image cc celine nadeau
sasha_feather: John and Rodney from Stargate: Atlantis (love of your life)
I think you should read this fic, Blood and Oil, by [personal profile] anna_bird. It is Firefly, Kaylee/Simon, rated adult. It's a snapshot of Simon's life, his headspace post-Serenity, and it's vivid and real.

If you haven't read Homo Ex Machina by [personal profile] toft, well, read it. READ IT. It's Holmes/Watson and oh so NC-17.

***

I HAVE SUCH A MIGRAINE RIGHT NOW AND I FEEL THE NEED TO SAY IT IN CAPSLOCK.

***

Mostly for my own reference, I'm writing down the podfic I listened to on my trip. (But if you see any errors feel free to point them out.) Someday perhaps I will get around to leaving actual feedback on these.

lotsa SGA podfic! )

I also listened to some music, which was basically: Neko Case > play all.
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
I listened to the first part of Mobius today, by estefee, read by wihluta.

There was one bit that I wanted to post because, yeah. This is just exactly right, about chronic pain.

Read more... )
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (horse)
Such a beautiful day! I went for a nature walk, listened to Fair Trade by esteefee, read by wihluta. Very good!

Here are 3 pictures and some thoughts about podfic and associations:

Read more... )

Then [livejournal.com profile] cabell and I went to the mall for a while, and later I went out to eat with [personal profile] corvid and [livejournal.com profile] tasiha. Had very interesting conversations.

I pushed myself a little too hard with all the walking and activity, found myself exhausted, and did not go to my last scheduled activity of the day (helping someone move).
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
I am liveblogging my experience with my new Podfic interface device, more commonly known as an MP3 player. I'm feeling peakish today, and this is a nice activity that involves little movement.

I went with [livejournal.com profile] wyoluvr's rec and bought a blue Sansa clip. Sansa! Like the character in Song of Ice and Fire! Too bad she's so annoying, because it's a cool name. Also, possibly she will get less annoying in later books?

It is SO CUTE, you guys. Very, very small. I'm not quite so sure why the smallness is desirable; it should come with a magnifying glass. I can imagine that people with hand difficulties or large fingers have trouble with the controls on these.

While it charges via my laptop, I'm downloading fic, mostly via [personal profile] thingswithwings' rec posts. Many tabs are open. I'm going to have to make a new folder! Just like I did with vids! I'm reaching new levels of fannish involvement, and it is exciting.

OH I ALSO BOUGHT THE FIFTH SEASON OF SGA. I'm not quite sure if that merits a /o\ or a \o/.

And I filled out an application for an apartment-- one directly across the hall from some friends of mine (antarcticlust and JackShoeGazer). And had a walk & lunch with [personal profile] jesse_the_k. What a productive day!

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. **Prudes beware**

At a fannish gathering last night, we got to talking about, "Did your parents ever give you the sex talk?" For some reason, mine never did, at least not that I can recall. Which is a bit odd: my mom's a nurse and I grew up on a farm. The facts of life were clear from a young age, what with all the animal husbandry and lambing season etc, and I'm pretty sure my parents knew I was not having sex in high school. So maybe that's why. But I wonder if my brothers got The Talk and I didn't, you know?

The others reported that their experiences were at turns awkward, negative, terse, straightforward, or were given too late.

So, friends list, what about you? I'm curious.
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
Today we listed to:

A long, sekkrit story that we beta-listened, that I can't write of! Too bad for you!

Attack of the Giant Robot from Outer Space! by skoosiepants, read by [personal profile] anatsuno. VERY FUNNY!

Fun with Comas by [personal profile] toft, read by anatsuno. Brilliant and great!

Scars by [personal profile] cesperanza

Amnesia by Cesperanza. Oh John!

How to succeed in sex slavery without really trying; by [personal profile] astolat. This one was a little too non-con for us. But it was only about 10 minutes long.

This is how it Happens; by [personal profile] aphelant. 3 minutes of wonderful smut.
sasha_feather: a head full of interesting things (head space)

If you want me to interview you--post a comment that simply says, "Interview me." I'll respond with questions for you to take back to your own journal and answer as a post. Of course, they'll be different for each person since this is an interview and not a general survey. At the bottom of your post, after answering the Interviewer's questions, you ask if anyone wants to be interviewed. So it becomes your turn-- in the comments, you ask them any questions you have for them to take back to their journals and answer. And so it becomes the circle.


Wonderful questions from [personal profile] wintercreek

1. Tea or coffee or something else?

I have recently come around to tea: iced tea, chai, greens, herbals, mint, chamomile, and others. I like to hang out at a tea house, which helps my appreciation, and I'm so happy to have started liking tea because it gives me more beverage options! I don't like coffee-- it's bitter.

2. Roadtripping with podfic: what are your observations? Are there podficcing conventions you noticed that could use some changing? Practices that one podficcer has that others should adopt? General awesomeness of podfic?

It was fantastically awesome and made our 7.5 hour trip go really fast! We actually looked forward to the drive in order to hear some stories we had picked out. I liked the readers who included the fic headers such as warnings. Our biggest problem was hearing the fic, which is a technology problem involving the iPod, the car stereo, road noise, fuzzing out due to being near stop lights and such; I'm not sure what's to be done about that. We had the stereo and iPod up as loud as they would go and still I had to giggle silently so I wouldn't giggle over the sound of hilarious fic!

