Horses are good company -- The Witcher

Got my nerve block yesterday morning! I begged them for help, got on the wait list for appointments, and then was able to get in quickly. Afterwards I slept most of the day, but now it is kicking in and I'm feeling much better.

There was a funny and kind of WTF moment where the resident was chatting with me and noticed the Rebel Alliance star wars pin on my hat. He said "I'm more of an Empire guy myself."

I said, "What... really?"

"Yeah, they have cool uniforms."

"But they're fascists!" I said. At which point he back-pedaled a little bit, and so now hopefully he will re-consider saying this to any future patients. He was a nice-seeming person who probably has never thought deeply about media. At least that is my hope!

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I am really enjoying Star Trek Discovery this season! :D

I am looking for a word that doesn't yet exist, at least to my knowledge. This word would ideally describe the particular grief that results from wanting to do things, and being unable to do them due to disability. For instance I want to read novels and non-fiction books, but mostly can't. I want to crank out fanvids but have had a hard time learning the software and concentrating. I write very slowly, which means to me that writing is very important to me-- I work at it despite my pain and other barriers.

This grief involves frustration, stymied ambition, sadness, bargaining. What words come to mind for you? Can we create such a word?


I had my nerve block today. Dramatic immediate pain reduction. It's easier to breathe, talk, think, do stuff. My doc gave me a little more of the drug than last time, as I told her that it hadn't seemed to work as well over this last winter. Hopefully with the weather improving, my sinuses will be less awful.

There is something peculiarly awful about pain in the face. Even a horse will turn her hindquarters into the wind to protect her head.

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The dog I'm sitting is an Italian Greyhound with one eye and i LOVE him. It's especially nice to have an extra dog around when my roommate is away; it's good company.

Nerve block #3 today. It went well.

The doctor had a resident with her again, and she explained everything she was doing. I think the combination of that and the fact that I had a vasovagal reaction last time, made me a little nervous. But I did OK and only had to lay there for a couple of minutes before I could get up and go. The whole thing was fast and pretty easy. I felt sort of euphoric; my pain lowered dramatically and it was easier to breathe. The resident said that my case was the most interesting one of the day.

I am waiting for the headache to come, the one that follows after the nerve block. My mouth hurts but so far, no terrible headache. I think it's just on the edge though. I bought a bunch of popsicles and plan to keep eating them.