Prompts from [community profile] thefridayfive

Sep. 23rd, 2017 11:04 pm
sasha_feather: Big book of Lesbian Horse stories book cover (lesbian horse stories)
[personal profile] sasha_feather
1. What's the happiest thing to ever happen to you?
Getting a horse for Christmas when I was 11. Penny and I were soul-friends and I had so many good times with her. Here is a photo of us the next summer: https://flic.kr/p/63nL6f

2. What's the saddest thing to ever happen to you?
Maybe when my 2 best friends broke up with me when we were 11-ish (6th grade). In therapy, I determined this to be a watershed event for learning to shut down my emotions; and also the ringleader probably sensed something gay about me, and that is why she decided to stop talking to me. Also, the way they did it! They just stopped talking to me one day. I was bewildered more than anything.

3. What's the thing that got you the most angry in your life?
Probably at a therapist. I was about a day or two into a hypo-manic episode (?) after coming out and I thought she could help me. She didn't. I did write about it at the time http://sasha-feather.dreamwidth.org/375687.html (post was filtered but it's so long ago I will unfilter it, temporarily. Many of my older posts are locked down to private).
I got so angry about the Vivid Con ableism stuff in 2010 that I made myself ill. But, that anger has faded. I don't really feel it anymore.
I didn't get angry a lot before I came out; and then I was angry *all the time*; it seems better now a few years on.

4. What's the most frightening thing to ever happen to you?
Scary situations don't really "happen to me" so much as arise from my anxiety. I have gotten super anxious in totally mundane situations. It seemed like the only way out of the problem was to speak, and I was so anxious I could not speak, so I was stuck and frozen. Also, I didn't know why this was happening. Everyone else seemed to have no problem in these ordinary situations, like speaking to a teacher or knocking on a door. Then having random panic attacks sent me to therapy.
In a more traditional sense of frightening-- there was some scary-to-outsiders stuff with the horses, like getting bucked off. But it never seemed scary to me. Animals are easier than people, and that basic fear is easier to deal with than anxiety.

5. What's the most unbelievable thing to happen to you in your life?
a. Getting scholarships that paid for my college education
b. Getting a horse for Christmas!!!11!1!!!
c. Not realizing I was queer until age mumblety
d. getting facial pain that has no real diagnosis
e. Being on the State Champion poutlry quiz bowl team!

Date: 2017-09-24 01:47 pm (UTC)
jesse_the_k: Perfectly circlular white brain-like fungus growing on oak tree (Default)
From: [personal profile] jesse_the_k
didnt know about #2 -- excruciating. Esp because 11 is such a turning point age: for me at least, i. Was beginning to become a sexual being.

The Poultry Quiz bowl is delightful, not unbelievable.

I was also struck by the volubility of the discussion back on your linked earlier posts.

I wonder if the switch to mobile has encouraged briefer replies?

Date: 2017-09-24 03:41 pm (UTC)
jesse_the_k: Happy & sad monster dolls over "bipolar = 2X Fun" (Bipolar = Twice the Fun)
From: [personal profile] jesse_the_k
Hmm, I note you said "hypomanic(?) episodeā€. I alert you to a cognitive error I was stuck in for a while: when I'm down a lot, it's too easy to pathologize joy.

Perhaps my super-productive, fast-thinking, hyper-focused seasons could be (and have been) diagnosable. And they are also moments of joy, creativity, growth & change.

Date: 2017-09-24 04:38 pm (UTC)
jesse_the_k: Sprinter with right AK prosthetic leg, shot from neck down (prosthetic sprint)
From: [personal profile] jesse_the_k
Yes.

/(Being an auntie.)

Date: 2017-09-24 06:12 pm (UTC)
jesse_the_k: Lucy the ACD's butt & tail are all that's visible since her head is down a gopher hole (LUCY gopher hunter)
From: [personal profile] jesse_the_k
[don't bother]

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