Horses are good company -- The Witcher

"The Feminist on Cell Block Y" - free to stream on CNN

This apparently does not have captions / subtitles but I want to recommend it anyway.

https://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2018/04/18/the-feminist-on-cellblock-y-doc-orig.cnn

It's a hopeful documentary about men taking a course on toxic masculinity. The main guy is a very good teacher.

Content notes: takes place in a prison. Non-graphic discussion of murder, abuse, rape culture.

Saw this on Tumblr and posting it here as a writing / blogging challenge:

The Audre Lorde questionnaire to oneself.

1. what are the words you do not have yet? [Or, “for what do you not have words, yet?”]

2. What do you need to say? [list as many things as necessary]

3. What are the tyrannies you swallow day by day and attempt to make your own, until you will sicken and die of them, still in silence? [List as many as necessary today. Then write a new list tomorrow. And the day after.]

4 If we have been socialized to respect fear more than our own need for language, ask yourself: “What’s the worst that could happen to me if I tell this truth?” [so, answer this today. and everyday.]

Trigger warning: rape, rape culture, sexism, racism

In “80 Books No Woman Should Read,” [http://lithub.com/80-books-no-woman-should-read/] Rebecca Solnit says, “I just think some books are instructions on why women are dirt or hardly exist at all except as accessories or are inherently evil and empty. Or they’re instructions in the version of masculinity that means being unkind and unaware, that set of values that expands out into violence at home, in war, and by economic means.”

Those who listen to popular music at all, know this is true of music also. In her sensitive essay, “Hear him Whip the Women,” [http://curamag.com/issues/2015/12/4/hear-him-whip-the-women], Stacy Parker Le Melle ponders the Rolling Stones’ song “Brown Sugar”:

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I tried to watch the film "RED" the other day but turned it off just a few minutes in. The protagonist Frank, played by Bruce Willis, is shown to be a super-capable ex-CIA agent. He has a flirtatious relationship with Sarah, whom he talks to on the phone, played by Mary-Louise Parker, and he makes vague plans to meet her in Kansas City. Killers invade Frank's home one night, and he has no problem deftly dispatching them.
( discussion of creepy tropes )
Does anyone know if this trope has a name? It is super gross and annoying. It is hard enough having boundaries in life and saying no, and telling people to buzz off, etc, without stories like these which present positive portrayals of abusive situations.

Contrast to Mad Max:

( spoilers )

comments welcome

I will keep watching this, but I have mixed feelings about the pilot episode.

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Attempting to post more. Thinking about weight / size politics under the cut.

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I read the long article in Buzzfeed about misogyny in the atheist and skeptic communities, written by Mark Oppenheimer:

Will misogyny bring down the atheist movement? (content note: harassment, rape, gas lighting, etc).

This is a pretty thorough article, although there are some odd writing and editing choices in it. For instance, blogger Watson has her appearance described, although no one else does. Male privilege is mentioned nowhere. A quote given by a man, in reference to hate male, is pictured next to a woman, making it look like she said it.

There are many good points, though, and a lot of good background, such as the fact that the skeptic movement attracts libertarians. Some of the community is there via magic debunking, while others are there via ivory-tower science, and people who come from social justice areas don't necessarily have a lot in common with those folks.

In talking about this on twitter, a friend pointed out that people in geeky, alternative communities are used to feeling embattled, so are resistant to attempts to change their behavior (a geek fallacy-type observation). Also, sometimes assholes make good activists because they focus on one goal to the exclusion of all else, and steamroll other concerns, which is sometimes a needed thing but also causes many problems.

Although the article covers many incidents and problems, the main reactions I've seen are to this one guy Shermer (who seems like a gross individual). I am apparently in an argument with a friend's spouse over on Facebook. UGH, people are fools.

After the Shermer article: what do you decide? A call out to the community.

The Shermer Allegations: some considerations for those to whom this is a nasty shock

I should say that I am not a member of these communities and have no idea who these people are; I am mostly interested in this because of the patterns of harassment and reactions are similar to what happened in my own community, and are happening everywhere it seems.

I am angry lately! Anger can be good, but also exhausting. I got into a tiff with Saeed Jones on Twitter earlier this week, and I am still upset about that. He is a popular Twitter personality, and LGBT editor for Buzzfeed. He was mocking women at the Met Gala on the red carpet. I criticized him for it; he said "The exit is this way." (I also made a storify.)

I guess I have high expectations for public LBGT figures. He's anti-racist, so I expect him to be feminist. I expect feminists to be anti-racist. I expect intersectionality from people. It doesn't happen.

I admit I might be wrong about the particular issue: criticizing famous women/the way they dress on the red carpet. But I don't think so.

I can see where people might think it's "punching up" type of comedy or making fun to snark at these women and their dresses, because they are actresses, musicians, etc, and they have a relative amount of money and power compared to the rest of us.

But women don't have power in the entertainment industry compared to men. Men hold the power there and as a feminist I want to support women who are trying to make it in Hollywood.

I also love women, so you know, it's fun to just like looking at women in pretty dresses, you know? I don't enjoy cutting them down.

Sigh.

1. Dustin Hoffman gets choked up over Tootsie. Interview from 2012, clip at the Mary Sue.

"I have been brainwashed."

2. I enjoyed this NY Times Magazine piece about a man who reinvented himself after getting fired from two famous rock bands:

A Rock and Roll Casualty Who Became a War Hero