Make my decisions for me!

[sasha_feather]

I am going to be in a wedding on September 3rd for my lovely friends antarcticlust and jackshoegazer. I'll be wearing a tea-length bridesmaid dress, which means it ends at the knees, and open-toed black sandals. I haven't shaved my legs in YEARS, yes I mean years, and am trying to decide whether to do so.


I think my issues with shaving are not moral: they have to do with feeling like I suck at it, I was never taught how, and that it's a waste of time and I hate being made to feel like I am expected to do it. I am not actually opposed to having smooth legs however.

Poll #7930 Make my decisions for me!

Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 29

View Respondents

To shave or not to shave that is the question

View Answers

Shave your legs
5 (17.2%)

Wear skin-tone hose
1 (3.4%)

Wear colored tights
4 (13.8%)

Just go hairy legged
9 (31.0%)

Something else I'll say in comments
5 (17.2%)

I like ticking boxes
5 (17.2%)

Comments

[chagrined]

I would say a) whichever you feel most comfortable doing, although b) if you're a bridesmaid also maybe it depends on your friends and whether they'd ~also~ care or not? I'm assuming they wouldn't but I'm sure there are also ppl out there who would and since I don't know your friends, who knows! If you don't have strong feelings either way and your friends prefer either one or the other for like ...idk picture reasons or other things or w/e, you could take that into account too if you want? Eh, either way I'd say do what you want to do first, and if what you want to do also involves taking into account other ppl's preferences then you can also do that.

Or, okay, if I have to pick something I would pick "go hairy legged" b/c it requires the least effort and I like leg hair. So that's me. ;)

eta: I guess also if you DID want non-hairy legs but you don't like shaving, you could try getting them waxed or nair'd or something?

via network

[jumpuphigh]

I never used to shave my legs because inevitably, I'd cut myself and end up with scaring and massive amounts of blood loss. However, when I started getting my legs waxed, I discovered that I really like it. (Seriously. Other people go to the spa. I go get waxed.) So my vote is for waxing.

Re: via network

[trouble]

I was going to suggest this as well.

I only bother with removing leg hair when I think my having it is going to distract others.

Re: via network

[sasha_feather]

There is no way I am waxing! The thought fills me with terror. :O

Re: via network

[trouble]

I understand completely! <3! <3 <3!

Re: via network

[sasha_feather]

Doesn't it hurt? :O

Re: via network

[jumpuphigh]

Not really. Brazilian? Fuck yes. Eyebrows? *eeek* Underarms? *cries* Legs? I'll be napping while you do that, mmm'kay?

My results may not be typical. :) Seriously, my first time I was nervous but it wasn't as bad as I expected. I see you've said a few places that you aren't going to do it but if you ever change your mind, I'm happy to share the information about the type of wax that my waxer uses. It hurts way less than the wax that most places use.

[futuransky]

I picked shave your legs, but only because you said you might like smooth legs and it seems like it would be a nice time to try it! I in no way endorse coercive legshaving.

I've gone years before, but at the moment actually quite like shaving my legs... I buy shaving cream (from Trader Joe's) and new razors and spend ages on it when it's been a long time, and then I moisturize and stroke my legs a lot. commodorified made an instructional post on leg shaving a while back, but I couldn't find it on her journal.

[sasha_feather]

That sounds nice, like making it about self-care and spending time with your body. I'll check TJ's this weekend!

[themeletor]

this! this is what i do! i shave with a straight-edge razor, now, and it takes almost an hour. i get a lovely bath going, with Lush products (bath bomb, bubble bath), put on some music or a downloaded episode/movie on my netbook, and just spend some quality time with my rockin' bod. i advocate the same to everyone, with or without the razor (straightrazor or safety razor or otherwise).

[j00j]

This. The self care thing, and that I like how it feels after is what usually keeps me shaving (there are other things, and my feelings about it are somewhat complicated, but that is tl;dr). I mostly shave on a "when I feel like it" basis-- if I'm tired or if it feels like too much work (armpits are quick. Legs take longer and require more dexterity, I think), I don't do it for awhile.

