sasha_feather: Kira Nerys from deep space nine (Kira)
The panel I submitted for WisCon this year! this panel idea may or may not make it through the selection process, but if it does, hopefully you can get a head start on reading these fics. I selected the following fics based on your suggestions.

The First Time - Star Trek - by afrai - rated general audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/chapters/16193

Lunch and Other Obscenities - Star Trek - by rheanna - rated general audiences
https://archiveofourown.org/works/5205
Has 2 podfic versions available:
by sophinisba: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12365616
by annapods: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8463766

Hermione's Hogwarts Crammer for Delinquents on the Run - HP - by waspabi - rated teen and up
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7331278
Podfic by lazulus: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21274127
(this fic also has a couple of foreign-language translations)

Known Associates - MCU - by thingswithwings - rated Explicit
https://archiveofourown.org/works/6292210
(note: long)
sasha_feather: the back of furiosa's head (furiosa: back of head)
The One where Bucky has a metal cock (2050 words) by sasha_feather
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Natasha Romanov
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)
Additional Tags: PWP, Bucky's metal dick, Natasha POV, Bucky has a metal cock, Bisexual Character, Cyborgs
Summary:

Bucky has a metal cock and Natasha likes it.

sasha_feather: Logan from X-men (Logan)
Medvezhonok (18145 words) by lanyon
Chapters: 6/6
Fandom: Captain America (2011), The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/OFC, James "Bucky" Barnes/OMC, James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Original Character - child, Natasha Romanov, Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster, Thor (background), Steve Rogers, Tony Stark
Additional Tags: Kidfic, murderfluff
Series: Part 1 of Medvezhonok


This fic is POV a 3-year-old child, Stefan, who is Bucky's son. They escape from HYDRA and are on the run, sometimes settling for a while only to have to move again a few months later. The story conveys so well what it's like to be a child, at least a certain kind of child; the world is big and confusing, and the center of that world is a beloved parent.
sasha_feather: Nux running (mad max) (nux running)
Sophinisba is a dynamite, experienced, awesome pod ficcer, and you should check out her stuff!

[Podfic] Bucky's Reasons for Staying Alive (27 words) by sophinisba
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Darcy Lewis
Additional Tags: Podfic, Podfic Length: 1-1.5 Hours, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: M4B, Audio Format: Streaming, Jewish Bucky Barnes, Plants, Gardens & Gardening, Service Dogs, Panic Attacks, Bucky Barnes Has Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Disability, Headaches & Migraines, OT3, Threesome - M/M/M, Pesach | Passover, Veterans, Coping, Therapy, Anxiety
Summary:

sasha_feather's story read aloud: A gentle story about Bucky dealing with PTSD and anxiety by finding hobbies and connecting with the world. This contains a description of a panic attack.

sasha_feather: Black, white, and red image of woman with futuristic helmet (Sci Fi Woman)
The working title for this was "Bucky likes plants."

Bucky's Reasons for Staying Alive (11088 words) by sasha_feather
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Characters: James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Darcy Lewis
Additional Tags: Jewish Bucky Barnes, Plants, Gardens & Gardening, Service Dogs, Panic Attacks, Bucky Barnes Has Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Disability, Headaches & Migraines, OT3, Dr. Strange is played by Oded Fehr, Passover
Summary:

A gentle story about Bucky dealing with PTSD and anxiety by finding hobbies and connecting with the world. This contains a description of a panic attack.

I love comments and kudos! :) Hope you enjoy.

sasha_feather: a head full of interesting things (head space)
I’m trying to write every day despite having bad facial pain that affects everything, which in turn is probably due to poor breathing from the polar vortex cold weather. This means I’m doing most things pretty slowly, but I still want to do them.

When I was 28 I had a bizarre coming out experience. Some of you were there to read along with it, others I didn’t know yet. This experience defied description, but some words and some stories do come close, or have something in common with my experience and resonate with me. They have to do with compartmentalization, which Wikipedia defines as:

“a subconscious psychological defense mechanism used to avoid cognitive dissonance, or the mental discomfort and anxiety caused by a person's having conflicting values, cognitions, emotions, beliefs, etc. within themselves.”

For me, compartmentalization was a way to deal with having severe anxiety, and with perceiving that the world is not safe for queer people. I walled off part of myself, and could only fully access this part when my mind was ready.

Fanfic and book recs follow. Many of these I haven’t read in a long time, so I can’t provide content notes.

