"I believe in what you do" - Arguing against the dictionary

This is in response to Feministing and Ableist Language; the link roundups are at access_fandom.

It turns out that mystickeeper and I both got into separate arguments over ableist language in which the defender cited the dictionary. We each found it pretty upsetting. "How do you even argue that?" She asked me.

Well if someone is going to hold up a Holy Book and thump it at you, maybe there is no talking to that person, and you should disengage for the sake of your own emotional safety.

But this argument assumes that dictionaries are set texts, a canon handed down to us from a central authority, rather than living, changing texts that reflect the culture they arise from. We the people get to decide how language is used, not some cabal of dictionary writers sitting in a locked room somewhere. We have a lot a power!

I have a 1965 dictionary in my house, and I just looked up an offensive word in it. It does denote "usually taken to be offensive." I imagine the earlier editions did not have that note included in the definition.