I dug up commodorified's post as i also remember that it sounded helpful:
http://commodorified.dreamwidth.org/61611.html It's been a long time since I've started from full length hair, but mostly it applies to what I normally do as well (it just takes longer the more fuzz you start with). If you decide to do it I highly recommend going slowly and figuring out what angles make it easier for you. For instance, I normally shave in the shower standing up, and find that stretching my leg out and resting it on the edge of the tub makes it easier to reach my lower legs, and to straighten my knee (knees and ankles are the trickiest bits for me-- the curvy bits make it more likely that I will cut myself if I'm not careful). Your mileage may vary depending on flexibility, balance, etc. in terms of what is comfortable for you.

[holyschist]

Well, I'm pretty anti-leg-shaving for myself and hate the coercion, but the novelty of smooth legs is occasionally kind of entertaining. (For the last wedding I went to I got my boyfriend to do it, on the theory that as a person with who is not nearsighted, he'd be less likely to miss spots as I do when shaving by feel. He still missed spots.) But ultimately it comes down to what makes you comfortable and how much your friends are likely to fuss about your choice.

[sasha_feather]

Ooooh, I think it would be cool and fun and sexy to have someone else do it! I always miss spots because a) my hair is so light I can't see it, and b) legs have a ton of surface area.

[maevele]

if it is so light you can't see it when shaving, neither can anyone else. therefore you ain't gotta.

[sasha_feather]

I suppose if they are looking at my legs, I can ask them why they aren't looking at my face, hair, dress, or boobs.

[jesse_the_k]

Or the bride's?!

[holyschist]

It can be kind of fun and sexy in the right context, but apparently in my case it does not lead to a better job (part of the issue was that I hadn't shaved my legs in...IDK, months and months...so they really had to be gone over twice). Legs do have a lot of surface area, and weird dips and such! It's really easy to miss patches.

On the other hand, I figured that no one would be looking at my legs closely enough to see the missed bits, especially since it was an evening wedding.

[susanreads]

You know your friends and whether they care about that sort of thing! Also, how visible your leg hair is. "Wear skin-tone hose" sounds like a good idea to me, but is it too hot?

[sasha_feather]

I'm not sure what the weather will be; the wedding is going to be in Vermont!

[thingswithwings]

I've been to a wedding wearing a knee-length dress and unshaven legs, and it turned out it wasn't scary or awful at all, though I was apprehensive going in. Of course, it probably helped that one of the brides didn't shave, either.

[sasha_feather]

Queer wedding FTW!

[meloukhia]

I would be inclined to play it by ear and do what's comfortable for you. Maybe you don't feel like bothering and dislike the performative aspects tied in with attending a wedding, etc etc. Or maybe you wake up a few days before and go 'yeah, you know, maybe I WILL experiment with shaving or waxing or sugaring because it could be fun.'

One caution re:waxing. I haven't done it, but I know people who have and I know that it can sometimes interact badly with chronic pain or sensitive skin. So it might be worth asking around to get a survey of experiences, and possibly to ask a salon to do a small test strip for you in a discreet spot so you can see how it feels before committing to your whole leg.

[sasha_feather]

What is sugaring? And no, I won't be waxing... the very idea scares me. :O

[meloukhia]

It is another hair removal technique, which people say is gentler than waxing. It's certainly less harsh on the skin, but you are still wrenching hair out by the root, so...(I haven't done sugaring either so I am not an authority on it!)

[megwrites]

I wouldn't shave unless you know it's going to be really important to other people there. There's a stubborn part of me (the part that HATES wedding culture in general here in the U.S.) that would want to shave even less if somebody made an issue of it. Because, dammit, there's nothing wrong with body hair. It isn't gross or wrong, and leg hair is perfectly reasonable and okay and not something that needs to be shaved out of existence!

