5 questions from boxofdelights

1. What do you enjoy most about Wiscon?

These days, it's seeing some of my best friends from all over the country and world. Some of these people are family to me, and I see them only at WisCon. I like feeling like I am among my people. I also like feeling intellectually and emotionally challenged, while having this feeling of being supported and valued for who I am.

2. What do you enjoy least about Wiscon?

I usually get a migraine every time. I push hard and run out of energy, and have to intensively rest for the following week or more. This is obviously not WisCon's fault. I would like it if there were more wiscon-like spaces in the world. LGBT books to prisoners is a bit like it, in that it's a very politcally progressive space, with people who are interested in books and in making the world better.

3. Tell me about a memory from your childhood.

I have a lot of very nice memories from childhood. The first bike I remember riding was this purple bike with a banana seat: https://flic.kr/p/8VhqFY
My brothers and I rode our bikes a lot, sometimes a mile up the gravel road to the neighbor's. (We lived in the country).

With my mom's help, I sewed that outfit as a 4-H project. It's shorts with an elastic waistband, and a matching kerchief with blue and silver beads. This picture was probably taken as part of that 4-H project. Sewing is a skill that I did not keep up but probably could do if I had to, thanks to my mom's teaching.

4. You wrote, "I think calling each other on things is something we should do for each other out of respect." I like that. It reminded me of "In fandom, people will correct you just to be polite," which I asked jesse_the_k to comment on.

I think when you're on the receiving end of criticism, it can be hard to tell the difference between the criticism that comes from respect, and trust, and affection, and the one that comes from "I want to make myself feel superior by making you feel inferior." Do you have any advice on how to distinguish between the two, either as the giver or as the receiver?

This is a good and hard question that I will have to think more about. I have a lot of good friends around me that I would trust to give me feedback and hold me accountable, and I trust that this would come from a place of respect and trust, because we are friends and have know each other a long time, and have similar values. I like the idea of "calling in," though I don't think it's bad to call people out, either.

I do well giving or receiving such feedback in text form, because then I can think it over without immediately reacting, and I can run it by other people to ask for help in how to react. This might not work for other people, though; not everyone is so comfortable with text as I am.

This is obviously very complex and difficult. So many of us are used to feeling unsafe, that hearing criticism can feel like an attack, rather than useful information that we can use to grow.

Mia Mingus has this idea about "pods". A pod is a group of people you can call on, that you trust, when something harmful happens. You might have one pod that you call on when you've done something wrong, and another pod you can call on when you have been wronged.
https://batjc.wordpress.com/pods-and-pod-mapping-worksheet/

5. Would you rather cook or be cooked for?

Absolutely "be cooked for". I would rather do the dishes, put the leftovers away, and other such tasks. I'm not very confident while cooking, and often it just takes too much energy. I do enjoy baking from time to time, because it seems easier to me. This is a bit wild; my mom is a great cook, but it somehow didn't pass down to me. Both my brothers cook, perhaps out of necessity as they each have a large family. Left to my own devices, I eat cereal, sandwiches, frozen pizza, etc.

This was very interesting, thank you for the questions! If anyone wants questions, leave a comment saying so, and i will try to think some up. :)

In which i watch gay movies on netflix so you don't have to

The Feels

This was OK, but not really my jam. It's not a rom com, but rather a movie about relationships, and being honest, and working through problems. It's about a lesbian couple who are engaged, and are throwing a dual-bachlorette party in a fancy house. Their various friends and family members come for the party. One member of the couple admits, while on drugs, that she's never had an orgasm, but has been faking it all along.

I liked some of the supporting characters better than the main characters. There is a qualified happy ending, and no violence. Does discuss, in an indirect way, childhood sexual abuse. Content note for drugs and alcohol.

Duck Butter.

This was just bad, and bizarre, though I was intially lured in by the fact that there is a lesbian couple on screen who actually have chemistry, and who have realistic-looking sex. My friend and I did not watch the whole thing-- we fast-forwarded thru most of the 2nd half.

The premise is that the two women meet and decide to spend a full 24 hours together, having lots of sex and getting to know each other. The main problem is, one of the women is a horrible person-- the kind of manipulative person that I would run away from at speed. And while they have chemistry, the two women don't actually seem to like each other all that much.