Numberless the Ways, and Imperceptible. LOTR, Legolas/Gimli, by Laura JV.
Text: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13680141
Podfic by exmanhater: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14226666

One has the capacity to feel things, but at the same time not perceive them. Different levels or areas of your brain are not fully communicating. Things happen in their own time. Sometimes people on the outside like friends and family, can see what is happening more clearly than the person experiencing this phenomenon.

In the YA novel Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, by Benjamin Alire Saenz, the character Ari comes from a family that doesn’t talk about things. There are important subjects that are taboo, and there are secrets. Ari compartmentalizes his feelings about his best friend Dante. Interestingly the author also came out later in his life. (audiobook is read by Lin-Manuel Miranda).

By Any Other Name, by entangled now, Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles
https://archiveofourown.org/works/566258
Podfic by Rhea: https://archiveofourown.org/works/589131

Amnesia fic isn’t quite the same, but shares some resonances. Namely, that the characters start the story lacking full use of their memories, and by the end (in this trope), the characters have their minds and narratives re-integrated. The amnesia can serve as dis-inhibition, or gaining a new perspective on one’s self and one’s relationship. The mind can sort of step outside of its normal pathways.

In Mirror Dance by Lois McMaster Bujold, Miles temporarily loses his memory. When he regains all of his memories, he experiences a “cascade” when they come rushing back in. This was the closest term I had to my experience of having my thoughts race, replaying and reanalyzing memories with a new lens, as I felt my brain re-align itself.

Sell Your Body to the Night, by dira sudis, Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles
Text: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2838161
Podfic by thilia: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5145440

In this epic work, Stiles experiences a trauma and runs away to San Francisco to become a sex worker. He puts the knowledge of his trauma away and very carefully does not allow himself to think about it. He acts in ways that may seem dangerous to others, but which feel safe to him. He maintains a strict sort of control over his life, in order to protect himself from too-powerful feelings.

Compartmentalization seems to me to be a normal coping strategy in response to anxiety, to trauma, or to living in a dangerous world.

I am interested in reading more stories like these if you know of them. Podfic and audio books are especially preferred but not necessary.



Poll #21224 akudospoll
Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 18


So, what did you think?

View Answers

Kudos!
18 (100.0%)

sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (hot fuzz)
Day 9 - Post at least three recs for fanworks that you have created.

I haven't read any of these in a long time, fair warning.

Silenciar (1222 words) by sasha_feather
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Losers (2010)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez/Jake Jensen
Characters: Carlos "Cougar" Alvarez, Jake Jensen
Additional Tags: Community: kink_bingo, Silence Kink, Canon Character of Color


Head and Shoulders (1549 words) by sasha_feather
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Leverage
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Parker/Eliot Spencer, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Background Parker/Alec Hardison, Background Eliot Spencer/Alec Hardison
Characters: Parker, Eliot Spencer, Alec Hardison
Additional Tags: Trans Male Character, Community: kink_bingo, Sex Toys, First Time, Strap-Ons, Trans Character, Hair, Eliot's hair is amazing, OT3
Summary:

A PWP featuring trans-masculine Eliot and Parker.


Yippee Ki Yay, DaddyFucker (3732 words) by sasha_feather
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Live Free or Die Hard (2007)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Matt Farrell/John McClane
Characters: John McClane, Matt Farrell
Additional Tags: Age Difference, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Phone Sex, Star Trek References, Alien references, assholes in love, cross play, alternating pov, Established Relationship, cross dressing, PWP, Community: sexy_right
Summary:

Matt ran his hands over John’s bald head, pulled him down, and said too loudly, “Yeah, Daddy, give it to me.”

sasha_feather: Nux running (mad max) (nux running)
Snowflake challenge day 3:
Recommend 3 fan works not your own

1. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8016253
Come Forth into the storm, the Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus (DA:I), by zythepsary

A lovely kink fic where Doran and Bull have a friendly wager: who can sleep with more people in the castle? It gets emotional too. Love this fic!

2. http://archiveofourown.org/works/13032336
A Quite unlosable game, by some_stars, Dark Angel, Max/Alec

The deals with the shadow of Manticore and how it affects Max and Alec's relationship.

3. http://archiveofourown.org/works/13138692
Without Fault or Flaw, by longwhitecoats, Kushiel series

A powerful and moving piece about a war veteran visiting the Court of Night-Blooming Flowers. Disability-positive work.

