pain problems
Jun. 16th, 2024 10:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sasha_featherI'm not doing great and having a hard time talking about it, hard time reaching out. Today I felt very anxious and had high pain. Nerve pain in my face and mouth and like, the very top part of my sternum.
Helped to: write things on Bluesky, talk with a friend, eat food. Also: shower, inhaler, meds, ice pack on chest, frozen foods, meds. Ran the AC since it was very hot today. I did an easy puzzle (300 pieces) which was soothing. I couldn't find anything to watch that held my interest.
If this is all from getting off of Lacosamide, it sucks. But it will pass eventually, more likely than not.
Specific things I'm worried about, my brain is going pretty fast today.
1. Haven't heard from my parents much and I haven't called them either, which I feel guilty about, but reaching out's a 2-way street (thank you therapy). There is a family get together this coming weekend. I am not able to go due to my health but I'm having a hard time communicating that to them, partly because I do not want to accept it myself. I'm so disappointed and frustrated (at everything).
It is a 4 hour drive and my Midwestern car culture self used to think nothing of it. I can't manage it now. Of course we don't have trains or other alternatives. I'm not even sure if there are ride-share boards anymore. I suppose I can ask on FB. But even if I got a ride could I manage the social activities? I would overdo it almost certainly, and I don't have access intimacy with most of my family members.
It seems like the best thing for me right now is to sleep a lot, not travel.
2. I would feel better if the apartment were clean. Not sure how to make that happen. In the past I've had my friends over for a cleaning party. I haven't seen much of many of my local friends lately so that makes it harder to ask I think. I certainly can't afford a maid service. So that leaves asking friends and I just have to find a way to do that.
3. My internet bill went up by 30 dollars!! Because the Affordable Connectivity Program ended.
4. I feel isolated. Grateful for the friends I have seen and who have reached out! But anxious about my family and other people who have not. Logically I know that this is untrue, but sometimes I feel like it's easy for people to drop me. That is probably something to bring up in therapy huh. But being single and queer and disabled is a tough path socially too.
In better news, the dog remains wonderful. I enjoy looking at art on Tumblr, and the absurd memes, etc. I'm glad to have a good roommate. I'm grateful for lunches and movie nights with Jesse.
Helped to: write things on Bluesky, talk with a friend, eat food. Also: shower, inhaler, meds, ice pack on chest, frozen foods, meds. Ran the AC since it was very hot today. I did an easy puzzle (300 pieces) which was soothing. I couldn't find anything to watch that held my interest.
If this is all from getting off of Lacosamide, it sucks. But it will pass eventually, more likely than not.
Specific things I'm worried about, my brain is going pretty fast today.
1. Haven't heard from my parents much and I haven't called them either, which I feel guilty about, but reaching out's a 2-way street (thank you therapy). There is a family get together this coming weekend. I am not able to go due to my health but I'm having a hard time communicating that to them, partly because I do not want to accept it myself. I'm so disappointed and frustrated (at everything).
It is a 4 hour drive and my Midwestern car culture self used to think nothing of it. I can't manage it now. Of course we don't have trains or other alternatives. I'm not even sure if there are ride-share boards anymore. I suppose I can ask on FB. But even if I got a ride could I manage the social activities? I would overdo it almost certainly, and I don't have access intimacy with most of my family members.
It seems like the best thing for me right now is to sleep a lot, not travel.
2. I would feel better if the apartment were clean. Not sure how to make that happen. In the past I've had my friends over for a cleaning party. I haven't seen much of many of my local friends lately so that makes it harder to ask I think. I certainly can't afford a maid service. So that leaves asking friends and I just have to find a way to do that.
3. My internet bill went up by 30 dollars!! Because the Affordable Connectivity Program ended.
4. I feel isolated. Grateful for the friends I have seen and who have reached out! But anxious about my family and other people who have not. Logically I know that this is untrue, but sometimes I feel like it's easy for people to drop me. That is probably something to bring up in therapy huh. But being single and queer and disabled is a tough path socially too.
In better news, the dog remains wonderful. I enjoy looking at art on Tumblr, and the absurd memes, etc. I'm glad to have a good roommate. I'm grateful for lunches and movie nights with Jesse.