I say this as a leg shaver myself, but that changes by season. I shave more in the winter because long pants + leg hair = itchiness. In the summer, I kinda let it go because I wear shorts most of the time. I don't really give too much of a fuck who thinks my legs need shaving or not. I don't owe anyone prettiness just for going out of my house. I can be as ugly as I please.

And I don't recommend waxing at all, especially if you're terrified and haven't had it done before. My mom and grandmother used to sort of semi-coersively make me get my eyebrows waxed when I was a preteen/teenager and I hated it and it was horribly painful and left my face feeling like it was burning for hours. It might be different for legs, but I share your fear of waxing completely and have vowed as an adult that no force in the 'verse will ever make me get anything waxed EVER AGAIN.

If you do choose to shave for whatever reason, my suggestion would be to be patient with yourself and set aside a really good, long amount of time to do it so you can go slow. It takes a looooooong time to get good at shaving and work out a routine that suits you. I started shaving at 13ish and it wasn't until the end of high school that I was actually comfortable doing it.

Again, only if someone makes a big deal. If no one cares, then flash them beautiful hairy legs and get 'em going on the dance floor after the ceremony.

[jumpuphigh]

Eyebrows are way, way, way worse than legs. I get 4 areas waxed and eyebrows are worse than both underarms and my bikini area. Legs are pretty low-key. I get totally blissed out when my legs are being waxed - like with a good massage.

[megwrites]

I'm glad that your waxing experiences are good, but pain thresholds vary as do sensitivities. Plus, most anything is way worse if you're dreading the heck out of it, and if I were any where near hot wax? I'd be freaking out and crying within five minutes.

I'm sure if I hadn't been basically forced into a chair in a salon where burning hot wax was spread on my face and then ripped off in strips until my eyebrows were acceptable I might be more amenable to the suggestion. But undergoing the process unwillingly and while staring at a lady who herself has had to pencil her eyebrows on because she has nearly none left? Pretty much has set me against waxing.

Suffice to say, there's more than a little emotional trauma and memories of how painful beauty rituals were for me as a child (and how they made me feel hideous and self destructive) where waxing is involved. So, it's a no go for me.

But I'm glad to know it isn't that way for everyone.

[dayblaze]

I would shave them because I would not want to offend by being insufficiently dressed up. But they are your friends and you are best able to judge whether they or their families are the sort of people who might be offended.

I generally shave my legs when it is shorts weather anyway though, mostly because of work.

[aphelant]

I shave my legs in the summer, when I wear skirts/dresses/capris, because I love the look of shaved legs, but I don't shave very often in winter because I'm always in pants. As a 'shaver', I cut myself at least once every time I get a new razor, so if you decide to shave your legs I recommend dulling the razor a wee bit before using it -- it will still take off hair no problem, but it shouldn't be so sharp as to cut skin. (I'm not sure what a good method of dulling the razor would be, though, because I've never actually done it, I just *think* of doing it every time I switch razors but ultimately get too lazy and take the cuts instead)

[sofiaviolet]

One thing that works for me is to shave the large flat areas first, then take on the fiddly parts where I'm more likely to cut myself (like knees).

All my body hair removal advice...

[sofiaviolet]

... though you may of course choose to disregard it completely.

One thing that may be an option for you is a depilatory cream. (I personally cannot use these kinds of things - I get serious skin irritation within a couple of minutes and my hair is too tough to be much affected.)

If you were interested in waxing, I would suggest finding a place that uses what seems to be known as "hard wax" or "stripless wax" (because it's not as liquid as other waxes and doesn't need a strip of fabric pressed into it to remove). It doesn't really stick to skin, which seems to help with pain.

For shaving, I would recommend shaving a day or two before the wedding to get rid of most of the hair, and then again the next day to clean up missed spots (and take care of stubble, if you're me and have dark, fast-growing hair).

[19_crows]

(edited to add more)

Shave your legs or use depilatory. I use Nair and yes it smells kind of bad but it takes about 7 minutes and I can stand a bad smell for that long. I like the way my smooth legs feel, especially when I get into bed.