I am relatively new to pod fic and I just loved it in this context. Most of the stories I had read before but not heard before, and it enhanced my love of them to hear them read aloud. Car trips are my favorite way to listen to things; even music I don't listen to all that much outside of driving. So this was an ideal opportunity to get some podfic time! I'm reflecting a bit now on the openness of sexuality in fannish communities and how awesome that is--- women listening to smut together and not finding it weird. I didn't have anything like this before fandom! I'm so glad to have it now.

3. Talk to me about photography. Does it affect how you see the world even when you don't have a camera in your hands?

Photography has nurtured my natural tendency to observe the beauty of the world around me, which is something I love about it. I notice natural light; when I'm waiting for my tea order I might think, ooh, the light is nice here, and I'll take my camera out. It's also turned my eye toward the beauty of the city in a way I like, since I'm deeply a nature and country person and it's taken me a while to learn to live in, and love, the city.

Something I've been very conscious of is putting up photos of people on the internet (see WisCon 32, cough cough), and I've been actively trying to apply this to my own self-image as well: post photos of myself, and allow others to do so. Don't be overly critical of those photos. I'm working on this. I do untag photos of myself on Facebook for reasons of vanity, but not often. As a feminist I try to own the way I look; I try to give and take the advice of being as kind to myself as I am to my friends, and to love the way I look. It's a process, and photography has helped, because I do take self-portraits. I think the way a photographer looks at other people, and themselves, can come through in their photographs, in subtle and unconscious ways-- it's best to examine that, and feminism has helped me with this, in conjunction with photography.

4. How do you find new fic to read? Rec lists, newsletters, Delicious, other?

When I was brand new to slash fandom, about 2 years ago, I relied heavily on rec lists, sga storyfinders, and intensively reading the same few authors that I knew I liked. Originally I asked for recs from [personal profile] fullygoldy and for a little while, she was the one person I knew to ask! These days, my fandom buddies and I pass around recs via email, and I watch my reading list/friends list for new fic and recs. I also read sga_noticeboard, but it's rare that I read outside of my favorite authors or recs from friends. Occasionally challenges and festivals will change that and introduce me to new authors--and I hope others are reading my stuff this way too!

5. What are the best and worst things about the Kindle?

I have an intense love for my Kindle the way some people love their iPods, their car, or their computer. It is gorgeous and it is my baby! I would say the best thing for me is that I can increase the text size, making text much easier to read than most print books, and that I can carry hundreds of books and fics with me wherever I go, all in 10.2 ounces.

So, generally speaking, the best thing about the Kindle is its disability friendliness. It's light to hold and carry, making it easier for those who can't hold or carry heavy books. It's easier on the eyes than computer screens, because it's not backlit. One can turn the page from both sides at the touch of a button, making it easier for those with hand impairments to turn the pages. The "Whispernet" wireless technology makes it so one can download a book in under a minute, so, if someone can't get to the bookstore because she or he is just too tired, or in too much pain, or immobile, or lives too far away, or the bookstore is closed because it's 2 AM, well, one can just download the book. PDFs, text, and HTML files are also available via emailing them to the Kindle. Also there is a text-to-speech feature! It isn't great in quality, but it is wonderful in that is universally incorporated in all Kindles!

I haven't found a personal "worst" yet. I have heard plenty of people express negative feelings about the Kindle, and many of these are around valid and important issues. Sometimes I feel like people are just saying, "I like paper books too much", and that's fine, that's their perogative, but-- I view that as a teachable moment about disability, which is when I launch into the above spiel. Paper books are not accessible to everyone. Paper books also don't need batteries and they have and will be around for millenia, so I don't feel like the one needs to be a threat to the other; I don't think it's an either/or.

Many people (including me) have genuine issues with Amazon as a company, fear the death of independent booksellers because of increased use of Amazon and eBooks, and feel that the high price of the Kindle is a barrier to access. I trust that the price will come down with time-- as we've seen with iPods and computers. I still buy paper books, even if I don't always read them (I really do prefer to read on the kindle). I support my local indie bookstore as best as I'm able. I seek sources of eBooks that are not Amazon, if I can, and I look for free ebooks. (If anyone knows of sources, do let me know!) Cory Doctorow does have some good things to say about free ebooks and pirating-- usually people who use the free items and who pirate are also the people who *buy*. They are the most loyal customers.

But, I'm still mulling over some of these ethical issues, and I look forward to seeing how some of this works out over time.
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Ronon Dex (SGA))
[personal profile] were_duck and I are on a trip to go to [personal profile] anna_bird's wedding! We drove for about 7 hours to get here, and for most of that time we listened to podfic. It was a beautiful day, with much sunshine and gorgeous clouds and a bit of rain. We even saw a big perfect rainbow! There is a stream by our motel and our motel has WIRELESS. There are 2 liters of my favorite soda, Diet Mountain Dew, in the mini fridge. I am very happy!

We listened to:

Freedom's Just another word for Nothing Left to Lose
And the band's playing hail to the chief; by [personal profile] synecdochic

But Where would they Live
The dreams they dare to Dream; by [personal profile] thingswithwings (In honor of the rainbow we saw!)

Bringing Sexy Back as only the ancients know How; by aphelant

2.7 miles from Williamsburg, New Mexico; by yin

4 ways chuck might have come to Atlantis and 1 way he really did; by aphelant

Them Other Boys Don't know how to act; by [personal profile] eleveninches

Group W Bench; by [personal profile] cesperanza, read by anatsuno

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