4. http://archiveofourown.org/works/5269628
Stuck on the Puzzle, by spectaclesofthor, the Iron Bull/Cullen Rutherfod (DA:I)

A long kink fic that is so great at holding tension and shows how these two are so good for each other. Gripping.
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Daredevil)
(I just couldn't resist that title)

rating Explicit
John McClane/Matt Farrell
Live Free or Die Hard
tags: age difference, daddy kink, dirty talk, phone sex, star trek references, Alien references, assholes in love, cross play, alternating POV, established relationship, cross dressing, pwp
warnings: none
Words: about 3700


At the AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6288958
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (sirius black)
At Shingle Street on Ao3

Rating: Explicit
M/M original characters
about 33K
WWII, England

Once I started reading this fic I couldn't put it down. It has alternating view points between a disabled English WWI veteran and a young deserter from the German Army, during WWII in England. The characters are exceptionally well drawn. Hugh, the Englishman, has lung problems from gas attacks. This fic got at some of my favorite themes: living with disability (for Hugh), queer identity (for both charcters), and a slowly building relationship. I loved it.
sasha_feather: white woman in space suit (Astronaut)
Sell Your Body to the Night by [archiveofourown.org profile] dsudis. Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles, explicit, 121K words.

I've been thinking about this one for days since finishing it. Stiles becomes a runaway sex worker in San Francisco, living in poverty. I was utterly pulled in to Stile's emotional state, the way his world narrows down to the things he can cope with, and how he focuses in on his time with Derek because it is what makes life tolerable. This was a controlled, slow story that led the me expertly right where it wanted to go. Also there is a great water sports scene plus Laura Hale being awesome.

Some Legends are Told by elisera. Derek/Stiles/Lydia. AU. 23,921 words. explicit.

Lydia is in line to inherent the throne, and her country has been at war for many years. She takes charge and does things her own way. It is awesome. I enjoyed the way that the relationship between these three slowly develops. Also, it isn't only about their relationship-- they also have a war to fight and a country to run. The setting reminded me of some YA fantasy novels that I love (Kristen Cashore and Megan Whalen Turner books), and it was also great to read a story where Derek doesn't magically heal.
sasha_feather: Max from Dark Angel (Max from Dark Angel)
After reading [personal profile] thingswithwings' latest fic, Odd One Out, and relating a lot to Eliot in that story, I am idly wondering if I am perhaps aromantic.

It seems like a simple relationship style that would work for me.

There is a lot of upheaval going on in the world and in my community right now. Things are rapidly coming into hard focus. Sustained anger seems to be really working for me right now actually. *Imagines Eliot growling*
sasha_feather: neat looking overcoat (coat)
Title: Head and Shoulders
Fandom: Leverage
Pairings: Eliot Spencer/Parker (Background Eliot Spencer/Alec Hardison; Background Parker/Alec Hardison).
Rating: explicit
For: Kink_bingo; sex toys
Words: 1550
Content notes: none
Tags: trans-masculine Eliot; sex toys; Community: kink_bingo; first time
Beta by: [personal profile] j00j and [personal profile] were_duck
Notes: Comments are love. Title is a joke.
Summary: A PWP, basically.

You can also read this at the AO3.

Head and Shoulders )
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (hot fuzz)
Rec: Slow Dancing in a Burning Room by [archiveofourown.org profile] feelslikefire. Q/Bond. Post-Skyfall.

This had a nice slow build to it, and a fun, snarky flirtation. There is a slow reveal to Q's back story. I liked Moneypenny's characterization and the friendship between her and Q. A very satisfying read.
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Hawkeye)
Title: Another Kind of Courage
By: [personal profile] sasha_feather
Fandom: Avengers movie-verse
Pairings: Clint/Natasha/Steve
Content Notices: no standard notices apply
Rating: Super Sexy (Explicit)
Word Count: ~2000
Kink: Obedience (for [community profile] kink_bingo)
Beta: [personal profile] anna_bird and [personal profile] were_duck, thanks buddies!
Summary: Natasha tells Steve and Clint what to do.

Also available on the AO3. Feedback always welcome.

Read more... )
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
Fastening One Heart to Every Falling Thing (51519 words) by thefourthvine
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Hockey RPF
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin, Evgeni Malkin/Alexander Ovechkin
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulbond, Trope Subversion/Inversion, Spacetoaster
Summary:

Geno can't. Sidney won't.



This isn't my fandom and I know nothing about hockey. That said, I loved this story a lot. It's a great tale about neuro-diversity, and a wonderful subversion of the soul bonding trope.

