rage, women in public, etc

[sasha_feather]

I am angry lately! Anger can be good, but also exhausting. I got into a tiff with Saeed Jones on Twitter earlier this week, and I am still upset about that. He is a popular Twitter personality, and LGBT editor for Buzzfeed. He was mocking women at the Met Gala on the red carpet. I criticized him for it; he said "The exit is this way." (I also made a storify.)

I guess I have high expectations for public LBGT figures. He's anti-racist, so I expect him to be feminist. I expect feminists to be anti-racist. I expect intersectionality from people. It doesn't happen.

I admit I might be wrong about the particular issue: criticizing famous women/the way they dress on the red carpet. But I don't think so.

I can see where people might think it's "punching up" type of comedy or making fun to snark at these women and their dresses, because they are actresses, musicians, etc, and they have a relative amount of money and power compared to the rest of us.

But women don't have power in the entertainment industry compared to men. Men hold the power there and as a feminist I want to support women who are trying to make it in Hollywood.

I also love women, so you know, it's fun to just like looking at women in pretty dresses, you know? I don't enjoy cutting them down.

Sigh.

Comments

[dogstar]

Wow, he really was being a jerk.

(Also I thought the Death Star dress was cute. Sandra Lee, OTOH... eesh. I liked her makeup and hair but that dress seemed kind of unfortunate. Possibly she was being attacked by those stovetop popcorn popper things?)

[sasha_feather]

Hahahah!

I loved the Death Star dress; it's totally something I would wear or see at Con. It seemed like very realistic formal wear for geeks. It also seemed like an example of someone having fun with fashion. I loved a lot of the dresses, especially Lupita's! And as pointed out in articles, this was an event where fashion risks were encouraged.

[dogstar]

True enough, and in that spirit, I take back my criticism of Death By Popcorn Maker, because that's totally right up Sandra Lee's alley, I'd think.

[sasha_feather]

:D

Also, "death by popcorn maker" is actually funny-- and I think it's possible to make funny comments without being nearly so mean as those folks on Twitter.

[firecat]

Someday I would love to go to an award show party where no snotty appearance comments were allowed.

It's not about just which direction the comment is punching, it's also about how hearing a lot of snottiness over appearance causes the appearance-judgemental part of my brain to rise up and bang on the door of the dungeon where I locked it long ago because it's dangerous and harmful.

[sasha_feather]

oh goodness, yes, yes. "No body negative comments allowed" is relatively new for me (say the last 6-ish years) and has really helped me.

[bibliofile]

Just another case of one person's fantasy is another's nightmare?

[amadi]

Saeed is never intersectional. He's about cis gay men and black men and even black women are left out of his thinking. He disappoints in a lot of ways and I had to unfollow for my wellbeing.

Fashion criticism is fraught. It becomes so often about the person rather than the outfit. It's hard to get out of that trap unless you're really trying hard.