Horses are good company -- The Witcher

1. Do you believe that music can have a direct effect on your life?

Music has been so, so helpful over the last year and a half in particular. I made a Spotify playlist for optimistic music / concussion songs, and I keep adding to it. While badly concussed I put that on and let it play 24/7. It helps manage my mood.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7tHhrkr1HWD1wLYAy3u0lT?si=b93a5cbec69b4102

Music is a big part of vidding culture, too.

2. What is your current favorite song?

Strange Currencies by REM, which I sort of re-discovered (as many did), by watching the Bear.

3. What's the one song from junior high that you can still rattle off all the words to?

Most of the country songs from the 90s, which was perhaps a golden age for country? Everyone listened to it here. Probably all of Garth Brook's country discography.

4. Did you have a prom song? Don't be embarrassed, we all did it.

No idea. Prom was not a great experience for me, not like traumatic or anything, but very comp het and deeply uncomfortable. Well. I had an instance of selective mutism during prom that lasted hours so maybe it was a bit bad.

5. Do you and your significant other have a "song" that you share?

I don't have a sig other, but there are plenty of songs I associate with people. My mom likes Ann Reed's "The Fair," Rosemary Clooney, Joan Baez, the Beatles. My dad will listen to anything but he particularly likes that guy who is married to Amy Grant, a country singer I can never remember the name of.

1) What are you wearing right now?

Jeans, Keen sandals, a leather belt, and a teal colored t-shirt.

2) What would you rather be wearing right now?

I get to choose what I want to wear every day, so... not applicable? This is a benefit of disabled life or life outside of the capitalist grind. One does look for excuses to dress up upon occasion.

3) What is your favorite outfit of clothing that you currently own and wear?

Not so much an outfit perhaps but many individual items: My leather jackets, of which I have several. A soft green t-shirt from REI, a light-weight gray zip-up hoodie, and yoga pants. I have a long skirt I like a lot but it doesn't have pockets, woe. I have tall rubber boots with rainbow laces. Many of my favorite items are not great for hot weather.

4) What is your favorite outfit of clothing that you have ever worn?
When I was a smaller size (honestly probably underfed), it was a lot easier to find cool clothes for not very much money.
This one was "the adventure suit," a brownish skirt and zippered jacket. Brown leather patches adorned the top of the shoulders. It had pockets and the collar had a cool flare.



This outfit was a black pinstripe dress with cap sleeves, worn with a long grey jacket and black leather boots. It's a little bit dominatrix which is not really me, but it was fun to wear, and kind of cosplay that confidence.



Not pictured, a wool suit that I wore to a friend's wedding. The suit was a warm brown, maybe tweed?, and looked good with a maroon shirt and a tiger eye necklace-- my favorite colors. I briefly had some maroon-colored boots that I loved and wore with this outfit along with a flat cap, to guest speak at a class that Cabell taught.

I think I go for a slightly Star Trek uniform look in my fashion fantasies.

I am much fatter these days and all these clothes have been given away.

5) What was the last new or new-to-you garment you bought or acquired?

At a consignment store where my mom likes to shop, I got a navy no-iron blouse with an anchor motif. The anchors are small and white and I feel they reflect my recent fannish interest in pirates.

Thanks to thefridayfive for the questions.

questions from thefridayfive

1. If you were President of the United States, what would be your top 3 things that you would like to change?

The President has limited powers unless Congress is with them. They do have the power to grant reprieves and pardons, so I'd go on a pardoning spree and free thousands of people from prison.

Policies that I would back but that would be difficult to get done:
Universal Basic Income, major initiatives to fight global warming, free college and student loan debt relief.

2. If you had to survive off of one specific type of food, what would it be and why?

Galettes, because I just ate part of one that my roommate made and it was the best thing I've ever eaten. It's pastry wrapped loosely around delicious filling.

3. If your life were a play, what would it be (tragedy, comedy, drama, etc.)?

A lesbian comedy.

4. What community is your favorite and why?

I love my little corner of the fanfic community. If this is referring to DW communities, it seems like few of them are active these days. I like fancake which has themed fanfic recs.

5. When did you realize you were finally an adult and how did it make you feel?

I honestly don't remember. I enjoy reading things online about how traditional markers of adulthood are largely out of reach for my generation (home ownership, for example) due to our low wages and high student debt and a certain nihilism about the future.

Sometimes when I'm doing organizing work I have this moment of oh, I'm the adult in the room. Meaning, I have more experience than some of these folks, and the ability to be a leader and get things done. A certain sense of responsibility but also confidence. That part feels nice, this sense of oh, this isn't my first rodeo.

1. What was the best compliment you ever received?

A friend on twitter recently said they associate me with "radical kindness".

2. What are your five best talents?

Writing; taking care of plants; taking photos; finding good stuff at the thrift store; being patient with animals and people.