The world of the fic is one where everyone is psychic to a degree, and everyone soul bonds with their mate. People are warned as teens to be careful about soul bonding too early through touch and sex. Geno is born without the ability to soul bond, thus is able to have casual sex. He's seen as a resource for this purpose; but this of course also leaves him lonely.

Sidney is born super-psychic and isn't taught to control his abilities. He is sensitive, doesn't like to touch, and adamantly does not want to soul bond, despite the nearly universal expectation that he should.

Sidney is told explicitly that he's not broken, but in fact he's significantly impaired by his abilities and must make accommodations daily. He resists therapy, and indeed his therapist is annoying, but therapy is ultimately what he needs. Geno is told that he is broken, but to my eye his problem is all social stigma: people assume that he can't have a partner, and therefore doesn't want one. He's internalized the stigma to a certain degree.

These two men play hockey on the same team and end up being really good for each other.

This fic is really brilliant and I highly recommend it!
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (amelia earhart)
Reading

I'm between things right now. I started an XMFC fanfic but it's not really working for me so I don't think I'll continue with it. Some of the AUs I read just feel so... paint-by-numbers.

Just finished

This is a good reminder to leave feedback on fic I read on my Kobo!

Friend Request, by rumpleghost. A Yuletide story based on the movie Weekend, Glen/Russell.

I quite liked this; the character depictions were spot-on and it gave them further adventures together in a mostly realistic way. Well written and the tension between the characters really came through. Recommended.

Lust Over Pendle by AJ Hall. Harry Potter fandom, Neville/Draco, Hermione, Narcissa, Emily Longbottom, others.

I loved this! A comedy of manners and an adventure, the characters really sing. Today I was thinking about how utterly awesome Draco is in one scene opposite an original character. It also centers some female characters such as Narcissa DeVries (nee Malfoy), Emily Longbottom, and Hermione, who are each powerful witches and people, and who all deserve such attention. I will read more of this author. Highly recommended.

Planning on reading

More fanfic. :)
sasha_feather: Retro-style poster of skier on pluto.   (Default)
[community profile] snowflake_challenge Day 2: Rec 3 fanworks not your own.

Zweiundachtzig by [archiveofourown.org profile] dow. Charles/Erik, XMFC AU. Erik is a jeweler looking for studio space and rents a place with Raven. Other mutants work in the building and they form friendships. This is a lovely romance and the accompanying art is magnificent.

I, We, Us by [archiveofourown.org profile] winterhill. Charles/Eric, XMFC AU, Fusion with His Dark Materials. (Daemon AU). I love daemon AUs! This one kept fairly close to the movie but expanded upon it and changed the ending, and added a layer of richnees through the daemons that I really enjoyed.

A Murder of Crows by [archiveofourown.org profile] antistar_e. Snow White and the Huntsman, daemon AU. Gen. This is an amazing story that fills in some plot holes in the movie and makes a lot of sense. I loved it. Again it seems to add a layer of richness to the world by adding daemons-- explains why and how people are damaged, for example, or gives insight into their character. I really enjoyed it.
sasha_feather: Lorne from Stargate: atlantis (Lorne)
This is for [community profile] snowflake_challenge: Rec three of your own fan works.

1. Legally Blonde and How it is Awesome. Some meta. :)

2. Silenciar, The Losers (movie), Cougar Alvarez/Jake Jensen, mature. This was for kink bingo and I'm pleased with how it turned out. I'm OK with being an occasional fic writer, but this was fun to write, and I would like to write more fic this year. I'm into this pairing lately too; a small but great little fandom. I can identify with certain aspects of both characters and I love how they balance each other.

3. Abacus of Rain, SG-1, Lorne/Quinn, mature. Also for kink bingo. What I remember about writing this fic was thinking about rain and how it's both calming and wild, freeing. This is a nature-kink story for me more than anything.
sasha_feather: dog looking over a valley (dog and landscape)
The dog paddle was a giant chaotic free for all with hundreds of dogs, hundreds of people, and it overwhelmed both me and Sorcha. I think she did go in the water? IDK, she got wet anyway. Mostly I didn't see her because she ran all over the place. It was too overstimulating for us. Like dog, like owner, we both seem to prefer quieter, controlled situations.

I repotted lots of plants yesterday. What I am going to do with all these spider plants? I left 2 smaller ones in the hall with a "free" sign and someone took them, so that is good.

----

The other day I read Theft of Assets, Destruction of Property, an HP story by Helenish, and it was wonderful. I liked that Draco is treated, societally speaking, as a woman might be treated in our society, and that it's unremarked upon. I also like that he finds his own way within that structure. Content note for abuse.

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