![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sasha_featherI really liked this post by s.e. smith: In Defence of the Urban Car.
I am good at guilting myself about things. The "shoulds" can take the voice of a parent, or the voice of liberal politics, or just a general sense that I should be doing more things during the day. As a person with lots of pain and fatigue, I generally need to rest a lot and I often have low productivity. It also helps me to drive my car rather than walk or ride the bus. The bus makes me feel motion sick and sometimes anxious. Walking leaves me tired out.
Last spring and summer I would walk to the neighborhood dog park (about 4 blocks) quite regularly. Then in mid-summer my knee swelled up. I started driving to the neighboring town's dog park, about 4 miles away. For some reason, in my mind there were two choices: walk to the nearby dog park or drive to the further one.
Then at some point it occurred to me that I could *drive* to the nearby dog park, saving my knee, saving gas and time, etc. I could walk longer at the park because I wouldn't have to walk back up the hill to get home. It seemed a little ridiculous to get in the car to drive the short distance to the park, but on the other hand, it helped me a lot. So now, that is what I do. This decision was about giving myself permission to make my life easier, as a disabled person.
Having a diagnosis of RA did help with this act of "giving myself permission." Social support from others also helps. Sometimes people at the DP (dog park) ask if I live in the neighborhood, etc, and I will say in a self-deprecating way, "Oh yes, I should probably walk here, but it just makes it easier to drive, what with my knee," etc. And nice comments from friends and acquaintances in support do help. There is a nice parking lot there and plenty of other people drive.
Other places this applies in my life: Doing just one load of laundry instead of all of the laundry. Using the clothes dryer instead of hanging clothes on the line (except that the driers don't work very well!) Doing a few dishes instead of all the dishes. Breaking tasks up into small bits over time. Some tips on UnF*ck Your Habitat have helped because that site emphasizes small, manageable tasks, with built-in breaks: 20/10s are 20 minutes of cleaning then a 10 minute break. Also they recommend concentrating on a particular area of cleaning, one that you really notice when you are finished.
I am good at guilting myself about things. The "shoulds" can take the voice of a parent, or the voice of liberal politics, or just a general sense that I should be doing more things during the day. As a person with lots of pain and fatigue, I generally need to rest a lot and I often have low productivity. It also helps me to drive my car rather than walk or ride the bus. The bus makes me feel motion sick and sometimes anxious. Walking leaves me tired out.
Last spring and summer I would walk to the neighborhood dog park (about 4 blocks) quite regularly. Then in mid-summer my knee swelled up. I started driving to the neighboring town's dog park, about 4 miles away. For some reason, in my mind there were two choices: walk to the nearby dog park or drive to the further one.
Then at some point it occurred to me that I could *drive* to the nearby dog park, saving my knee, saving gas and time, etc. I could walk longer at the park because I wouldn't have to walk back up the hill to get home. It seemed a little ridiculous to get in the car to drive the short distance to the park, but on the other hand, it helped me a lot. So now, that is what I do. This decision was about giving myself permission to make my life easier, as a disabled person.
Having a diagnosis of RA did help with this act of "giving myself permission." Social support from others also helps. Sometimes people at the DP (dog park) ask if I live in the neighborhood, etc, and I will say in a self-deprecating way, "Oh yes, I should probably walk here, but it just makes it easier to drive, what with my knee," etc. And nice comments from friends and acquaintances in support do help. There is a nice parking lot there and plenty of other people drive.
Other places this applies in my life: Doing just one load of laundry instead of all of the laundry. Using the clothes dryer instead of hanging clothes on the line (except that the driers don't work very well!) Doing a few dishes instead of all the dishes. Breaking tasks up into small bits over time. Some tips on UnF*ck Your Habitat have helped because that site emphasizes small, manageable tasks, with built-in breaks: 20/10s are 20 minutes of cleaning then a 10 minute break. Also they recommend concentrating on a particular area of cleaning, one that you really notice when you are finished.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-09 06:28 pm (UTC)Past-me would tell present-me that he should just move somewhere different -- that's not possible without quitting my job? Okay, get a different job. But present me is at the only job where he's felt reasonably comfortable, ever, and is reluctant to leave after having been there longer than anything else. Present-me also realizes he has a hard time with planning and organizing things, and being able to get from place to place in a quarter of the time makes it a lot easier. Having to not worry about how much I can carry with me reduces stress as well.
Past-me suspects present-me doesn't have a harder time with these things than anyone else and is just making excuses, but present-me suspects past-me of being an asshole.
Okay, sorry to ramble a bit, but I think this is another angle on the question, and certainly, I would rather lobby for systematic change to stop designing towns and cities around cars (if I knew how) than yell at people for driving. I have to admit it does annoy me when people who quite clearly don't identify as having any disabilities use "but people with disabilities" as an excuse for *their* car ownership, though.
no subject
Date: 2013-06-09 10:16 pm (UTC)I find myself arguing with myself all the time about things like using paper towels (I'm sorry environmental part of me but I don't have the energy to use rags and be constantly washing them for every single clean-up job, so shut it). Sometimes, saving spoons is more important than saving that tree and I have to work on not feeling so guilty about that.
And also, yes on breaking things up into manageable pieces. The way my brain is structured, I have to do this in order to get anything done and fortunately my OCD is actually a benefit here because it looooves to break things up into pieces and turn them into long to-do lists with tiny little items. heh
paper towels, ahoy!
Date: 2013-06-11 08:04 am (UTC)Also, "manageable" FTW. Not sure? Then try a little smaller. If you get more done, fine; if not, at least you did the smaller piece.
Cars are tools. TOols are good! Tools are for using. And besides, does your dog love to ride in cars? If so, win win!
Re: paper towels, ahoy!
Date: 2013-06-11 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-06-10 12:26 am (UTC)Nondisabled doctor drive a lot, and then they turn around and ask us if we're walking enough.
Exercise for love! Any pain sends gain down the drain.
(back to bed)
no subject
Date: 2013-07-04 06:00 pm (UTC)I had another thought about driving to the close dog park rather than the further one. Points in favor of driving to the nearer park are that you're both saving fuel and being kinder to the environment.
no subject
Date: 2013-07-04 08:51 pm (UTC)I also suggest following