The complicated world of illness
Oct. 26th, 2022 07:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sasha_featherI was having intense, somewhat scary ear pain, so I went to see a doc yesterday. She was someone I haven't seen before, but same department-- they fit me in, in other words. She was very good and weirdly easy to talk to (I don't often find new people easy to talk to).
No apparent infection. She thought this is RA inflammation in my jaw and prescribed steroids. Indeed my jaw is frequently (always?) painful but worse lately.
I took them yesterday afternoon and felt better pretty quickly. Of course steroids have their own side effects; I was up all night which is not exactly unusual for me but the steroids probably contributed. While talking to her I realized that I feel like my rheumatologist doesn't take me seriously; he seems to think I'm fine when in reality I am not. So my plan is to push a bit harder when I see him.
My mom also said something that stuck with me. She was talking about my dad having dementia, and that he probably has had it for longer than we realized, because "very intelligent people know how to cover it up." I was like, oh, I do that. I cover up my symptoms without even realizing it, sometimes. This isn't always bad-- one finds creative work-arounds for problems. One finds coping mechanisms. But then it isn't always apparent to others that there even is a problem.
With my dad, it was often subtle things that you can kind of brush off or make excuses for. And it's not like you can do much for dementia anyways but it's nice to let people in and let them know you are struggling so they can try to accommodate you and offer emotional support. I'm definitely my dad's child, this sort of thing is not easy for me.
No apparent infection. She thought this is RA inflammation in my jaw and prescribed steroids. Indeed my jaw is frequently (always?) painful but worse lately.
I took them yesterday afternoon and felt better pretty quickly. Of course steroids have their own side effects; I was up all night which is not exactly unusual for me but the steroids probably contributed. While talking to her I realized that I feel like my rheumatologist doesn't take me seriously; he seems to think I'm fine when in reality I am not. So my plan is to push a bit harder when I see him.
My mom also said something that stuck with me. She was talking about my dad having dementia, and that he probably has had it for longer than we realized, because "very intelligent people know how to cover it up." I was like, oh, I do that. I cover up my symptoms without even realizing it, sometimes. This isn't always bad-- one finds creative work-arounds for problems. One finds coping mechanisms. But then it isn't always apparent to others that there even is a problem.
With my dad, it was often subtle things that you can kind of brush off or make excuses for. And it's not like you can do much for dementia anyways but it's nice to let people in and let them know you are struggling so they can try to accommodate you and offer emotional support. I'm definitely my dad's child, this sort of thing is not easy for me.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-27 02:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-10-27 07:17 am (UTC)*solidarity*
I mask my chronic illness at times, especially around strangers or people I don't know well or don't feel emotionally safe around.
I don't want to hear "take fish oil" or "It can't be that bad" or
people to give me pitying looks like I'm a dying puppy.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-27 12:01 pm (UTC)I definitely went to the urgent care once for what I thought was an ear infection, but turned out to be referred jaw pain from my TMJ. It's no fun.
no subject
Date: 2022-10-27 06:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-10-27 06:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-10-28 02:30 pm (UTC)