(no subject)

[sasha_feather]

I think about pain a lot. On good days I think about it in a reflective way, a political way, I try to give it meaning and words. I think I write about it so much in an attempt to normalize my experience, to not have it be such a catastrophe. Here I am, here is this thing I am living with, it sucks, but it can't be a tragedy, it isn't.

On bad days I'm just overwhelmed by the experience and disassociate from body as much as I can.

sheafrotherdon posted this great entry about loving one's body. I normally am all over that and I want to write one too. But not today. Maybe today is a day that I need to? But it's so hard to love a body in this much pain.

Migraines make me weird, or maybe I should say weirder than normal; they reduce my filter down to almost nothing. I say awkward things and can't read social cues, and when I notice this it's one sign I have a headache coming on.

But migraines also make me AWESOME at Scramble on Facebook. *goes back to scrambling*

Comments

[fullygoldy]

I think I write about it so much in an attempt to normalize my experience, to not have it be such a catastrophe.

I think your tactic works. B doesn't get very reflective about his pain, your perspective is very different and gives the whole topic dimension beyond "OWOWOWOw."

Here I am, here is this thing I am living with, it sucks, but it can't be a tragedy, it isn't.

And I like this a lot. I'm pretty sure this is the way I was living the year B was diagnosed, but I was never able to verbalize it this well. I just kept us moving until it was okay to stop.

[sasha_feather]

<3 I think the first couple of years I was not reflective at all, I was just fighting and in denial. I do think some of it gets easier with time.

Momentum! Yeah.

((hugs))

[goblingirl.livejournal.com]

You are more than your pain but when it's strong, it's so overwhelming that it's hard to see. I keep thinking back to the seeing your pain as a child. It's just not a child that I like. I hope that you are able to find some relief. *hugs*