3. What do you wish most people knew about you, and why?

I mostly want to be known as as a good person who tries to do the right thing. Taking this question a different way, I would like if people had a greater understanding of anxiety and pain, and how much I struggle.

4. What has been your biggest accomplishment so far, and why does it mean so much to you?

Working on Access at WisCon. I think that in a small way, the Access team helped to change the world. We showed that events can do a great job with accessibility even on a small budget. We influenced other conventions and events. I hope that we helped some people "come out" as disabled, and helped non-disabled people have a greater understanding. It was a team and convention-wide effort, but I was a big part of it, and I'm very proud of that. My mentor was jesse_the_k.

We also created wonderful documentation for all we did, and put those ideas out into the world for other folks to use. You can see some of that documentation at: http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Accessibility

5. If you could achieve anything in your life, what would it be?

Overthrow capitalism, obviously.

1) Who made you feel good this week, and how?
All the lovely people who wished me a happy birthday!

2) What did you do this week that moved you closer to reaching your goals?
I cleaned part of the apartment, with the goal continuing to enjoy the space I live in.

3) What did you most enjoy doing this week?
Reading a fanfic, A life you haven't started yet, Inception, by VIII_XIII.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/8567752
I also really enjoyed the lemon pie that my roommate made.

4) What did you learn this week?
I watched a great nature show when I was visiting jesse_the_k. I learned about Keas of New Zealand, and New Caledonian crows, which are two species of extremely intelligent and charming birds. It was on netflix.

5) What’s the funniest thing that happened to you this week?
Laughing at Galavant, a silly netflix show.

Favorite Movies

Mad Max: Fury Road
Galaxy Quest
The Man from Snowy River
Seabiscuit
X-Men 1 and 2
The Matrix

Biggest Pet Peeves

Loud noises in public / shared spaces
Overly bright overhead lights
Very strong perfume
Car alarms
People idling their cars unnecessarily
Text that is too small to read
(Most of these are disability-related rather than strictly "pet peeves")

Favorite jokes // The answers [if needed]

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy
and the other is
a little lighter

What do you get when you combine an elephant and a rhino?

Ellephino! (say it out loud)

Dream jobs // Why

Getting paid for what I do now (which is health work and volunteering and taking care of my dog and being an internet denizen). I am too ill to work. Imagining a super-supportive environment where I could get enough rest and also work, is a dream in itself.

Traits you look for in a good friend

Common interests such as science fiction, dogs, feminism, queerness, social justice, movies
Easy to talk to
Good conversationalist and sense of humor
Low-key, ie can sit and not talk, doesn't need to be in constant contact-- this is compatible with my fairly low energy levels.

1. What's the happiest thing to ever happen to you?
Getting a horse for Christmas when I was 11. Penny and I were soul-friends and I had so many good times with her. Here is a photo of us the next summer: https://flic.kr/p/63nL6f

2. What's the saddest thing to ever happen to you?
Maybe when my 2 best friends broke up with me when we were 11-ish (6th grade). In therapy, I determined this to be a watershed event for learning to shut down my emotions; and also the ringleader probably sensed something gay about me, and that is why she decided to stop talking to me. Also, the way they did it! They just stopped talking to me one day. I was bewildered more than anything.

3. What's the thing that got you the most angry in your life?
Probably at a therapist. I was about a day or two into a hypo-manic episode (?) after coming out and I thought she could help me. She didn't. I did write about it at the time http://sasha-feather.dreamwidth.org/375687.html (post was filtered but it's so long ago I will unfilter it, temporarily. Many of my older posts are locked down to private).
I got so angry about the Vivid Con ableism stuff in 2010 that I made myself ill. But, that anger has faded. I don't really feel it anymore.
I didn't get angry a lot before I came out; and then I was angry *all the time*; it seems better now a few years on.

4. What's the most frightening thing to ever happen to you?
Scary situations don't really "happen to me" so much as arise from my anxiety. I have gotten super anxious in totally mundane situations. It seemed like the only way out of the problem was to speak, and I was so anxious I could not speak, so I was stuck and frozen. Also, I didn't know why this was happening. Everyone else seemed to have no problem in these ordinary situations, like speaking to a teacher or knocking on a door. Then having random panic attacks sent me to therapy.
In a more traditional sense of frightening-- there was some scary-to-outsiders stuff with the horses, like getting bucked off. But it never seemed scary to me. Animals are easier than people, and that basic fear is easier to deal with than anxiety.

5. What's the most unbelievable thing to happen to you in your life?
a. Getting scholarships that paid for my college education
b. Getting a horse for Christmas!!!11!1!!!
c. Not realizing I was queer until age mumblety
d. getting facial pain that has no real diagnosis
e. Being on the State Champion poutlry quiz bowl team!