Repost of old notes: Chronic Pain class
Jan. 3rd, 2012 08:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sasha_featherI'm doing an unlocked repost of my chronic pain class notes from 2009, so that I can link to them. The class ended up being about emotional intelligence and growth more than anything else. There will be several of these posts in a row.
I went to a pain management class today, the first in a series, and I'm really going to like it. It was an hour and a half, and it was not long enough. We did some guided hypnosis which was truly amazing. According to the website, "Hypnosis avoids the critical censor of the conscious mind, which often interferes with the discovery and ability to make use of new possibilities." I could really get into this stuff. Hypnosis has been used clinically in place of anaesthestheitatia. AN-A-ste-the-ia. One of my first thoughts was Wintrow in Liveship Traders, and how he goes into a trance when his finger gets amputated. One of the instructors, when asked if people can maintain hypnosis for long periods of time, said that this state is an extension of an everyday experience-- think of athletes, highway driving, kids in front of a TV, factory workers. Or that guy in Office Space. Highway driving in particular tends to be relaxing for me, "zen", I don't have to think about it on a conscious level. I'm good at it without trying to be, whereas pretty much everything else in life is a struggle.
There were about 14 people in the class, nearly all women, a lot of chronic migraine sufferers, a lot of people with multiple problems like me. Ground rules for the group are things like avoid giving advice and avoid dominating the conversation, turn off your cell phone, and don't wear strong scents. This group is an advanced group, less talking, more practicing of skills, which is good. I'm really glad to be in it.
Today in pain management class we talked about forgiveness (part 1). What does forgiveness look like? Feel like? What words do you associate it with? Why do you think we would be talking about this in a pain management class?
Someone observed that the words we came up with were very "open" words, while pain can make you feel very closed and isolated. (The person who said this, I like him very much.)
People suggested: We need to forgive ourselves, because pain is not personal. We need to forgive other people for not understanding or not being supportive, including doctors. We need to forgive our own bodies for hurting. We need to forgive the world for being an unfair sucky place.
Forgiveness is very healing and can have positive physical effects.
Forgiveness does *not* mean forgetting, condoning, or refusing to seek justice. It does not mean you have to keep someone toxic in your life.
If you find yourself thinking about an event or person, and it makes your physically or emotionally upset; if you fixate on the event so that you think about it more than you do good things; or if you think about the event in repetitive ways, then you have a grievance.
We did some "free writing" about a grievance we had. Then we ran out of time, so I guess we'll continue this next week.
---
I also thought today about last night's meltdown-- that it's just grieving over being so sick. Last year in January I was working 80 hour weeks. I worked 17 days in a row before I got a day off. I shouldn't have been doing that in the first place. I still had this image of myself as a basically healthy person, with a pain problem that I should be able to push through. I had my mom telling me that I should be able to work full time, and she's normally pretty sensible so I listened to her. I didn't have a diagnosis to say, here, this is why I need to work part-time.
I guess I had to get really sick in order to change that self-image and accept that I am not capable of doing that kind of thing. (Also, clearly-- I'm not too fucked up to work. I'm just still recovering from having pushed myself far too hard. And I'm trying to get better, which is very hard work!! Doing health management is a full time job in itself.)
I went to a pain management class today, the first in a series, and I'm really going to like it. It was an hour and a half, and it was not long enough. We did some guided hypnosis which was truly amazing. According to the website, "Hypnosis avoids the critical censor of the conscious mind, which often interferes with the discovery and ability to make use of new possibilities." I could really get into this stuff. Hypnosis has been used clinically in place of anaesthestheitatia. AN-A-ste-the-ia. One of my first thoughts was Wintrow in Liveship Traders, and how he goes into a trance when his finger gets amputated. One of the instructors, when asked if people can maintain hypnosis for long periods of time, said that this state is an extension of an everyday experience-- think of athletes, highway driving, kids in front of a TV, factory workers. Or that guy in Office Space. Highway driving in particular tends to be relaxing for me, "zen", I don't have to think about it on a conscious level. I'm good at it without trying to be, whereas pretty much everything else in life is a struggle.
There were about 14 people in the class, nearly all women, a lot of chronic migraine sufferers, a lot of people with multiple problems like me. Ground rules for the group are things like avoid giving advice and avoid dominating the conversation, turn off your cell phone, and don't wear strong scents. This group is an advanced group, less talking, more practicing of skills, which is good. I'm really glad to be in it.
Today in pain management class we talked about forgiveness (part 1). What does forgiveness look like? Feel like? What words do you associate it with? Why do you think we would be talking about this in a pain management class?
Someone observed that the words we came up with were very "open" words, while pain can make you feel very closed and isolated. (The person who said this, I like him very much.)
People suggested: We need to forgive ourselves, because pain is not personal. We need to forgive other people for not understanding or not being supportive, including doctors. We need to forgive our own bodies for hurting. We need to forgive the world for being an unfair sucky place.
Forgiveness is very healing and can have positive physical effects.
Forgiveness does *not* mean forgetting, condoning, or refusing to seek justice. It does not mean you have to keep someone toxic in your life.
If you find yourself thinking about an event or person, and it makes your physically or emotionally upset; if you fixate on the event so that you think about it more than you do good things; or if you think about the event in repetitive ways, then you have a grievance.
We did some "free writing" about a grievance we had. Then we ran out of time, so I guess we'll continue this next week.
---
I also thought today about last night's meltdown-- that it's just grieving over being so sick. Last year in January I was working 80 hour weeks. I worked 17 days in a row before I got a day off. I shouldn't have been doing that in the first place. I still had this image of myself as a basically healthy person, with a pain problem that I should be able to push through. I had my mom telling me that I should be able to work full time, and she's normally pretty sensible so I listened to her. I didn't have a diagnosis to say, here, this is why I need to work part-time.
I guess I had to get really sick in order to change that self-image and accept that I am not capable of doing that kind of thing. (Also, clearly-- I'm not too fucked up to work. I'm just still recovering from having pushed myself far too hard. And I'm trying to get better, which is very hard work!! Doing health management is a full time job in itself.)
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Date: 2012-01-04 02:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-04 02:45 am (UTC)